“If you’re worried that Ren’s angry, don’t worry,” Shin said with a small laugh. I didn’t understand how he could act so carefree.
“But I’m not sure how I should face him...” I admitted honestly.
“Hmm...your town decided to send you as their offering to the capital so...you should have so of it, right?” Shin said, clearly he was teasing .
“So of it?” I asked, not understanding.
“Skills. You should have so skills to please a man, right?” Shin said with narrowed eyes.
“Umm...I’ll...think about it...” I muttered before sighing loudly.
I wished Shin was right and that I had so skills to please a man, so womanly skills like those that the other won displayed along with their self-introduction in the grand hall. The truth was, apart from my dical skills, I couldn’t really do anything else...
Oh...perhaps, I could do that!
Shin smiled softly at as he seed to have noticed that I had a pretty good idea in mind...
...
anwhile, Ren sat at the gazebo next to the large pond as he was suddenly reminded of mories from his childhood. Whenever he sat next to a lake, he would be reminded of his mother. Recently, being with Rin had reminded more and more of his mother. The mories from long ago were still vivid in Ren’s mind and they were nothing short of painful to him.
“Prince Ren! Please stop running! You’re going to disturb the Empress!” a loud female voice shouted.
“Ok...” a very young Ren murmured as he looked up at the distressed face of one of his mother’s personal maids.
“Please keep your voice down. The Empress...is busy...” the maid said as she placed a finger to her lips.
“Oh...but I want to see mother. She’s here, isn’t she?” Ren said enthusiastically.
“Yes...but...you see, the Empress is busy...so...” the maid said hesitantly as she tried her best to co up with an excuse.
“Oh! Mother!” Ren cried out happily as he spotted his mother walking his way.
Ren ran towards his mother who had stopped in her track along with two of her personal maids by her side.
“Why are you here, Ren?” the empress said in a cold and emotionless voice. Her eyes faced straight forward without looking down at her own child.
“Umm...to see you, mother. I’ve been studying archery and...” Ren said happily as he looked up at his mother.
“I’ve told you countless tis before that you should not co here. Never co here ever again,” his mother cut in bluntly with her cold voice.
“But...” Ren protested in a small voice.
“Guards! Escort the crown prince out...at once!” the empress shouted at the top of her lungs.
“Mother! Wait!” Ren cried out as two tall guards in armor ca to usher him gently out of the palace.
Ren blinked his eyes rapidly as he snapped out of the mory of one of his attempts to et his mother. It wasn’t long after that day that his mother cut her own hair and donned the robes of a nun before shutting herself away in a small monastery on the palace grounds. At the ti Ren never understood why his mother had chosen to abandon her prestigious position of empress to beco a nun. He didn’t understand how she could abandon him and his father but after he grew up into a young adult he understood.
By the ti he fully understood his mother and her actions it was already too late. His mother had passed away a long ti ago. Ren rembered her final monts very well. It was less than a year after his mother had decided to beco a nun that Ren was suddenly summoned to her room. It was the first ti that he was summoned by his mother in his entire life, and he was summoned to hear her final words.
Ren had never entered the palace’s small monastery before; it wasn’t exactly a place where high-ranking people of the royal family would go. After his mother moved into the monastery, Ren tried many tis to see her, but all his attempts were denied by his own mother. Now that he was inside, he was surprised at how small and bare the building was. The walls had no decoration. The whole building was old and clearly not well maintained.
There was sothing about the building that made it always damp and cold even when it was warm and sunny outside. The atmosphere inside was depressing and it made him feel depressed deep inside just to be in that building. He couldn’t believe that his mother had spent almost a year in this building and at her own choice at that.
When the nun leading him gestured to his mother’s room, Ren nodded, and the nun left quietly to give them personal ti together. Ren bit his lips nervously before sliding the door open and entered what was now his mother’s room.
The room was much smaller than he expected and very bare. There was almost nothing inside, not even a bed. His mother lied down on a thin mattress on the floor with an old blanket covering her body.
“Ren...is that you?” a voice so frail and weak whispered and he couldn’t believe that that was his mother’s voice.
“Yes, mother,” Ren said as he sat down on his knees next to her mattress.
“I don’t have much ti...as I’m sure you’ve already been told...” she whispered.
“Mother...” Ren said in a shaky voice.
“Before I leave this world, I would like you to listen to ...one last ti,” his mother said.
Ren took his mother’s hand into his and for the first ti she didn’t shake his hand away. He realized how thin her hand and arm was. He couldn’t imagine how his mother could get so sick over the past months.
“I’m sorry, Ren. I know that I haven’t been a good mother to you and for that I would like to apologize. Although I know that nothing that happened to my life is your fault, I still held you partly to bla. Because I couldn’t stand up against your father, I punished you instead in his place. I am very sorry...” his mother said, her voice weak and soft.
“It’s ok...mother,” Ren whispered, feeling tears sting his eyes.
“Hear , Ren. Hear my story...before I die,” She said slowly, her breath labored.
“Yes...mother,” Ren said solemnly.
“The title of empress is a sick and sad joke, Ren. To , I was nothing more than a slave and to this day, I am nothing more than a slave. When your father conquered my land, I was forced to beco one of his concubines. I was young and couldn’t understand what was going on. Young won like were bedded in turn by the emperor. It went on and on until at least one of us beca with child...” she said before pausing to catch her breath. It was clear that speaking was taking up all the energy that she had left.
--To be continued...
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