Emt:
"Do you want to co ho?" Maximus asked on the call.
It had been a few hours since Helanie left with her mother. I hadn’t been able to fully co to terms with the fact that I blew it all up. I had co ho after last night, locked myself in my room, and started drinking.
Azura knocked on the door a few tis, but I didn’t respond. Just the thought of Azura being happy that Helanie was out of the way angered . I didn’t want to see her face. I didn’t want her to have the satisfaction that just because Helanie was gone, she got to be with now.
"No, I cannot," I said, holding a bottle in my hand, "It’s okay, Maximus. You can bla for her leaving," I said, taking steady breaths.
"I’m not blaming you. I’m not accusing anyone. But I just want to remind you that the sole reason behind Helanie leaving is our mother. I know, I know, you always want to look into factual things. You always want solid facts. But let’s not forget, our mother isn’t completely innocent either. And I know Helanie’s mother has done so fucked-up things, but that was only to our mother. And the way she did it– I don’t know. If Helanie trusts her, I trust her."
I smiled at my brother. He was all grown up now, he was so confident, and now it seed like he was also independent. He was making decisions without being influenced, and that was admirable.
But sadly, I could not be given the sa luxury.
"I appreciate it, Maximus. You standing on her side, you giving a chance to return. But there are so things that you will not understand. There are so things that I don’t understand about myself. So I need a mont to relax and understand what I’m doing. But don’t worry, I’ll stay in contact," I said, reassuring him that just because Helanie was gone didn’t an I would cut my ties with him.
"You’re my little brother, and I love you a lot," I reminded him.
I heard him crack a little laugh, more like a laugh of relief. But I knew we were all dying inside. Helanie leaving us had left us in such a daze that we couldn’t heal from it.
"How is Norman?" I asked.
"I don’t know, man. He’s a ss. He won’t talk to any of us. He’s just standing in the backyard, probably thinking she’ll return," I heard Maximus’s voice crack a little, and it cracked my heart too.
It was all because of . Even if he didn’t believe it, it was all because of .
"Anyway, I’ll go take care of Dad. He’s not holding up well either. He’s not saying anything. So I don’t know if he’s upset that she didn’t tell him the truth or if he’s upset that she didn’t wait for him and left. I don’t know. It’s just like everyone is broken. And then there’s Charlotte’s mother. She’s missing. So that’s another issue. We need you here, brother. We really need you," Maximus said.
The tiredness in his voice made wonder if Norman had not been able to be fully present for them. And I understood. I didn’t bla him.
"Okay. I’ll be coming back. Just give a few days," I said, giving up on my ego and deciding to return.
I couldn’t just sit in the chair and expect everyone to believe that there were loose ends I needed to tie before accepting any bla. I needed to go back and put in the work, now more than ever.
"Thank you so much," Maximus said as he ended the call.
And that was when Azura knocked on the door again.
"What is it, Azura? I told you to leave alone for so ti," I yelled, annoyed.
I never lose my patience, but sotis she really pushes my buttons. It was strange that I used to feel so guilty about her dying, and missed her so much, to the point that now that she’s alive, I feel like I cannot breathe in her presence.
And then there is Helanie. She is in my head, in my heart, in my vision. Everywhere I look, it’s just Helanie and Helanie.
"I just wanted to say that your brother is here to see you," she voiced ekly from the other side, and I grew attentive.
"What? Let him in." I got up quickly, put the bottles aside, and rushed to the door.
"Norman—" As soon as I opened the door and said that, I stopped speaking. It was Kaye. He rushed in while Azura tried to sneak a look at us.
Kaye did not look like he had co for a rendezvous. His face was sweaty in winter, even though he was wearing a thin black shirt.
"Kaye, what’s going on?" I asked him, trying to close the door when Azura stepped in.
"Is everything okay? Does he need sothing?" she asked, her eyes moving too quickly, as if she were trying to gather as much information about Kaye’s situation as she could.
"Azura, it’s fine. I’ll deal with him," I said, placing my hand on the door fra, subtly blocking her way in.
She noticed my hand, then raised her eyes to . There were so many questions and complaints.
"Please," I said, trying to sound gentler.
"Okay," she said, stepping back so I could close the door.
I closed the door quickly so she wouldn’t see what we were doing, then turned to Kaye. I already knew he was here for sothing urgent from his body language. Kaye is usually still and stiff, so the way he was anxiously rubbing his palms, his neck, and then his face told it was very serious.
"What is it?" I asked, and he began to point at his neck.
"This thing, this tattoo," he said, stuttering, leaving space in every sentence, in every word he spoke.
"Yeah, you got it last year," I said, and he began to shake his head.
"No, I did not." I felt the weight of his words right into my heart from the way he spoke up.
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