She watched as Hairan staggered into the room, his presence announced long before he fully crossed the threshold. His movents were uncoordinated, his steps uneven and heavy, each one echoing loudly against the floor. It was the kind of noise that could have roused even the deepest sleeper, let alone soone already lying awake in anticipation.
Elka’s grip tightened around the sheets, her fingers curling into the fabric until her knuckles paled. Her heart thudded violently against her ribs as he moved further inside. By now, he should have noticed her presence but the copious amount of alcohol he had consud must have dulled both his senses and his awareness.
Ti stretched thin, each second dragging endlessly into the next.
Then, at last, he approached the bed.
The mont he drew near, Elka braced herself, her body going rigid beneath the covers as she prepared for his reaction. She did not rember when she had squeezed her eyes shut so tightly, only that she held them that way now, as though it might sohow shield her from whatever ca next.
He might send her away for daring to enter his chambers uninvited. Worse, he might react with anger. Violence was not entirely beyond him.
Her thoughts spiraled, but she had no ti to retreat now.
The mattress dipped suddenly beside her.
Her eyes flew open.
Hairan sat at the edge of the bed. His gaze was fixed on her, as though she were sothing complex, sothing unfamiliar—a puzzle he could not quite piece together.
"Why are you in my chambers?"
His words were slurred yet his voice remained low. There was no sharp edge to it, no imdiate anger. It was, in fact, the calst he had ever spoken to her. There was no disdain in his expression, no cold dismissal as though she were beneath him.
Instead, there was confusion.
Elka exhaled slowly, releasing a fraction of the tension that had been coiled tight in her chest. It did little to ease the rigid stiffness of her body, but at least she could breathe again.
"I— I—" The words caught in her throat. How could she possibly explain this? How could she put into words the chain of decisions that had led her here, lying naked beneath his covers?
She swallowed, forcing down the tight knot in her throat. "I know that you don’t like ... or even want this marriage but I thought..."
Her words faltered as his gaze drifted downward, settling on her bare shoulders where the covers had slipped just enough to expose her skin.
Her fingers trembled again.
Surely, he knew. Surely, he could tell that she was completely naked.
"You thought what?" he prompted. His eyes returned to her face, studying her with an intensity that made her feel as though he could see straight through her, straight into the secrets she kept buried.
She did not know how to respond to this version of him. This man who was not scowling, not looking at her with open contempt.
"I thought..." She drew in a breath. "If we spent ti together... we might find so sort of middle ground. Perhaps even sothing we could both agree on."
The words ca out smoother than she expected, and for a fleeting mont, a flicker of pride stirred within her. It was no small feat, managing a complete sentence without faltering under his gaze.
The corner of Hairan’s lips curved into a faint smirk. It was not cruel or mocking. Simply amused.
"Finding middle ground," he repeated, the smirk still on his lips. "Is that what you noble won call situations like these?"
She stiffened as he reached toward her, her breath catching sharply in her throat. She thought he ant to touch her face but instead his hands settled on the covers she clutched so tightly to herself and he pulled them down.
She did not resist.
Cool air brushed against her exposed skin, raising a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Even as she lay there, fully revealed beneath his gaze, she fought the instinct to cover herself, to shield her body from his scrutiny. Her hands remained where they were, though her fingers curled tighter into the sheets beneath her.
"You’re trembling," he observed.
She had not been fully aware of it until he pointed it out, but now it was impossible to ignore, the faint, persistent tremor running through her limbs.
"It’s cold," she replied, her voice quieter now, though she did not look away from him.
"Then you should have stayed in your chambers where it is warr." he said.
For a brief mont, she was convinced he would rise and leave her there, dismissing her just as he always had.
But he didn’t move from his spot. Instead, he reached for her again. This ti, his touch found her skin.
His thumb brushed lightly along her jaw. The touch could have been mistaken for sothing gentle, sothing tender, if she did not know him as she did.
Hairan was not a man capable of tenderness.
She forced herself to remain guarded, even as his touch drifted lower, tracing the line of her collarbone before moving further still. When his fingers brushed against her breast, grazing lightly against her nipple, her nerves were set alight.
A flicker of heat spread through her.
He did not stop there. His hands moved further, exploring, as though mapping unfamiliar territory. And through it all, she did not resist or bother rejecting his touch.
Why would she? This was what she had planned. This was what she had wanted.
And yet the experience was hollow.
Her body responded to his touch, but it was nothing like the sordid stories she had overheard from her maids. There was no overwhelming pull, no consuming heat that blurred the edges of thought and reason. She liked it just fine this way. She would hate to get carried away and forget who it was that was touching her.
She shifted slightly, pushing herself up on the bed, and he leaned in to et her halfway.
For a brief mont, their faces hovered close, breath mingling in the narrow space between them.
Then his lips t hers. It was the first ti he had ever kissed her. She could sll the sweet scent of fae wine on his breath, and she could taste it faintly on his lips, lingering with every press of his mouth against hers.
His hands never stopped exploring her body and with each slow stroke of her flesh, she felt herself retreating further inward, her thoughts drifting away as though carried by a distant tide. Bit by bit, she dissociated from the mont until her mind and body felt entirely separate.
She watched in silence as he undressed, though it felt as if she were no longer truly present in the room. Her body lay there, perfectly still, yielding to whatever he chose to do with her. He had not been cruel to her tonight when she had made herself so vulnerable and for that reason alone, she was relieved.
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