The shelter was too far to walk, and the Wasteland wasnt benevolent enough to show rcy to those who ca out unprepared.
Swish!
The sandstorm was as harsh as ever in the Wasteland. The third day after I couldnt carry my mother, I took refuge in a small cave.
The amount of dry food I brought was out, and it had been a long ti since I drank water. I gave most of my share to my mother, but she couldnt swallow it and puked it back up.
D-36 is a narcotic poison. If not injected periodically, it takes the life of the subject. The kind of drug that is perfect when it cos to manipulating soone.
My mother and I were slowly dying in this cave in the Wasteland.
4 days, 5 days, the sandstorm stopped, but I had no strength to carry my mother out.
GGyosu my son.
I heard my mothers voice, who hadnt opened her eyes in several days. I felt it right away; these are going to be her last words. I had to stay by her side. I couldnt move with my legs, so I crawled close to her and lay next to my mother. Her hands, which had gone bony, in the past few months, stroked my face. She ca to her senses, but it didnt seem like she could see my face.
My son
I am sorry if only I didnt go to Do
My mothers dry hands caressed my eyes like wiping tears that didnt co out.
It isnt your fault
Just one sentence, and yet I felt like I could cry at those words. Tears touched the hands of my mother.
My poor baby I am sorry
Uh! Wwwwhhaaa
I couldnt say a thing like a child who runs to his mother with tears and buries himself into her warm body. I buried my face in her hands and cried.
There was no sign of pain on my mothers face. Just concern. She is concerned for her son, who will bear this guilt all his life as he walks through the Wasteland alone.
Clench!
I couldnt even understand how my dying mother was finding this strength.
Bite.
A hot liquid began to drop down my lips, and before I even realized what it was, my skinny body licked it.
Gyosu. You need to live. No matter what happens, no matter what you need to do, you need to be alive. As long as you are alive, you get to stand up again. Get it?
M-Mom? What is this?
Answer!
More blood dripped onto my face.
You will live! No matter what! You will live!
At my mothers strong words, I just nodded my head, and it was then that she managed to smile.
Right. Live. Living is good. Live
Thud!
My mother put those words into my mind and never got up again. I held my mother until her body had cooled down.
I should have died too. No matter what happened, I should have died there.
[But, you are a good son who listened to his mother]
He was waiting for death. However, the thirst satisfied by his mothers sacrifice further fueled his hunger. His pain was like his whole stomach was ripped apart and twisted. His thoughts of dying gradually disappeared. It was just hunger, and that hunger alone filled his mind. He couldnt rest due to starvation.
A typical accident wouldnt have caused this, but then strange thoughts ran through his mind.
Live! You need to live at all costs.
His mothers words and the drops of blood dripping down her lips. No matter what, you need to live.
What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do What to do.
What do I have to do? I
Mom
I couldnt rember what I did, but I do rember reminding myself of the will my mother had.
A few hours later, I was walking in the Wasteland.
The next day, I found a shelter.
The next day, I was back, walking through the Wasteland. There were no signs, but it was as if my body and soul were telling I was in the right place.
A cave not far from the shelter.
Ahh, ahh
Mother was there.
Dark red blood sared all over the place. A deep wound on the wrist. mories of that ti began to flow through my mind, and my throat burned.
Uhh uhhh Uhhhh.
I couldnt even get my mothers na out of my mouth. Because I couldnt dare call her. The horror in front of was like a scene in hell; it was a fra that would forever bind as I sat down.
[There is a beast inside every man if you peel off the thin shell that covers your consciousness, a huge beast you would have never imagined in life is]
I couldnt scream due to my broken heart and soul, which lost their path.
And the scream I could do would be an insult, abuse, and apology.
I rember being stuck there like dark red bloodstains.
It was a mory that lingered on as I walked through the Wasteland.
Click!
The screen went off, and the chair he was sitting on was dragged ahead of .
[Ah, look at our shells face turning black and dead. Dont you want to see more? Want to give up?]
I couldnt speak. If I open my mouth now, I am bound to lose my temper, be it through howling, swearing, or shouting. The mories of that day haunted like a curse. I couldnt run from them. The taste the strange feeling of fullness the mory of being satisfied I can never forget it.
