For the first ti since I arrived here, I was awake to send Ren off in the morning. Except, today, I was sending him off to the frontline of the battle. It wasn’t that I woke up earlier than usual today to send him off. The truth was that I didn’t catch a wink of sleep last night. Even after we had sex, I still couldn’t go to sleep. The mont Ren got up, was the mont that I also got up.
“Ren...please co back safe,” I said softly.
“I will,” Ren replied without any worry in his voice.
“I’ll be waiting for you...” I said before offering him a weak smile.
“I know. Don’t worry,” Ren said reassuringly.
It easier said than done. How does he expect not to worry about him?
There wasn’t enough ti for us to share more words. Ren was in a hurry to leave, and I knew that I had to let him leave sooner or later. I watched with a sinking heart as Ren walked away from the tent. For all that I knew, this might be the last ti that I see him...
That bitter thought haunted and followed around as it continued to plague my mind. I went to work as usual and the situation at the dical tent was overwhelmingly stressful and hectic, just like normal.
“My Lady...My Lady...” Mou calling my na brought back to reality again.
“Oh...I’m sorry. I...didn’t sleep well last night,” I replied.
My hand continued to work as I felt Mou’s eyes watching worriedly. I couldn’t concentrate very well, and it was impacting my performance and speed. Thankfully, I didn’t make any big mistake, but I knew that I had to get myself together and fast. Many lives are depending on , I can’t keep on letting thoughts of Ren distract like this.
Even though I knew that it was virtually impossible not to think and worry about Ren. Each ti a new patient ca in, I prayed that it wouldn’t be Ren. In the middle of stitching a patient’s wound together, I had to pause because my hands were shaking too much. My hands just wouldn’t move the way that I wanted it to, and my fingers felt very stiff.
“I’m sorry...just give a mont please...” I whispered weakly to Mou.
“Sure. I’ll apply so numbing dicine on his wound while I wait for you,” Mou said before smiling encouragingly at .
“Thank you...I’m so sorry...” I whispered before I got up and headed for the exit of the tent.
Thankfully, it was quite windy outside and the wind blowing against my face felt a little relaxing. I wiped the sweat off my brow and sighed loudly as I leaned my back against a nearby tree. There were patients laying on the ground in front and around the tent now. I shut my eyes as I concentrated on breathing deeply.
Ren, where are you right now? How are you doing? Are you safe?
A painful cry coming from a wounded soldier nearby brought back to my senses. I opened my eyes with determination once more. I don’t know how many tis that I’ve told myself this, but I was telling myself this again: Rin, you have a job to do.
“Mou...sorry about what just happened. I’m back now. Let’s do this!” I said with renewed motivation.
“Yes, My Lady. We can do this!” Mou said before beaming a wide smile my way.
It made feel slightly guilty that for a mont I had let Mou down. While I lost my spirit to continue fighting, Mou had to hold the fort for . There’s no point in thinking about that now, all I can do now is concentrate on the task at hand.
“Ergency case here! Who can take this?” a helper called out as he stood over a man who seed to be going through a seizure.
“I can! Mou, hold him down now,” I shouted loudly.
It felt like forever had passed before the sun started to set. The ssenger from the frontline reported good progress for today. I didn’t care too much about that, honestly. My mind and heart were too busy feeling thankful that Ren did not turn up injured to the dical camp and that no one had sent news that sothing had happened to him. That was more than enough to make feel satisfied about the day.
Despite fighting on the frontline, Ren returned back to the tent later than usual. To ensure that I didn’t go insane with worry, I busied myself preparing tea and various other things that I thought would make him feel relaxed when he got back.
“Ren...you’re back...” I said as relief flooded every fiber of my being.
“Step back...” Ren said as he held a hand up to ward away.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, taken aback.
I was just going to hug him, but Ren had lifted his hand up and told to back away. While I looked at him in confusion, Ren smiled.
“I’m covered in sweat and blood...it’ll stain your clothes...” Ren explained.
“Oh...then, let help you take a bath?” I offered boldly.
“Aren’t you tired?” Ren asked, as he looked at with eyes filled with concern.
It was funny how he thought that I was tired. I wished that he could see the state that he was in so that he would think twice about worrying about other people before himself.
“Not too tired to help bathe my man,” I replied stubbornly as I took his hand in mine and began pulling him after to the bath.
I didn’t think that Ren would ever understand how relief I felt that he ca back safe. Although this was just the first day out of lord-only-knows how many days that Ren would have to fight in the frontlines. It was driving insane, thinking that our ti together may co to an end at any mont. Of course, I didn’t dare voice these dark thoughts out loud to Ren. Instead, I concentrated on the short ti late in the evening and at night that I had with him.
--To be continued...
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