"Eris! Eris!!!" I shout, waving frantically as Inky begins to descend toward the battlefield.
She turns, beaming up at .
Her grin is radiant—triumphant, wild, and full of that untad pride only she could wear so naturally. She's absolutely covered in gore. Spider blood, black and sticky, clings to her skin and clothes in thick sars. Bits of chitin, severed legs, and unidentifiable guts hang off her like grim trophies.
And yet sohow…
She still looks beautiful.
No, even more beautiful than usual in my eyes.
Like a goddess… she's gorgeous.
Except… the sll hits .
Oh gods.
"EUUUGGGHHH!!!"
The stench is like rotting at boiled in acid and then left in a sealed barrel for a year.
Worse than sleimfisch for sure!
I gag. Nearly throw up on the spot. But I manage, barely, to hold it in.
Inky lands gently.
I slide off his back… almost… and imdiately freeze.
Oh fuck…
There's no clean spot on the ground.
None.
Not a single one!
Everything is soaked in thick, dark sli. The snow beneath us is no longer snow—it's a battlefield painted black.
I glance down, my boots hovering above the ss, hesitating.
But… there's no way around it.
So… with the most disgusted whimper in existence, I step down.
SQUELCH.
"Ewwwwwwwwww…"
Whatever's under my boots, it's not just blood. It's not even liquid anymore! It's more like… congealed spider guts mixed with rotten syrup. It's thick, it's sticky, it's slippery, and it sll like shit.
I instantly regret existing.
"E-Eris… EUGGHH!" I gag, trying not to breathe through my nose. "A-are you okay? Did you get hurt anywhere?"
"Hmmm, nope," she hums, flicking a piece of spider organ off her shoulder with her middle finger. "But that aside…"
She suddenly flashes a grin.
"I may need sothing from you right now."
"Ehh??" I blink, confused. "Sothing… from ?"
I wonder
What does Eris need?
She then takes a step closer. Her eyes narrow. Her fangs peek out from her grin.
"Yeah…" she purrs. "Sothing only you can give . Yup. Can you help , Felicia? I really need your help!"
Huh?
Only… ?
O-oh!
"OOOOOH!!" I beam, lighting up. "A-alright! What is it?! Tell !"
Well, I have no idea what the hell she wants, but regardless, I'm excited!
Finally, sothing I can do! Sothing important! Sothing useful!
However…
Wait…
Wait a minute!
That look on her face…
That smile.
Those eyes….
The way she's stalking toward slowly and dripping black goop off every finger…
I suddenly have a very, very bad feeling about this.
"E-Eris???" I mutter, worriedly…
Suddenly—
Just as I feared—
"A HUUUUUG~!!!" Eris shouts gleefully, throwing her arms wide open like a horror movie monster!!!
"AAAAAAAHHHH!! NOOOO!!! NOOOOO!!!" I scream, turning tail and sprinting away across the gore-soaked field.
SQUELCH. SQUELCH.
FUCKKKKKK!
This goop and ss is getting in my way!!!
"BAHAHAHAHA!!!" Eris bursts out laughing, boots sloshing through blood as she gives chase. "Co on, give your girlfriend a hug!"
"AAAA!!! SHOOO! SHOO!!! GO AWAY!!!"
I try to run away.
But she's fast.
She's too fast!
"S-STAY BACK YOU FILTHY MONSTER!!!" I shriek, dodging a half spider corpse, weaving between limbs and steaming puddles of ichor.
But then, I see it too late.—
Ah…
So motherfucking spider leg is in my path for so stupid reason.
My boot hits it.
I trip.
Oh — Fuck …
PLOOOOOSSH!!!
Face-first, straight into a puddle of spider intestines.
—————————————————-
Monts later…
"EUUUGGHHHH!!!"
"UEEHHHH—UEAAAGHTGHHH!!@#!@#!!!"
I'm bent over, retching violently, the world spinning around in nauseating loops. My throat burns. My stomach twists.
Holy fuck…
Spider intestines taste like shit.
And to make things worse?
I'm drenched in it.
