Boss Lu: A reborn life is destined to be without regrets! Chapter 545 - 370.2

This was a transaction in which I was coerced to participate.

My body is not just to please Mr. Lu and provide him with pleasure. With such ticulous care, he increased my "value," because if he wished, he could completely coerce to be enjoyed and played with by anyone else. What wealthy scion, what leader, what power broker, what boss... even if it was just those dirty workers or vile thugs who broke into my dorm room that day... this body I cherished so much, the one I once thought was most precious and belonged solely to , has now been tightly controlled by the "courteous" and "gentlemanly" Director Shi. I will never again have control over it; he sets the price, he sells, he degrades and humiliates, and uses it at will.

Sotis, it’s better if he only wants to indulge in my body. If he wants to play, let him play; if he wants to humiliate, let him humiliate; after it’s happened once, what’s the fear of it happening again? Ti and again, at least I can numb myself with this man’s obsession and demands on my body... I don’t want to admit it, but I have to face it... even if the humiliation drives mad, the pain brings despair, psychological sha amplifies imasurably, the physical pain of being violated is so real... yet, the deford sexuality still brings on distorted excitent and pleasure, and for a girl of sixteen, she no longer knows if this is a pain and joy that all girls inevitably have to experience.

I’d rather it be this way, I’d rather it be that Lu Jincheng wants to play with , wants to handle , wants to enjoy my young body. If so, I have already accepted the fate of being Lu Jincheng’s little sex slave, little toy, little pet, because that way, everything is just a small secret between and Lu Jincheng. Virginity is gone, chastity has been taken, purity has vanished, what’s left... what can I hold on to? If he likes to violate and play with , I can let him play, repeatedly play, indulgently play, cruelly play, torturously play... isn’t that just how it is, maybe I, too, can savor the forbidden pleasure, and I can gain so things I want to gain... including a sense of security born in the shadows.

At least, this Lu Jincheng, on the surface, doesn’t seem so disgusting and repulsive to her, instead, there’s an unspeakable quality of a strong person about him, which confuses her. Let it go, as Sister Jinjin said, don’t be constrained by secular views of chaste heroines; have sex with him, let him indulge, have fun with him, let him desecrate, doesn’t he still afford her many benefits?

But nothing is that simple.

The spider traps the butterfly, not just to admire the butterfly’s beauty.

Everything is an exchange, but the depth of exchange surpasses the childish and absurd fantasy of "I sleep with a man, the man gives love." Deep and cold worldly rules that fairy tales will never tell little girls.

Sotis when I think about it, the world’s rules are all such filthy transactions. However, on the surface, so do a bit of embellishnt; it looks barely tolerable and more decent, but in essence, there’s no difference. Like Coach Xu calling to co, isn’t it just "entertain" drinking? I didn’t want to, but for the "task," for the team’s benefit, didn’t I still co? Had it been in Coach Xu’s generation when they were young, I would probably have already been considered "scandalously depraved." And now, female teammates, even teenage minor girls, occasionally having a drink with the leaders, even in the sports circle, isn’t much of a big deal.

Transaction, rules, dominance. No difference. Just that man, he has a stronger hold over , more leverage, and his transaction capital is more substantial and robust, coupled with terrifying violence and coercion that he demands, it must be much more.

I exchanged for temporary safety, temporary endurance, and lived in this dreamlike daze. Under the sunlight, I can indulge in my starry dreams; the national team training roster cos out next month, there are rumors that I’m definitely in this training session; next week the filming of "Super Competition" begins its second phase, even in the studio, there are many boys and girls flocking around ; after the "Still Rendezvous" interview, even if the provincial team has repeatedly pushed back and limited my appearances, my interview schedule is already booked until the end of the year; besides the sponsorship bonuses, Wanqing Company wants alone to film a "Qin" series of teenage casual outfits, excluding what the team gets, I will receive fifteen thousand RMB, which is equivalent to half a year’s stipend as an athlete; He Xi University accepted my application for correspondence, allowing to earn credits post-retirent, potentially obtaining a university diploma...

But, is this cost ultimately worth it or not? Or, until today, she can only fearfully speculate, what will be the ultimate cost of all this? How will Lu Jincheng "use" her?

Play with ! Co handle ! I’d rather you repeatedly defile and use !

Consciousness gradually becos blurred and weak. Yet sotis, a piercing pain will wake her. Since that night of being raped by Mr. Lu, she has been caught in a struggle between restraint and frenzy. Often, nights are sleepless, and the only way to ensure sleep... surprisingly is... masturbation. Imagining various absurd scenarios, she would caress her body, explore her body, and then in the afterglow of climax, she could barely fall asleep.

Sotis, in fantasies, it’s a star, sotis a character from a novel, sotis even a superhero from a movie, sotis Jiang Ziyuan, sotis even Coach Xu, at its most disgusting, it might be so evil cartoon villain fantasy, and in these fantasy sexual scenarios, the only constant is that they are all romantic, kind, tenderly affectionate, without brutality, without coercion, without bondage or humiliation; you know, when she used to masturbate, influenced by the dia, she would also imagine so rape scenes, but now there’s none...

However, sotis, unknowingly, as climax gradually arrives at her fingertips, they all transform into Lu Jincheng’s face, and she again feels extre resistance, humiliation, and sha. Yet, this resistance, humiliation, and sha, strangely allows her to fantasize about sleeping in Lu Jincheng’s embrace.

She also used to have masturbating experiences, but now, she increasingly fears this ntal addiction. Unbelievably, after being forcibly violated by Lu Jincheng, she’s increasingly addicted to the pleasure brought by masturbation. Perhaps it’s Lu’s rape causing an indelible psychological trauma? Maybe it’s a deep-seated fear and longing for Mr. Lu to return to her body once more? It might even be a resigned emotion: since her body has been played with, humiliated, violated, dirtied by Mr. Lu, why shouldn’t she indulge in so self-provided pleasure through masturbation? What’s so shaful about that? What does masturbation even count for? Her body, which she might never have the right to control, which she can’t offer to Jiang Ziyuan, a boyfriend, or a future husband, can at least be used under the covers to bring herself thrilling pleasure and sleep, why not?

Of course, on rare nights, she will caress herself without desire. Stroking her body, as if compassionately and lovingly stroking soone else, another pure girl, another girl who hadn’t fallen into darkness, an athlete still naively dreaming of Olympics on the podium... as if she still possesses that power, to live with vibrant youth, flaunt her assets, savor romance, and yearn for intimacy.