"Until we ca here for our honeymoon..."
At this point, Shi Che’s dark eyes solemnly rested on Ling Chuxia’s face, a trace of pain slowly surfacing in his eyes, as if those mories were also extrely difficult and terribly distressing for him.
Ling Chuxia felt her heart tighten in an instant, even her breathing unconsciously slowed down.
"That day, you were taking a bath, I was organizing the things you had bought, and then... I saw your diary."
When Shi Che ntioned the word "diary," Ling Chuxia’s body shook violently, her mind filled with turmoil, and she instantly understood sothing.
All her feelings, all her matters, were recorded in that diary, yet Shi Che had seen it... Ling Chuxia’s hands suddenly clenched tightly.
Sure enough, Shi Che chuckled lightly, but it was filled with a thick mockery, "I didn’t an to pry into your privacy, but I really wanted to know what you were thinking, so I couldn’t resist, and then... only then did I realize, your being hot and cold, your keeping at arm’s length, wasn’t because you were unaccustod to being my wife, but because, you simply did not want to be my wife."
You simply did not want to be my wife...
Such a low voice, so heavy, yet one could still hear the suppressed quiver in his voice, the pain beneath his calm exterior.
Ling Chuxia could have never imagined that the truth behind it all was this: he had once read her diary, and at the ti, during his deep love for her, he discovered that she did not love him, that she stayed by his side only for her elder sister.
Then, what had Shi Che felt at that ti? What kind of despair had he harbored?
Ling Chuxia could not imagine, and could not figure it out...
She finally understood why Shi Che had suddenly lost his temper at her back then, why he had left her alone and returned to their country, and why, after that, his attitude towards her had drastically changed, growing worse and worse.
"Actually, I could have accepted your not loving , what I couldn’t accept was that I thought you were disregarding my feelings, playing with , treating my emotions as a tool you could use."
"I always tried so hard to get close to you, but Chuxia... you kept moving further away, so far that I didn’t know how to reach you."
Throughout three years of marriage, she endured humiliation and discomfort, where everything she said or did seed wrong, but apparently, the one who endured was not just her; Shi Che suffered no less than she did.
At least back then, she didn’t realize that she loved him, while he, who loved her so deeply, was unable to get close; every attempt only brought hurt.
Every ti he upset her, likely, the one who felt worse was him.
Ling Chuxia suddenly recalled that Shi Che’s headaches seed to have started around that ti, she couldn’t help but raise her eyes and her voice was unexpectedly hoarse as she spoke, "Shi Che, so... your headache, it’s because... because of this?"
"Yeah."
Shi Che’s voice was also very hoarse, "After returning to the country, for a very long ti I couldn’t sleep, I kept suffering from insomnia, drinking excessively, and then the headaches started."
Shi Che spoke lightly, but Ling Chuxia felt as though she could see how Shi Che had struggled amidst the pain during that ti.
She had always thought that it was her failure to take care of his health that led to his headaches, yet she had never considered, it was because of her...
Reviews
All reviews (0)