Sticky black goop clings to every inch of —my hair, my coat, my boots. It slls like sothing that's died twice and fernted under a sunless sky. Even though we're so far away from the battlefield now, the stench still haunts , like a malevolent ghost clinging to my soul.
Beside , Eris hums cheerfully.
"You know," she says, casually, "spiders are actually pretty tasty if you cook them right. When deep fried, they get really crunchy! Kinda like shrimp! Delicious!!"
"EUUUGHHHHHH—!!"
I double over and vomit again. My eyes are watering. I might actually be crying.
"LIKE HELL I BELIEVE THAT!!!"
Eris winces slightly at my rainbow vomit.
"Alright, alright—I'm sorry. That was an." She pats my back, trying to comfort while still grinning way too much. "Here. Let fix it."
She reaches into her bag and starts rummaging.
"Wh-what wicked thing are you planning now…?" I ask, eyeing her with pure, unfiltered suspicion. My soul has not recovered from her last 'idea.'
Eventually, she pulls out a small scroll etched with silvery runes.
"It's a cleansing scroll," Eris explains. "Very high-level stuff. Should get rid of all the filth and the sll."
My ears perk up instantly.
"Oooooohhhh!!!" Hope flares in my chest. "Y-you an… like a bath?! A magic bath?!"
She nods. "Exactly. You'll feel squeaky clean."
Alright.
If this works, I might actually forgive her for everything!
Still… I squint at the scroll as she unrolls it.
"How does it work?"
I wonder.
Will it rain down bathwater on us?
Or produce magical soap?
Or bubble shower?
Or a beam of light from heaven so holy that purifies sin and stink?
"You'll see!" Eris smiles. "Ready?"
"Nn!"
She opens the scroll, and imdiately, it glows like a blue light bulb. And then—
BLOOP!!!
A giant shimring bubble pops out, easily large enough to fit a person inside. The mont it appears, the air changes. It's now fresh, crisp, minty, with the faintest trace of lavender and sothing like… citrus?
Sniff sniff…
I sniffle the bubble.
Ahhhh~~~!
After all that spider stench.
The bubble slls nice!
It slls like paradise!
However…
I stare, wide-eyed. "
…Ermm. What do I do with it? I an… how do we use it?"
"Just take a deep breath and walk in," Eris says.
"Ooooh!!!" I beam.
Still… I'm very skeptical.
"A-alright, you go first!"
"Okay!"
Eris giggles, puffs out her cheeks dramatically, inhales deep, then leaps into the bubble.
PLOP!
She floats for sothing like twenty seconds.
The entire bubble darkens. The filth is drawn right off her like ink dissolving in water.
After that, as she steps out, her whole body is now glowing, gleaming!
Not even a speck of dirt left on her!
Her hair shines. Her skin sparkles!
And her smile? Smug as hell...
"See? Told you I wasn't tricking you!" she winks.
I gasp. "W-WHAAAAT?!"
I spin around to look at her from every angle.
She's clean.
Like, perfectly clean!!!
"A-Alright! My turn!!!" I say, without a second thought.
"Okay!" Eris summon another bubble.
I puff my cheeks. Hold my breath.
And then— JUMP!!!
Ooooh!!!
Blub blub blub blub
I float, feeling like a gold fish in a globe tank.
The water… it's a amazing! It's warm, silky. And then, a gentle pull tugs at every inch of , and within seconds, I feel the filth being yanked away, the gunk and stink stripped off like a curse being lifted.
And then—
FWOOSH.
I step out, blinking in awe.
"Pwuahhh!" I inhale deeply, breathing in the fresh air.
And there, on the other side, Eris ets with an approving grin.
"Welco back, clean and sparkly Felicia!"
I twirl, admiring myself. My clothes are spotless. My boots shine. Even my hair fluffs out like a freshly grood cat!
I gasp, beaming, tail swishing proudly. ""Oh yeah! I'm back, baby!"
A new, clean, beautiful Felicia!
So clean, it's like I never faceplanted into a pile of disgusting spider guts to begin with.
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