Things do, thankfully, calm down as the sun sets. The endless lines of people wanting to talk to begin to slow down, but don’t stop. That, plus my ever expanding collection of canned responses, lets actually function for myself.
Or at least, things calm down for . Zero, Silver, and Clover all have their hands full throughout the night, but at least that’s not my problem right now. I can trust the city with them, or at least trust the city with Silver and Clover, and trust them to watch Zero.
Saccharine and Zenith work hard to convince the rest of the AI hiding in the city to co to the tower. People occasionally arrive, and I offer each of them a body, of which only half of them accept.
Cassie, Corax and I bring down as many supplies as we can. Couches, chairs, pillows, blankets, food, water, everything we can spare to make everyone more comfortable. We’re doing everything we can to make sure people don’t have to sleep on the floor or on top of boxes. I wish nothing more than to just relax and claim so ti for myself, but it’s just not an option. Having ti to think just ans I have to think about how to handle Mary.
A quick check of the caras shows what has been happening in Mary’s room through the whole day. Vince, Ivy, and Lucas have done their best to keep her calm and to keep her wound from getting worse, but Mary’s fear has consud her every mont.
All she wants is C-1 to be safe, to be ok, to tell her he’s alive. I could pretend to be him, reassure her and tell her to move on. I can’t do that.
I thought Vince would handle telling her C-1 is dead, but I guess not. It’s probably for the best though, she deserves to hear what happened from .
“How do I break the news to Mary?” I ask Cassie.
“What?” Cassie sticks her head out of the cabinet she’s raiding for food. “Vince and Ivy are taking care of it.”
“They haven’t yet, and I’m the one who killed him. I should have to be the one to tell her.”
“No, that’s a stupid idea. How do you think that’s going to turn out? Just walk in there and go ‘hey I killed your kid, no hard feelings’?”
“Well, I need to figure out sothing softer than that, but I should be the one to do it. I think it’s better than soone else telling her, and then following up with the fact that she can’t talk to the person who did it even though I’m right here.”
“And then what? Are you going to let her live here?”
That’s a good question. It’s not fair to her if I just force her out of her ho, especially after everything I’ve already done, but is staying here good for her? Is her staying here good for ? At least I know the answer to the second one, it doesn’t matter. I have to be here.
“No, I don’t think either one of us will be able to handle that.” I say. “I’ll help her get sowhere safe, wherever she wants to go. Or to let her stay in the AI city if she wants.”
Cassie lets out a loud sigh and heads for the dinner table, leaning against one of the chairs.
“I’m not going to talk you out of this, am I?” She asks.
“I don’t think so.”
“Fine. I’m not going to stop you from making bad decisions, but I am going to look forward to telling you I told you so. Let drag Ivy out here, maybe she can talk so sense into you.” She pushes herself off the chair and heads back to Mary’s room. I watch her silently until she turns the corner.
“Am I making the right decision?” I ask Corax.
“No.”
“Oh. Ok. I’ll drop it.”
“No.” He gently pecks my cheek. “Need this.”
“Ok.” I don’t understand what he ans by that, but I do trust him enough to follow his advice.
I can’t stop myself from tapping into the caras and microphones hidden in Mary’s room, just as the door opens.
“C-1?” Mary tries to prop herself up on her elbow, only for Ivy to hold her down.
“You’re going to rip out your stitches.” She says firmly. “If you want to get out of here in any reasonable ti, don’t move.”
“Is C-1 ok?” Mary insists.
“Ivy, Blue needs you.” Cassie says, intentionally avoiding Mary’s pleas.
“Alright.” She turns back to Mary as she follows Cassie out of the room. “I’m not sewing you closed if you rip out your stitches again.”
The door gets closed before Mary can respond.
“Why won’t they answer?” Mary glances rapidly between Vince and Lucas.
I can’t bear to listen any longer. I can hear her heart breaking with every question, the growing certainty that he’s dead.
“If you want my advice-” Zero ssages to .
“I don’t.”
“Trying to soften the blow will only drag things out. Making things far harder in the long term.” He continues. “Tell her what happened, tell her why, and leave her to deal with the outco. After that, keep her close, and keep an eye on her. She holds more power than most, even now, don’t let her use it against you.”
“Why the hell haven’t you told her yet?” I can hear Cassie’s question just a mont before they co around the corner.
“We’ve had our hands full keeping her alive and calm.” Ivy responds. “She’s seventy, unmodified, and lived through the early days of the apocalypse. If you want to deal with that particular mix of old, frail, and stubborn, be my guest.” This might be the first ti I’ve ever heard genuine frustration in Ivy’s voice.
“And how do you think she’ll react to the news?” Both of them reappear from around the corner, and Cassie gestures towards . “She wants to tell Mary right now. Personally.”
“Alright.” Ivy shrugs. Cassie raises an eyebrow at her, but stays silent. “And how are you going to go about it?”
“I don’t know.” I admit. “I need to figure sothing out though.”
“Alright, sit down.” Ivy gestures to the few chairs that haven’t been brought downstairs yet. I take a seat, and she takes the one opposite to . “The key to delivering bad news is to be direct. Don’t dance around what happened, don’t leave any ambiguity and risk a misunderstanding.”
“Ok. So I just go in there and say that I killed C-1?” That sounds suspiciously like Zero gave good advice, and that can’t be the case.
