“Thanks for telling to go.” I tell Corax as I take a seat beside him. He returns to my lap like I never left. For the first ti in a while I return to writing in my journal. Of course I can only do it for a few minutes at a ti, but it’s nice to work on it again.
Vince wakes up just after what would be sunrise. No actual light is making it into the canyon quiet yet.
“Morning Little Blue.” Vince goes straight for Cassie’s room, poking his head in for just a mont. “I need to go spread out the solar panels. Do you want to co help?”
“No. I think Cassie and Ivy will need soone to take care of them when they wake up.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” Vince grabs a jar full of dried food and fills a second jar with water. “I’ll be right outside the town. Co get if you need anything.”
“Ok, I will.”
It’s not until after noon that Ivy leaves her room.
“Do you need any help?” I ask quietly. I’m sure she has an awful headache and don’t want to make it worse.
“I can manage.” Ivy shuffles her way to the kitchen and grabs way more water then she could ever drink, along with a few jars of food.
“Ok. Just let know if either of you need anything.”
“Will do.” Ivy disappears back into the bedroom.
It’s another thirty minutes before either of them co out of Cassie’s room, and that’s only to shuffle to the outhouse. It’s three hours before either of them look like they have any life in them. Cassie remains in her room, but Ivy eventually cos out into the living room.
“Where’s Vince?” She asks. I get the feeling she already knows the answer.
“Recharging the car batteries.”
“Alright, good. Let’s go check on him.”
“Shouldn't I stay here in case Cassie needs anything?”
“She’s doing fine. Co on.”
“Ok?” Why would she need to co with her? Or maybe she needs to leave the building for so reason? Maybe to talk without Cassie being able to overhear? I’m sure she’ll tell if I follow.
She leads Corax and I outside. The town is much livelier than it was last night. Nearly everyone is out and about, doing whatever’s needed to keep the place running. A few kids are even playing in the center of town, although that cos to an end when one of them points in our direction. Their eyes are wide with amazent.
Corax knows exactly what they want. He leaps from my shoulder and falls to the earth. With one flap of his wings he stops his fall and glides over the children, just out of range of their grabbing hands. The children's laughter and yells fill the canyon. Even so of the adults stop to watch with a range of emotions.
“Sorry we’re not being subtle.” I say. It’s hopefully safe to speak while Corax is taking all the attention.
“It’s fine. I’ll handle it later.”
“How?”
“I’m not sure yet.” She admits. “I have a few ideas though.”
I follow her into a stairwell. Nobody can see us here, and I use this opportunity to ask a question.
“How much did you two drink last night?”
“Apparently not enough. Cassie still rembers a bit of last night.”
We reach the bottom of the stairwell before I can ask another question. Does she an that Cassie rembers our conversation? Is that why she wanted out of the house?
Ivy leads through the center of town and out into the sand. Corax is having far too much fun to join us. Right now he’s perched in a crevice in the wall, taunting the children who are trying to climb to him.
Vince is relaxing atop the car a short distance away. A small collection of solar panels have been spread around and tilted towards the sun.
“Look who’s finally awake.” Vince hops off the car when he sees us. “How’s Cassie?”
“She’s recovering. We’ll watch the car if you want to check.” Ivy offers.
“Thanks. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
Ivy climbs into the car, and I sit next to her.
“So, about Cassie rembering last night.” If Cassie didn’t tell her what happened last night, I’m not going to tell her.
“Right, about that. Cassie told about a conversation you two had, but she was awfully wasted when it happened. I’m curious how much of it actually happened.”
Great. Why would I ever expect anything else?
“Well, it was a pretty short conversation.” If Cassie already told her, it must be safe for to share too. I fill her in on everything we said and Cassie falling asleep on .
“Ok. Thank you.” She says, and focuses her attention outside the car.
“That’s it? You have nothing else to say?”
“Nope.” Ivy answers cheerfully. She’s definitely hiding sothing. I’m not sure why else she would be acting so weird.
“Why did you ask?” I know she’s not going to answer, but I might as well ask.
Sure enough, she only shrugs. I’d tell her how frustrating she can be, but she’d probably take it as a complint.
Corax is so much easier to read than her. When he stares or shrugs, it’s always easy to know what he’s thinking, and he always knows I’ll be able to figure it out. But Ivy? Without living her life too, she’s impossible to decipher.
