Shin’s gentle express hardened a little at my words and that made realize that this must be a difficult topic for him to talk about as well.
“Yes, he will be...” Shin replied flatly.
“Are you going with him?” I asked.
Shin looked at with a curious face. He probably wondered why I was asking this.
“Yes, I will be going with him,” Shin replied.
This might co as a shock to you but...
“Please take with you!” I demanded loudly before bowing low until my forehead hit the table in between us.
There was a long mont of silence as Shin seed too stunned at my words and action to figure out a response. I could feel his eyes on as I kept my head bowed low.
“Umm...please raise your head. Bowing to won’t do the trick like it did with Ren...” Shin said with a small laugh.
Yeah...I didn’t think I could convince Shin that easily either. Slowly, I lifted my head and looked at Shin once again.
“Please, take to war with you,” I requested once again.
“Is it because you want to visit your hotown? Now isn’t the ti...” Shin asked with furrowed brows.
“That might be part of it but the main reason that I want to go is because I want to help Ren,” I stated firmly.
“Excuse ?” Shin said in pure disbelief.
“I want to help Ren. I want to contribute in my own way to end this war...this uprising...” I repeated once more with conviction.
“Listen, My Lady. I appreciate your thoughts, but it would be safer for you if you stayed within the palace walls,” Shin said seriously.
“I studied so hard to be of use on the battlefield. Please take along. I promise to work hard in the dical camp along with the other doctors. I’ll save as many lives as I can!” I pleaded desperately as I tried to make my case.
Shin sighed loudly and shook his head. His brows furrowed until there were deep lines on his forehead.
“Listen, Rin...you may think that going out there will help Ren but I’m sure that Ren will rest easier if he knows that you’re safe here,” Shin said before smiling a little at .
“But I can’t rest easy! I won’t know if he’s safe out there...” I protested loudly.
“I’ll keep him safe. I promise that I’ll guard and protect him with my life just like I’ve always done. The emperor and , we both want to keep Ren from engaging in battle...” Shin said passionately.
“But can you really do that?” I asked in wonder.
“What?” Shin said as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard.
“Can you really stop Ren? If you can, then why is he even leaving?” I challenged him directly.
Shin looked at with a stunned expression on his face like he wasn’t sure how to respond to my questions.
“Answer , Shin. If you can stop him, then why is he going to war? Why can’t he just stay here inside the palace walls? Why can’t he just stay here with ?” I demanded to know.
“Rin...” Shin muttered my na softly and I knew that I just got my answer.
“You can’t stop him, can you? I don’t want Ren to fight in any battles...I’m so scared...” I said as my voice broke.
I’m so scare of losing him. However, I couldn’t bring myself to say such an ominous thing out loud.
Shin was silent as he seed to be deep in thought. I had no idea what he was thinking, and I wasn’t sure how to get my point across to him any better than this. If I can’t stop Ren from going, then I would rather be there with him. Even soone like can help out.
“Maybe there is a way after all...” Shin said softly after a long mont of silence.
“What? Really?” I asked, unable to believe my own ears.
“I’ll talk to emperor, and I’ll send you a ssage,” Shin said as he smiled a little at .
It wasn’t a firm yes, but it also wasn’t a firm no either. This was a much better outco than I had first thought. There was still so hope for and that was more than enough.
“Thank you, Shin. Thank you so much!” I cried out in joy as I felt tears of joy stinging the back of my eyes.
“Don’t thank because I haven’t done anything yet. I’ll talk to the emperor but in the end, it’ll be his decision. A woman joining in the war march even as a mber of the dical team is still...unusual. Actually, it has never happened before. I wouldn’t get your hopes up if I were you,” Shin said with a warning.
“Thank you, Shin...” I thanked him again.
“I’m not doing this for your sake, I’m doing it for Ren’s,” Shin said as he looked pointedly at .
Even if he says that, I knew deep down that Shin is a very kind man.
“Thank you...” I said softly.
Shin shook his head at as he got up from his seat. I stood up and bowed to him as I watched him leave.
...
The next morning, after Ren had departed for work at the main palace, I received a ssage from Shin. My heart beated so hard at the sight of the ssage that I had been waiting for. After thanking the maid that had delivered it, I headed straight to my bedroom where I prayed for a favorable response before opening the ssage.
I knew that praying now wouldn’t change the content of the ssage, but I still did it regardless. I closed my eyes tightly before I opened them wide as I stared at the ssage in my hand.
‘The emperor gave his permission. We depart tomorrow at noon,”
The ssage was short and to the point followed by so instructions on how I should prepare myself and et up with Shin. Apart from those details, there were no further instructions. I felt like my heart was dancing around madly in my chest as I hugged the note close to . Finally, I’ll get to put all that I’ve studied so hard for to good use!
Also, I’ll get to be with Ren...
--To be continued...
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