“No, absolutely not. You go in and you tell her C-1 is dead, not that you killed him. Put the focus on his death, not on you. She’s going to ask you what happened eventually, and even then, you don’t say you killed him. You do tell her the truth though, why did you kill him?”
“He attacked Silver’s to teach a lesson. I stopped it before too many people got hurt, but he still did it. And…” I gesture vaguely out the shattered window. “You were right.”
“My description of the city?” She guesses.
“Yeah. It was sustainable, I’m just not sure what the point of that was if everyone is miserable.”
“Who got hurt?” Ivy asks.
“I don’t know. Four people have died, three during the attack and one later from injuries. I don’t want to know their nas.”
“Silver told .” Cassie says. “Your top floor took a bullet in his body armor, but nobody we’re close with has died.”
Did they? I’ve been with Cassie all day, I’m not sure how I missed that. It’s fine, I’ll be able to pay attention to everything one day, or at least to the important things.
“Don’t think more trauma is what that kid needs right now, but sure. I can work with that. Now, Blue, a woman like Mary? Expect her to get angry after you break the news. Angry at you, angry at the world, angry at herself. Long as she doesn’t get physical, you take it. Don’t push back, don’t make excuses, just take it. Let her get her emotions out and that anger will burn out quickly. Got it?”
“I guess. It’s better than Zero’s advice at least.”
“Oh god, what did he tell you?” Cassie asks.
“Tell her what happened, tell her why, and leave her to deal with it.”
“Of course he did.”
“When do you want to talk to her?” Ivy asks.
“Now, I guess.” I glance at Corax, just to make sure he’ll be there to support . He gives a small nod. “The city is quieting down, and I’m getting used to having so many conversations at once. It’d probably be good to get it done before the next disaster.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Cassie asks.
“No.” I take a step towards Mary’s room. Cassie slides in next to , giving my hand a comforting squeeze. I smile back at her.
I pause at her door.
“Is there anything else I can take care of?” I send a ssage into the network with no particular recipient in mind.
“Always, which is why I insist you make this quick.” Zero’s response is instantaneous.
“Go take care of her.” The half of Silver that is still awake responds a mont later.
“We’re handling things.” Clover adds.
I grab the handle, pull the door, and step inside.
Mary is laying in a large bed. The sheets are stained red on one side of her body, and thick bandages are wrapped tightly over her torso.
“Blue.” Mary’s face is being pulled in separate directions. Fear, certainty, and hope all fight for dominance in her mind. “Where’s C-1?”
Why did I even co in here? I’ve never regretted a decision so completely. This isn’t about though, nothing is anymore. She deserves to hear this from .
“I’m sorry. C-1 is dead.”
Mary’s entire being shatters, and her ghastly wails fill the room.
“What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO!” Her pleading screams co a mont later and she tries to move, only to be held down by Lucas and Vince.
“He tried to kill everyone at Silver’s. He succeeded in killing four of them.”
“You… No no no no no no no. Please. Please no.”
How many people have I killed that had family that reacted in the sa exact way? It doesn’t matter, I kill those thoughts. I never have to kill anyone ever again. I can make up for everything eventually. Giving thousands of people a good life will make up for what I’ve done. Or at least be a good start.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry? You kill my son and have the gall to be sorry?” Her pleads give way to raw anger.
Her eyes dart around the room, and Vince shifts back, placing his pistol on a table far away from her. Ivy steps towards Lucas, pulling his weapons off his body, and Cassie rests her hands on her weapons just in case.
“I-” Don’t tell her I don’t regret what I did. Just take it. “I know it doesn’t fix anything, and doesn’t make anything right, but that doesn’t an I’m not sorry.”
“You fucking bitch.” Her words physically drip from her mouth, every word splattering acid across my mind. “Bring him back. Bring him back! I can’t lose him too.” Her anger quickly fades into pure, unfiltered sadness and she lets herself fall back onto her bed. “I can’t lose him too.” She whispers through building sobs.
“I’m sorry.” All I can do is apologize. I don’t even know if she heard , much less able to discern just how genuine my voice is.
Ivy steps away from her and leans down next to , putting the speaker on her neck directly next to my ear.
“Do you have his corpse?” Even with how close the source of the sound is to my ear, it’s still hard to make out the words through Mary’s cries.
“He’s on the ground in the mainfra.” I whisper back.
“Got it.” Ivy pushes past and out of the room, leaving all of us alone with Mary’s wails.
Zero wordlessly pokes , bringing my attention to a man standing in front of one of the endless bodies I have stationed outside the tower. His transcript reveals he’s tried to ask the sa exact question three separate tis.
“Sorry.” I answer him, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m having a tough conversation, and she deserves my full attention. Is it ok if I wait until that’s done to answer your question?”
“Uh, sure.” the man says tentatively.
“Thank you.”
When I return my attention back to Mary, the door opens and Ivy steps inside. She cradles a vase in her arms, and steps to Mary’s side.
“Do you want to bury him?” Ivy asks and hands the vase over.
Mary reaches out with shaking hands, grasping the urn tightly. She pulls it to her chest, and her wails only grow louder.
Through it all, I just sit there. I hear every word, every heartbreak, every plead, every scream. The scientists manifest beside her, her long dead friends just as helpless as I am to do anything. They glance at constantly, checking to ensure my attention always stays on Mary, making sure I experience the full depth of what I did.
I did what I had to. I made the best decision I could. I would make the decision again if I had to. But that will never an what I did was a good thing.
Reviews
All reviews (0)