Aiden couldn’t express what he was feeling inside when he saw her like that. He didn’t lie —it was killing him. Every second, every mont, every ti, he realized that even with him being around, she still was suffering the pain that he had no idea about.
He wanted to know what it was that had pushed her into this state, but her silence only made it harder for him.
His jaws tightened as his careful patience began to slip. He had the world’s tolerance when it ca to her, but when she was like this ... he couldn’t hold on to it. "If you aren’t going to tell , Moon, I will find out my own way," he said, his voice low and strained, before he turned to get up from the bed.
But just as he was about to step away, Arwen’s hand shot out and grabbed his, holding him back.
He froze and turned to look at her. Their gazes locked, and his frown deepened.
She didn’t let go of him. Instead, looking straight into his eyes, she whispered, "If you want to know sothing, you can ask . You don’t have to go looking for soone else."
Aiden’s chest tightened. He slowly sat back down, lowering himself onto his knees before her, taking her trembling hand between both of his. His thumb brushed across her knuckles with aching gentleness.
"But you aren’t telling , Moon," he said, his voice breaking under the weight of his restraint. "What should I do? It’s hurting —seeing you like this. It’s —"
"Is it more than seeing not recognize you?" she cut in, her words trembling but sharp, piercing through him like a blade.
His breath caught. Her swollen eyes searched his face, as though she didn’t care about the answer he gave with words —she wanted to see it in his eyes, raw and unfiltered.
For a mont, Aiden paused. He could bring himself to understand what she ant. He stared at her, looking confused, when she read through his trouble and refrad her words to explain to him better.
"Did it hurt you the sa way when I forgot you and your complete existence from my life?"
Aiden was taken aback. He wasn’t able to process it for the first ti, but when she put it for the second ti, he couldn’t pretend like he didn’t know what she was speaking about.
"Moon, how did you —"
Arwen cut in again, shaking her head at him. "Don’t ask how, what, when, or why at this mont, husband. Just tell what I asked you for."
For a mont, Aiden couldn’t bring himself to say anything. His chest rose and fell, too heavy, too tight, as if his heart was being squeezed from all sides. Then he reached out, tightened his hold around his hand.
"It doesn’t matter, Moon. That pain is nothing in comparison to the happiness and satisfaction I felt when we still ended up together. Finding our way back to each other."
His words made tears resurface in her eyes. She didn’t hold them back. She didn’t hide them away from him. She just let them roll down her eyes.
"That still doesn’t answer my question. Please tell ... please." She begged, not because she wanted to unravel his pain, but because she wanted to know how much exactly she had hurt him. Will she ever be able to make it up to him?
Aiden stared at her face. And after a mont, he finally spoke, "It was hell," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "Every second you looked at and didn’t know , didn’t see the way you should —it tore apart. But even then, trust , I would be again willing to endure it all if that’s for you. Because you are worth it all."
Arwen could hold back any longer. Sob escaped her lips, and she hung her face down, crying bitterly.
When Aiden tried to cup her face, she leaned more into his hand, finding the solace that he always had for her ... from the very first day.
"I am sorry ... I am really sorry," she apologized in between her sobs. "You never deserved any of that, but you still have to go through it. I don’t know what I should do. I couldn’t think of anything that would help make ands. I ..." she cried, and Aiden felt his heart breaking.
"Shush ... shh— that’s fine, Moon. I don’t bla you. I never did. I —"
"Why?" Arwen asked, looking up at him. When she saw him looking at her with a gaze full of understanding, it hurt her more. "Why did you never bla ? Shouldn’t it have been better if you had? You could have been better if you had hated for what I did to you. Why didn’t you hate ? Why?"
The tears never stopped streaming down. How could it be? It wasn’t just coming for one reason.
Aiden stared at her before scooting closer to cup her face gently. Before he could say anything, she looked up at him desperately and shook her head at him.
"Please don’t hate ," she begged, tears gleaming in her gaze, blurring her vision. But she was not letting herself blink away at him. "I know I deserve to be hated. But please ... please don’t hate . I won’t be able to take your hatred. Not even the slightest of it. I —"
Before she could speak more, Aiden pressed a finger over her lips, shushing her from speaking more.
When she stopped, he finally said. "I didn’t hate you, Moon." His voice was calm and steady, as if they were ant to reassure her. "I didn’t hate you ... not even for a second because I simply couldn’t. If I did anything, I only loved you. Every mont, every second of my life ... I just loved you."
"Why?" Arwen could help but ask. "Why are you so selflessly in love with ? What did I do to deserve this?"
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