The canyon is actually pretty busy. A few stray cars are traveling along the length of it, but they do their best to keep their distance from us. There’s also a few vehicles that look like snowmobiles dragging skids full of trading supplies behind them. They’re far faster than the cars, but if a storm hits they’re dead. I guess it’s not that dangerous if the Grand Canyon is as full of villages as Vince says it is.
Although, the car won’t help us much either. Chances are we’ll just get buried, and I’ll just have to watch as everyone runs out of oxygen. On my first journey to Arc City, it did sound like they were prepared for that possibility, so maybe not?
I can feel my mind threatening to fragnt into a million horrible theoreticals. I grab a book from my backpack and dive in to distract myself.
“Hey Ivy?” I speak after a few minutes, once the panic has subsided.
“Hm?”
“Do you think I’ll ever get better?” I ask quietly.
“What do you an?”
“Cassie once said I’m not ok, I’m distracted. I’m trying to write, and it’s helping. But I’m still one bad thought away from freaking out at any mont.”
“Blue, you were barely able to function when we found you. You’re already getting better.” She reassures firmly.
“But I’m not good.”
“Is anyone?” Ivy takes a few seconds to collect her words before continuing. “Look, you don’t have much experience with actually living. Nobody works through their problems overnight. It’s going to take years to work through your demons, if ever. Sotis just distracting yourself is all you can do.”
“I guess.” I don’t want to wait for years. The few weeks since they rescued have already been so long. “I just want it to go faster.”
“You and everyone else.”
A familiar hand grasps the driver's seat in front of , followed by the last face I want to see.
“You get a second chance, and you’re ungrateful because it’s too hard?” Kara’s laughter stabs directly to the core of my mind. “Why don’t you just give my body back to , and let have mine.”
Don’t respond. Don’t think. Focus on my book. I’m ok. She’s not real.
Her hand touches my shoulder.
“Get off!” I slap it away and shrink down into the corner as much as I can. I don’t want to be here. I can’t leave. I can’t-
“Blue.” Hands grasp either side of my face and force to turn. Ivy’s face fills my vision. “It’s just here. You’re ok.”
I slowly turn my eyes towards the driver's seat and find it empty. I give Ivy a shaky nod.
She gently lowers my head into her lap and once again runs her fingers through my hair.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to talk about it without Corax.”
“You’re ok.” She says gently. “No harm done.”
“But it could have been! My guns are still loaded.” All it would take is racking the slide and turning off the safety to do sothing nobody could forgive for.
“Nope.” She says. I don’t have the ntal capacity to dissect what emotions are in her words.
“What do you an no?”
“I could pop the slide off before you got it out of the holster.”
I guess I am doubting her again. We sit there for a while until a far nicer, familiar voice is heard in the distance.
“Sorry kids! I need to charge him.” Vince’s voice always helps relax .
A nonsensical cacophony of complaints co from the children.
“We’ll play later, alright?” Vince’s promise gets them to quiet a little bit, and after a few more promises they relent.
I sit up before they arrive. I don’t want Corax to feel bad because of my mistake. Regardless of how hard I try, the second the door opens he flies to my shoulder with worry in his eye.
“Ok?” He asks.
“I’m ok.” That’s a half lie. I’m better than I was, especially now that he’s back, but I wouldn’t quite call myself good. “Did you have fun?”
Corax nods, his worry replaced with happiness.
“I never would have guessed that Corax was so good with kids.” Vince sits on the edge of the seat, halfway out of the car. Since I’m stuck in the middle seat, he’s doing his best to give as much space as possible.
“I did.” Ivy opens the car and stands up. “Vince, I’ll leave Blue with you while I go take care of our other daughter.”
“Wait, what?” Other daughter? Is she implying what I think she is? Or is there sohow another girl I don’t know about?
“Bye.” Ivy leaves without explaining and a smile on her face.
I let her leave without further complaints. I could chase after her and try to get her to explain, but there’s no way she would ever tell .
“Vince? Did she an…” I don’t want to say it if I’m wrong.
“Well I would have thought it went without saying. Of course you’re part of our family.”
“But I’m not…” I don’t want to finish that thought either.
“Not what? Mine by birth? Neither is Cassie or Lucas.”
“Human.” I guess I have to finish it. I know it’s a dumb worry and he’s going to say that it doesn’t matter, but it’s still a worry.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Little Blue.” He reaches over and ruffles my hair. “You’re more human than plenty of humans I know.”
“Really?”
“Mm-hmm. You’ll see a few of them soon enough.”
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