Interlude 3
I Find Myself Conscious Of It
Returning to the apartnt from the drugstore, I ward up and ate the dinner I had left at his place yesterday.
After a late dinner, we set up so counterasures again in my room.
“Okay, I’ve taken asures at all the suspicious places. For the ones that involve burning sothing, it’s dangerous, so be sure to stay outside while it’s burning.”
“This will save humanity. Thank you, Yuunagi-kun!”
“That’s an exaggeration.”
“It’s a great feat to .”
“Then, good night. See you on Monday.”
I honestly feel relieved when he leaves.
Having a man in my room was a first in my life, so I didn’t know what to do.
Plus, I think I was more useless than usual because of the G.
No, not ‘I think’, it definitely didn’t go as usual.
“No good, the more I try to think about it clearly, the more I find myself depending on him.”
I already asked him to cook on weekdays, and today I even left the G counterasures and light bulb changing to him.
He’s covering for the parts I’m missing.
“This is bad. It’s almost like dependence.”
Now, my life can’t go on without his support.
Lately, I’ve been feeling different kinds of excitent too.
Even after the awkward atmosphere due to Yuunagi-kun making a morning call to Kuhouin-san, he rushed to help in my pinch.
I felt my heart race for the first ti when I touched soone of the opposite sex.
It was much sturdier than I imagined, completely different from a woman’s body, making conscious of it.
Still, until this point, I could have excused it as an ergency situation where I wasn’t calm.
But what really did in was what he said on the way to the drugstore.
『…The woman I interact with the most is Tenjō-sensei, you know?』
“What does that even an! Don’t play around with adults too much!”
I take my frustration out on my body pillow.
I completely self-destructed by acting pretentious.
“You don’t understand my worries! Seriously!”
Even in his room, I try to act cool to not show my nervousness, but before I know it, I end up revealing my true self.
At school too, he sits so close to that if I’m not careful, I feel like I can’t maintain my teacher mode.
Today, I couldn’t properly focus on my work, being so conscious of him staring at !
Yuunagi Nishiki’s presence shakes more than I thought.
Worst of all, there’s a part of that’s happy to be spoken to like that.
I’m at a loss about how to handle these unfamiliar feelings.
Following the advice about contact frequency that my best friend gave , the answer seems clear.
──Could this be the beginning of a forbidden love!?
“（Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!）”
I let out a voiceless cry while hugging my pillow.
What, that’s impossible. In so many ways.
No, Reiyu Tenjō! He’s younger than you and a minor. He’s soone you shouldn’t fall in love with!
No matter how much I try to put the brakes on in my head, the intensity in my chest doesn’t subside.
Feeling suffocated, I lift my face.
I mustn’t admit it. I have a feeling that if I do, a complete collapse will ensue.
I naturally try to suppress my smiling lips with both hands.
I let go of my hands.
Still, my feelings are restless, and my expression softens.
The first ti we walked together at night, it felt fresh and simply fun.
“No, what am I thinking, enjoying this!?”
Every ti, after parting with him, I hold a solo reflection session, but the situation never improves.
It’s only getting worse.
“I thought I could manage everything if we had the Neighbor Agreent, but…”
Living next to each other in the sa apartnt, it’s almost like a semi-cohabitation life.
I thought it wouldn’t make a difference just to share als with a boy around my brother’s age.
I was completely naive.
No, even if I had thought it through, different parts of would still react sensitively.
Just incorporating a stranger into my daily life makes various controls slip away.
It should be frightening, yet unknowingly, I find myself leaning forward more and more.
“What is this relationship really about…”
I lie down on my side.
Man and woman.
Student and teacher.
Younger and older.
Neighbors.
No matter how I phrase it, it doesn’t quite fit.
Too formal to be friends, too intimate to be siblings, too much of a stretch to call it family.
A strange and peculiar comfort in this ambiguous distance.
I feel as if I am constantly oscillating between tension and relaxation.
“Can I still be your lover, even though I’m your teacher?”
A wistful soliloquy, not ant for anyone.
Even as I speak, the conclusion is clear.
It’s okay the way it is now. It’s enough.
As long as I’m playing in the shallow water, I’m sure there’s no risk of drowning.
If I try to go deeper, this comfortable relationship will disappear like bubbles.
It’s because it’s ambiguous that I can imrse myself in it.
“I’m glad tomorrow is a day off…”
If it’s a holiday, I won’t have to see him.
I should feel relieved, yet I also feel unsatisfied.
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