Tremble
And that was when I started to hate myself.
More than anyone else.
[No? Mother knew it well. What kind of people are the ones in Do? What would happen if you went there? You survived alone for 2 years in the Wasteland, so you and she must have heard all that was happening. And you ignored her words and took her there. Without you, maybe your mother would have had a chance to be alive now.]
Tremble!
His consciousness felt like it was slowly collapsing.
[Ah, if that bomb had gone over my head and not my colleagues.]
Clench!
[Man, if that bullet had hit my heart and not the shoulder! If I had died mother will!]
If only I had died like that.
[You have been alive.]
I wouldnt have had to suffer like this.
Clench!
A deep cracking sound from my legs to my chest.
I had to live. Even more so for my mom, who saved . Even for the guys who saved . I wanted to die each day but had to live without a will.
Keke.
Interesting. I could feel my guilt and that mans pleasure simultaneously. I wanted to kill him.
[Um. Up to this point, you have been bad. Even based on Wasteland, it is perfect, right? But whats left behind? Can you hold onto it? If you have already looked into your sins, wouldnt it be better to watch till the end?]
Kekek!
He approached and gently touched my shattered conscience.
[Rember five years ago? Your ga character Those days when you frantically dug into the ga to avoid the pain of losing your mother and the village of Aschapelle located over the Blue Line. Do you rember?]
Ba-dump.
My hands lost their strength. My first ga character. And the village of Aschapelle, which was forgotten, I worked so hard to forget it.
[As I thought, you havent forgotten. Actually, you knew it too. This is not just a ga.]
[Now, say it with your mouth. What you saw there]
His body slowly seeped through my cracked consciousness. His voice scatters like smoke and becos my voice.
I fell in love with the ga. I would puke no matter what I ate, and Koduro desperately put inside the connector and injected food through the player maintenance function. I accepted it because I had to live according to my mothers words. In those days, when that strange feeling of satiety followed no matter what I ate, that was the only way to survive. To forget, I imrsed myself in the ga.
[And what did you find there?]
I nodded
Just an ordinary neighborhood NPC. They were a middle-aged couple and strangely, I felt close to them.
[So?]
Nothing much. Just because there were no inns in the town I wanted to stay in this house for a while. Fortunately, the couple was friendly, and I anywhere is good, so I wanted to rest. But there was no place to rest. But the house was a little different. I had been staying in that house for quite so ti.
My consciousness burrowed into my heart like a snake. Digging in slowly, revealing the guilt I was hiding deep in my heart.
The two of them provided dinners and beds every day to the single traveler who suddenly ca and asked to be given space to live there. And I did various things for them and the village. A month later, I beca known as the adopted son of the couple.
A month They were good people. In the days of cutting my wrists and repeating treatnt dozens of tis a day, in the life where I always have a single loaded gun in my reach, the peace here it was amazing how I got used to it. I thought that if I were here, maybe I could overco it, and the day would co when even those mories would sting.
It was a usual evening. Martha and Eddie were the nas of the ordinary couple who loved to bake and sing.
At first, there was a slight feeling of dizziness. Eddies habit of tapping his right hand before eating. I felt it was sothing I saw often, but I ignored it.
The familiar taste of bread. The sa delicious taste of the weekend that my mother puts on the table every Sunday morning. I ignored it too.
I also ignored Eddie when he said that he was shy and secretly wrote poetry as a hobby. And ignored the fact that Marthas washing machine was what my mother had.
Because it made no sense, it made no sense!
And then I saw myself reflected in their eyes.
I I want you to listen to us without misunderstanding what we say.
As you know, my husband and I have no kids. I dont know what is going on with you or how you ca here with such scars. Can we now call you our son?
Two people looked at with eyes of love, just like my parents. I was happy with it. I was screaming inside when I realized I couldnt even decline the offer. It was because two people replaced my dead parents.
[Andre Gedroitz such a genius. To create such a realistic, lively, and exactly human-like NPC that does not lose autonomy under any circumstances. But did you know? Before Gedroitz disappeared, NPCs werent alive until now in GG ver 1. The more people played the ga, the more NPCs started to move and act like the people.]
