Chapter 72: Sing Like Only Spiders are Watching!
Did Josh just potentially convince the system to add a super deadly pitfall to its arsenal?! People would die! Oh, no! Anyway...
In the air, glowing red portals started appearing absolutely everywhere! This would be the "impossible" difficulty. Josh could already feel his entire body throb with excitent. The portals started rippling akin to a small pond in which one would have thrown an overweight whale.
That's when the bloody tears in space began vomiting monsters, tons and tons of spiders! They all fell while flailing their legs in the air. A few seemingly noticed Josh and without further ado, they started throwing strings at him. Volley after volley ca at him.
Evading the initial outburst was pretty easy, the troubleso part was that the webs stuck to the ground and trees alike creating instant traps. Anyone getting stuck in it would most probably be reduced to sitting ducks until they got overwheld.
The whole forest soon beca completely painted white. Indeed the usual transparent strings beca pure white once in high enough quantity. There was so much of it that it could beat any videos Josh had ever seen on Porn Hubris back on Earth.
For anyone unprepared, this whole challenge would have been near impossible to clear, but Josh had his secret weapo- shoes! He simply dashed ahead and used the webs to support his weight as he charged toward the spiders.
They had spent most of their energy on all these ranged attacks only for their enemy to use it all against them! Josh ran atop the webs with his weapon out slaughtering spider after spider, quite like an ani protagonist but without the pointless never-ending screaming. He had even turned his stick into a large but thin greatsword to look the part.
With so many to kill, he was sure to finally be able to summon the Boss. Pumped up, Josh even began humming a cheerful tune as he slaughtered. That is obviously the right way to annihilate entire species. He sang as if no one was watching.
He even went so far as to improvise lyrics as he completely decimated hundreds and hundreds of spiders. How much of its "processor" was the Tower Protocol using for that single fight?
It went sothing like this…
(￣▽￣)つ＝lニニフ
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They said Climb with a party
Screw all that bullshit shall we
Right now I'm very very happy
So many "friends" around
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I'm raiding their entire lair
Their brethren as footwear
All their hair standing up
They know they fucked-up
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Hello "friend" but only for an instant
Slashing, piercing, or crushing
It only takes one movent
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So very very happy
Just a tiny weeny tad gory
Spider bits every-fucking-where
Hurled right in the air
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I am to them a nightmare
Co back, stop running!
So what if you despair?
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Soon it will all end
Stop fleeing my "friends"
What a wonderful ti
So damn fun it is to Climb!
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After a long acapella karaoke session, all spiders in the surroundings were gone. There was also lots of random loot scattered all over the place. Josh Diligently picked it all up for he was currently very broke.
Every E-Rank piece he would grab putting a smile on his face. This Floor was the one that dropped the spider leg weapons. Surprisingly there weren't only swords, but daggers and spears too.
Josh had actually cut so many spider legs during the fight. What was 8 multiplied by countless? The answer was shitload! He couldn't help but daydream about how rich he would have been if every single one had ant a weapon.
There were also materials but he ignored that for he already had his hands full. For now, he simply dropped everything on the ground before slightly burying it in. He wasn't trying to hide it but just wanted to make sure it didn't get mistakenly dragged away by so spider walking on it.
Then Josh drew a big X on it, pirate map style, satisfyingly nodding while observing his handiwork. For so reason, the portals had seemingly stopped working. This wouldn't be much of an issue as there were still other areas to kindly "visit".
Thus Josh simply started singing once more. The very kind of singing that would have terrified anyone spectating for sure.
First, there was the fact that he was entirely covered in blue spider blood looking like so kind of hellish smur-… The giant malevolent smile adorning his face didn't help either. The monsters running away from him from ti to ti only reinforced that image. Maybe one day monsters would vanish on sight from his re presence.
Second, the scene itself with the spiders flooding the ground, the trees, and the webs in the sky would have chilled any sane person's marrow. The way they kept trying to devour Josh while jumping from place to place with their disgusting hairy bodies intensified the dread. How many humans profoundly feared spiders?
Third, Josh was tone-deaf. This point was actually the scariest one. It wasn't the kind of singing that made girls chuckle and give understanding smiles. Not at all! It was the kind that could sohow penetrate one's very soul. He could be singing a love song and have the audience fearing for their lives. Yes, it was that bad!
Plus, the more Josh kept going and the more annoyed he was getting. After all, the whole reason he had even started that whole thing was to hopefully summon the Boss. Josh would definitely complain to the Tower Protocol!
Still, if he wanted to et it he'd have to restart the Floor and complete the mission. Only then would it appear for sure. Josh felt that his luck was about to turn and that he'd better keep going.
Humans often have a particular approach toward luck. After rain cos sunshine, right? At least that's how it is supposed to go. In reality, probabilities are cold and unfeeling and will not favor one outco no matter the past. Probabilities are unfair and can rely be understood but never controlled (well, except by cheating).
Josh kept exterminating the spiders. At one point he tried to pray to the RNGod. At one point he tried getting his Godly Rat out feeling that anything "godly" should be lucky. At one point Josh started fighting naked while screaming "System, see how pitiful I am! Just let get that one Boss to spawn! Pretty please!" All of it failed with the rat not even bothering to move until recalled.
Josh lost count of ti. All he knew was that his lifespan showed 32 days. At first, he couldn't help but be surprised that it had only been three days, but then he realized it. Spending ti in the Tower gave lifespan up to a limit per Floor. He had actually gained so then lost it back.
It had been a few days for sure and pretty much all the monsters had been cleaned up already. Josh was starting to get hungry and also sleepy. The point is, this RNG event was bullshit!
But then Josh cald down. There was no use getting angry right now. Instead, he simply found so more spiders in a remote corner of the forest he had previously overlooked. He then made the poor creatures suffer the sa fate as the ones he was currently using as shoes.
He made sure not to kill them as they would otherwise disappear. No, Josh tied them to a web neatly. In front of him appeared a very cool creation that would have made many restless.
You've heard of a mattress, you've heard of a water bed, but have you ever heard of a spider bed? It sounds squirmy at first, but not really when you cut all their limbs first. Sure they still try to wriggle their bodies, but that's what the rope (read web) is for.
Josh laid himself on the soft hairy bed, contentedly closing his eyes in satisfaction. He slowly fell into a peaceful slumber with a slight smile on his face as he rembered a scene from his past.
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He could see her small face as she looked at him while snuggly lying under her pink worn covers, getting ready for bedti. As any kid her age, she was cute, innocent-looking, and small. But right at this mont, the small human youngling was showing a serious expression while frowning.
"Say, Josh. I have sothing important to ask you…"
Would it sohow be another question not befitting her age?
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(Spider-bed)
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