The Gilded Horns' kitchen is a whirlwind, as always. In under five minutes, our order lands—double the usual, aning, six massive Filoan drumsticks for each of us! The pile of food overflows our table, forcing us to drag another one over to make a double to contain it all.
The drumsticks glisten under the lamplight, their charred, crispy skin crackling with heat, dripping with savory juices. Each one looks like it was carved from a god's banquet, thick and heavy and begging to be devoured. My mouth waters. My stomach roars. It's torture in the best way.
Eris lunges first, snatching one by the bone, her grin wide and wild with hunger. I grab mine too, then imdiately yelp as the heat scorches my fingers.
"Ouch!" I fumble for a napkin, wrapping the bone like it's molten iron.
"Cheers!" Eris grins, raising her drumstick high like a champion's blade.
"CHEERS!" I echo, mirroring her energy.
Boop!
Our drumsticks clink together in a aty toast of victory.
"Let's go! NOM!" Eris roars before sinking her teeth in. She tears off a massive chunk and chews like a predator.
I don't hold back either. CHOMP! I take the biggest bite I can. The crispy skin cracks beneath my bite, and hot juice explodes in my mouth. The at is absurdly tender, falling apart like butter on my tongue.
I chew and chew, nom nom nom, however…
"NOOOOOOO!" I wail, dropping the drumstick onto my plate. "I can't taste it!"
Oh god…
My soul's damage has dulled my senses—my taste is barely 30% of what it was! The drumstick, ant to burst with flavor, now tastes like… nothing. It's bland, like chewing paper. And now that I think about it, I can't even sll the savory aroma either.
Huhuu…
I slump, shaking with disappointnt, my hands trembling around the drumstick.
"Oh no…" Eris's chewing slows. She swallows, eyes full of sympathy.
I'm screwed…
I'm so screwed!
Without my sense of taste… how the hell can I enjoy food now?
This is the worse thing ever!
But then, suddenly Eris' expression shifts. Her eyes spark.
"Wait! What if we drown it in spice? Your senses are just dulled, it's not totally lost, right?"
"OH RIGHT!" My eyes imdiately light up as hope sparkles inside my chest. "ERIS! You're a genius!"
Yeah, if anything, spice could save this!
If not…
I can just add more spices!
So, we flag Lilly down with frantic waving, and she returns monts later with enough spice to summon a fire elental! The table soon looks like a battlefield of condints, with bottles and jars and powder of scary colors lying around. There are pepper grinders, chili flakes, smoked papriko fruits, even a mysterious jar marked only with a red skull!
The other tavern patrons gawk, their eyes wide as saucers.
I'm a bit embarrassed, but whatever! For the sake of food, I'll do what I must!
And thus, I attack the drumstick like a mad alchemist. Sauce after sauce, dusting after dusting. By the ti I'm done, the at is unrecognizable. It's red, it's angry, glowing like a monstrosity.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and lean in for a cautious bite.
Crunch.
The heat hits first, a fiery kick that makes my tongue tingle. It's… better! Not perfect, but the spice gives it sothing.
And with that, I keep going, piling on more hot sauce—bottle after bottle—until it's less like eating Filoan bird and more like chomping bird-flavored lava.
"Thank the gods for spice," I mumble between bites, my lips burning but my heart a little lighter.
Eris laughs, shaking her head as she munches her own drumstick, untouched by my condint chaos.
We also devour heaps of dessert—several glasses of milkshakes and a massive pie. Of course, I can't really taste the sweetness, so I end up dumping a ton of sugar on everything.
———————————
Yeah, eating was a blast. I stuffed my face with drumsticks and drowned myself in so much sugary desserts. My belly's now full, and I'm content, sprawled out in the tavern room with Eris.
But a couple of hours later… disaster strikes.
In the most unexpected way…
"NOOOOO! AAAAH!" I wail, face buried in the pillow, tears streaming. My body shakes as I clutch the bedsheets, while Eris rolls on the floor, laughing, snorting so hard she's practically choking.
That is because, for so dumb fuck reason, while my sense of taste and sll are very dulled now…
My sense of pain DID NOT get affected!
And as a result…
I'M NOW HAVING THE MOST PAINFUL BUTTHOLE IN THE UNIVERSE!
Yeah! Thanks to all of the hot sauce I put on the drumsticks, I'm so fucked now! My butthole is now burning, hurting like there's a hot damn volcano inside it!
Especially when I took a doo doo earlier… my shit were so red and they seared my ass like hot lava!
"Alright, pull your pants down! Ti to administer the cream!" Eris wheezes, still giggling as she holds up a small jar of soothing cream. She had dashed to the nearby clinic to grab it—a cool, green goop made from so mystery herb, sli powder, and Vanessa Lilies extract for extra chill.
"Huuu…" I whimper, my face flaming with embarrassnt. But I've got no choice. I tug my pants down, angling my backside toward Eris, feeling like I'm about to die of sha.
"Oh my!" Eris's face turns beet red the second she sees my bare cheeks.
"What?" I snap, twisting to glare at her. "Why're you making that face?!"
"Haha! Your ass hole is so red now!" she cackles, collapsing into another fit of laughter, nearly rolling off the bed as tears stream down her face.
"HEY!" I yell, my own tears welling up, mortified.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry!" Eris gasps, pulling herself together. "I'm gonna put the cream on now. It'll cool you right down, promise!"
"P-please!" I beg, my voice small.
Eris dips a finger into the jar, the green cream glistening like so magical salve.
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