Charis
The next morning, I was up early, desperate to clear my head and escape the suffocating atmosphere of my room and my thoughts.
The anti-heat suppression pills had helped throughout the night, but I couldn’t sleep. So, this morning, I decided to go for a run, hoping the physical activity would help process everything that had happened.
On the running path behind the pack house, I spotted Rhett sitting alone on a bench, lost in deep thought. He looked up imdiately when he saw , and our eyes t across the distance.
"You’re up early," he murmured, motioning for to co sit beside him.
I hesitated for a mont, then walked over and settled on the bench, leaving so space between us.
We sat in quiet for a while, both of us watching the early morning mist rise from the ground. Finally, he broke the silence.
"I would have understood, Charis," he said softly. "If you had told the truth from the beginning, I swear I would have understood. What hurts is that you led on all this ti, making think I mattered to you as much as you matter to ."
His voice was quiet but filled with pain.
"I liked you as Eamon," he continued. "It would have been so much easier to like you as Charis. At least then I wouldn’t have spent weeks questioning my own sexuality."
"Rhett, I’m so sorry," I said, tears gathering in my eyes. "You have no idea how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you, any of you. I was trying to survive and to stay hidden from my father."
"I know that now," he replied. "But it doesn’t make the deception hurt any less."
"You’re right to be angry with ," I admitted. "I made choices that affected all of you without considering how it would feel to be lied to. I was selfish, but I didn’t think I would make friends when I ca here. All my life, I’ve navigated through any difficulty by myself. The concept of teamwork is strange to ."
"You were scared," Rhett corrected gently. "I understand that, but after we’ve all beco friends, you would have opened up, and we would have protected you better. Friendship requires trust, and you didn’t trust enough to be honest."
"I was afraid," I whispered. "Afraid that if anyone knew the truth, the word would get back to my father sohow. I was also afraid that the kindness would stop and you’d all see differently."
"I do see you differently now," Rhett said. "But it’s not from a place of unkindness or maybe an easy person to prey on in any ramification. Now, I want to protect you more. I want to be there for you without you having to ask. I want to shield you from the world, and maybe that’s not entirely a bad thing."
Before I could respond, I noticed Kael jogging back down the path toward us. Rhett followed my gaze and murmured, "Don’t get on his nerves. He’s not in a good mood."
I nodded. "No problem."
When Kael ca close to where we were sitting, I imdiately called out his na with what I hoped was a friendly smile.
"Kael! Good morning!"
But Kael completely ignored , moving to pack up the water bottle and towel he had left at the foot of the bench earlier. His movents were jerky and dismissive, as if he didn’t want any form of interaction.
Did he know?
I turned to Rhett and whispered. "Does Kael know?"
Rhett shrugged. "I didn’t tell him anything, or maybe he figured it out from our conversation last night."
I got up and followed after him, trying to salvage what was left in our friendship.
"Kael, can we talk? I know you’re upset, but—"
He spun around suddenly, his eyes flashing with anger.
"Don’t co near ," he snapped. "And starting today, you’re not staying in my room anymore. Find sowhere else to sleep."
His words made pause mid-walk. "Kael, please, let explain—"
"Explain what?" he demanded. "I should have listened to my instincts from the get-go. You’re nothing but trouble, and I don’t want to be associated with you anymore."
"Hey man," Rhett said behind . "Give him a break, he didn’t an to..."
"Listen, Eamon," Kael drew closer to ; his eyes burned with fury. "This is wrong, what I feel for you is wrong, and I don’t want to be the person I was yesterday. I don’t want to feel this way about you, so please, help ..."
"What?" I scrunched my brows. "You’re letting go because of your feelings for ?"
"Yes!" he retorted, "What else do you think it was?"
He didn’t know. He still thought I was a boy. I felt a twinge of disappointnt at that realisation, wishing he’d find out and save the emotional stress of having to confess my real identity.
"Tell , how can I make it up to you?"
"Make it up to ?" he scoffed. "You don’t understand, Eamon. This is my problem. I was in bed kissing you with another man also there with you. I can’t... I feel so ashad of myself, so degraded that I allowed my emotions to drag into thinking things like this were normal. I am supposed to be attracted to girls and not..." he trailed off.
"I’m done here," he resud. "I’m going to kill my feelings for you, and that’s final. When we return to school, I’ll send your belongings to your brother’s dorm. Do well and stay away from my life."
I stood there speechless as he turned and jogged away.
Rhett ca up behind and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Give him ti," he said quietly. "Kael is a perfectionist who hates it when his life goes out of balance and not according to how he wants. He’s still trying to process these feelings for you, and the easiest way to put him out of his misery is by confessing."
"What if he never forgives ?" I asked, watching Kael’s figure disappear around a bend in the path.
"Then you’ll have to live with that," Rhett replied honestly. "But maybe losing our trust will teach you sothing about the real cost of deception."
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