The warm shower caressed my skin after a long day… or maybe long years of pain and torture I had gone through. After my mom's death, I didn't have enough money to pay for the electricity bill with my mom's savings and so money I got from the local governnt monthly, so I couldn't use the heater for my shower.
Even during winter, I couldn't take a hot shower because the bill would be too much for , and I wouldn't be able to eat.
So I would go to school without taking a shower sotis.
I closed my eyes while thinking about the terrible things they had done to in the past, including how they targeted . I wondered if there was any cause in the first place.
So my mory returned to the first tiline when I knew nothing. I listed the reason that caused them to bully .
First, I was the new kid who knew nothing about my environnt. I had a few friends in my middle school, but most of them were just casual friends. But in this new town, I knew no one, not even my neighbor. I knew Chrissy in the previous tiline because my mom tried to introduce us to each other when we'd just arrived here.
Second, I tried to stick out. My dad's abusive behavior had so terribly traumatized that I couldn't even look at n in the sa way.
I still rember the pain he inflicted on my body, the bruises covering and he hit often because he said I was 'stupid and ugly' like my mother.
—
"If you weren't ugly like your mother, maybe I could sell you off for extra money, but who would want trash like you?"
—
Even though it might be his alcohol-fueled ramblings, his words hit in my deepest conscience. It planted insecurity deep inside my mind. The insecurity developed into a mindset that… if I didn't stick out and beco popular, everyone would despise .
So I tried to seek attention, hoping so people would notice and befriend . But I was wrong.
Yes, they noticed …
And they made fun of , like an involuntary clown, to fill their free ti with so fun and gas of roasting the piggy.
Third, I didn't have the guts to tell those wretched bullies to back off. I wasn't courageous enough, so I enabled them to keep bullying until I lost all social standing and beca a bottom feeder.
So I learned my lesson, I wouldn't be an idiot who fell into the sa hole twice. I learned not to be a naive girl who thought everyone would want to befriend her.
I learned to be low-key until I got the right ti to strike.
And lastly, about boys…
Yes, I had a crush on Mason in the previous tiline, and I still had the sa crush on him right now.
But I reckon it wasn't worth it. Because I was just another random girl who fell in love with him.
"Honestly, what's the point of having a boyfriend anyway?" I shrugged.
"High school is already difficult, and to add a random horny, sloppy creature in my life, that would be just plain stupid."
"Besides, most of them only see from the neck under…."
I bit my lip when I rembered how their lecherous eyes stared at my boobs and ass. They didn't even feel ashad to do that.
It was too disgusting for to recall, so I shook my head and steeled my will.
"I will never get a boyfriend unless that man is useful enough for . I don't need a sloppy, useless guy who only dates because of my body."
"Emlyn Jones, there will be no handso knight in shining armor to save you. Nobody saved you in the past. Do you think things will change now? You only have yourself to rely on. So keep that in mind and be strong for yourself.."
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