Just the thought was a nonsensical one. I got out of the connector and searched for the data on it. And below a lot of my log-in were these things which ca.
Sothing ridiculous was happening.
[It is the realm of God to create things that didnt exist. However, cloning sothing that already exists If it was such a genius to make sothing like this world, then wouldnt that be possible too?]
Eddie and Martha were NPCs that replicated the info of my parents. A precise reproduction of a persons ideas, actions, habits, and everything that made them who they were. In addition, the souls of all NPCs in the ga were composed of data from a connected user.
[Abominable child, what you have found is not a warm resting place but a perfect dummy to replace your deceased parents. The dead ones? What did you know? You had new parents! Perfect ones to substitute and low and treat you the sa as before!]
AHHHH!!!!
Clench!
The sense of disgust trapped over guilt. The face that had been ripped off my fingers turned bloody.
Get out! Get out of my head!
[Try and deny it! You knew right from the start! You just ignored that! There is no such thing as acceptable if anyone just loves you! If only you could run away from those mories! Anyone would have been fine!]
AHHHH!!!!
I wanted to pull its head out and puke, and I hated myself for even trying to forget all of it. I wanted to forget. But these werent things that could be simply forgotten. That I was trying to replace everything I have received so far!
I always rember answering Yes to the questions of Eddie and Martha.
Drip.
Dark red flesh was rising between the torn skin of the face. An infection that stopped near the neck rose to the jaw, and a sweet-scented voice cut through the crumbling consciousness.
[Shh. Do not be so sad. When you are unhappy, my heart hurts too. I will help you.]
Help ?
[Right. You have a father who died for you and a mother who has everything beyond that. However, you decided to forget the parents who raised you and replace them. Isnt that a heavy burden to carry alone?]
Heavy. Right, it was too heavy. I couldnt even stand on my own, so I wandered through the wilderness and took dicine, and because that wasnt enough, I tortured my body. Every ti I felt pain, I was paying for my sins. The habit of self-harm continued for a year.
[Right. How painful must it have been to be locked up with such hate? Let put it down. I will take it all with .]
Take it with you?
[Correct. Your sins, your mories, your pain. I will take care of everything. You forget it and fall asleep.]
Crumble.
The last remaining ego of Professor began to crumble. The infection he had been looking at was now his vision, which could see nothing.
[Ahh, that is what it felt like to see the world, to have a body. Being a completed object. It really is beautiful.]
The monster tried to move into its new body. Contrary to its appearance, the body looked fragile. But there must be a way to bring it back. There was no affection, but he decided to ask his mother for help.
[Um?]
His body The infections must have proven all of it. Then why? Why is the arm not moving freely?
No
Clench!
Professors right arm moved slowly, but it was out of the monsters control, who was gaining control of his body.
I cannot give it
The burnt mories piled up in his wounds. The ego forcibly built on it crumbles, and small hidden fragnts shine. So call this the essence of life. So call this humanity. So call this the soul.
A decision shredded by pain at the extres of life was holding onto the final consciousness.
Those sins are mine
My body, my life. I will carry them all on my back, even if I have to take them all. The mory of that mont when I have forsaken humans. And the mory of trying to replace those who gave everything. That disgust. The pain is all mine. The prisoner of that sin must be alone.
The right hand covered half of his face as he began to tear it apart.
[Wait, stop! Wh-Why dont you just give up?! What you feel is what I feel! This this pain is real! Your life will go on and on, full of pain! There is no hope in life unless you forsake those mories!]
Thud!
The arms began to twist. The sensation of limbs was back, and the pain of infection, which seed to tear the body from the inside, ca back. The heat was fine. This is right, because I deserve this pain and suffering.
Chak!
The half-squashed eyeballs began to regenerate, and vision was back. His voice faded away, and the guy was crying for so reason.
It is fine. This is how I decided to live.
I will not forget it. The dedication that day. And the who was about to give it all up.
Chik!
Do not give up
Like that you need to live for sure live
The last mories I had of the two of them flashed quietly in front of my eyes.
Humans are hope-seeking creatures. Nonetheless, so broken and shattered souls continue their lives by suffering sins with the sha of clinging to a soul so fragile that it may be destroyed by a gust of wind.
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