Born of Silicon Book 4 Chapter 3

Screams. Grab my pistol. Shit, it’s gone. Knife? Rifle? All missing. I try to run, only for my legs to give out and slam hard into the floor of the cell. Where’s my gun? Where’s my gun! I’m not going to let her-

“Vince!” Cassie’s loud yells finally break through the screams, and the sound settles down. “You’re alright!”

I glance around. Cassie is already crouched above , and Blue cos sprinting around the corner from one of the cars. A black streak swoops in just behind her. Panic dominates once again, not stopping until Corax’s form materializes. Where’s Ivy? In the car, perched on her elbow and unable to help, no matter how much she wants to.

“Focus. Here and now.” Cassie orders.

Fuck, ok. Take stock. I’m not in the cell. The cave. I’m on the floor of the cave, just outside our car door. My entire body is shaking. My throat is hoarse. I was screaming. My rifle sits on Blue’s back, that’s alright. What else? Body hurts, but doesn’t feel broken. The ground is cold, made worse by the sweat covering my entire body.

The air is cool, focus on taking breaths. Stop the shaking. Settle my heart.

“I’m alright.” I reassure both of them, and struggle to push myself into a sitting position. Cassie’s hand cos down to help .

“Was it a nightmare?” She asks.

“Must’ve been sothing like that.” I say. “Don’t rember anything though.”

Blue imdiately heads to the trunk, returning with water and food for . I grab the bottle and quickly drain the entire thing. I need salt to replenish whatever I sweated out, and she thankfully has so stale crackers.

Settle down. I shake everything out of my head, grab the cracker and slowly begin to eat. Go slow. Focus only on the food, and Cassie’s hand rubbing my back.

“Do you need anything?” Blue asks.

“Yeah. Fresh air would do good.”

“Alright.” Blue crouches down, taking in her arms.

“ too.” Ivy’s chanical voice cos from the car.

“Fuck, you’re using the crutches this ti.” Cassie mumbles as she heads over.

Blue doesn’t wait for the two of them. She carries out of the cave, resting on the sand slope beneath the stars. I return to focusing only on my crackers until Ivy maneuvers into the sand next to . She puts a hand on my thigh and I give her a forced smile back.

Nobody says a word until I finish my food and lay back in the freezing sand. It soaks up my sweat, leaving only the coldness behind. It feels nice.

“Been too long since I’ve seen the night sky.” I say to no one in particular.

“Don’t think you can get out of talking that easily.” Cassie chides . Guess I need to try harder.

“Not sure what there is to talk about.” I shrug. “Don’t even rember what caused it. Just woke up in a panic.”

“I think I can relate.” Blue says gently, taking a seat nearby. “It’s not exactly the sa, but I think I kind of know how you’re feeling. Talking always helps , even if it’s hard.”

“I think it’s just Mara stuff.” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t want to bother any of you with it.”

“I never want to bother you either. But alright, you were so patient with , I’ll be here if you want to try.”

“Thanks Little Blue.” She’s grown so much. I an, she already grew so much from when we first t her. I just can’t believe I missed another kid turning into an adult. At least I have an excuse for this one. “It’ll be easier when I can ld with Ivy. I just have to get through a few days.”

“I think I can relate to that too.” She says with a smile. “I’m not sure why, but living Corax’s life and letting him live mine just fixes everything.”

“Ah, I’m not sure things work the sa way for us.” Her face falls a small amount when I say that, despite her best efforts to hide it. “We just pass thoughts, mories, emotions, that kind of thing back and forth. I’m not sure our brains could handle going that deep.”

“Oh, E-1 did sothing like that with once. I can see how that would be nice too.”

“Oh! Is she a friend of yours?” I ask.

“I’m not really sure. She was my therapist in-”

“Oh no, you don’t get to worm away that easily.” I knew Cassie would see right through . I thought with Ivy having trouble talking, I might be able to change the subject. “Your problems, talk.”

“Like I said, I’m not sure what there is to talk about. Only thing I can share is what happened in there, and I’m not burdening you with that.” It’ll just make them feel worse. “It’s my problem, and the only one I choose to share it with is Ivy.”

Cassie tries to push further, but Blue places a gentle hand on hers. A silent conversation plays out between the two of them. I can’t help but smile.

“Fine.” Cassie relents. “But if you can’t get any sleep, I’m going to make you talk.”

“Sounds like a plan. I-” Movent in the corner of my vision demands my attention. My hand is already on my hip, groping for my gun before I recognize who it is.

“Are you ok?” An exhausted voice cos out of a robotic body that can barely remain standing. Despite everything, and all the years since I last heard it, it’s still a voice I recognize.

“I’m alright. Sorry if I woke you up.” What in the world should I call her? Clover? That’s what Cassie called her, but also Blue said she’s not the sa person? Either way, it’s a good distraction. “I didn’t get a chance to say it, but thank you for saving .”

She gives a small nod and sits down with Lance and Robin, keeping her distance from . She slumps down, barely able to keep her eyes on .

“Blue already told you’re probably not the sa person I once knew. That’s fine, but what should I call you?” That’s as good a way as any to break the ice.

“I don’t know.” She says quietly. “Clover’s fine.”

“Alright, Clover. If that changes let know. Don’t be afraid to set straight if I make a mistake, but what happened, if you don’t mind asking?”

“I killed myself to save myself.”

I don’t know what that ans, but the way she said it, that single phrase obviously ans a lot to her. Shoot, is she still a woman? Blue used her, I’d say it’s safe to assu yes.

“I thought Mara killed you?” Just saying her na spikes my adrenaline, and her na ca out with much less conviction. I really hope Ivy gets better soon, I sure do have so stuff to work through. “She sent pictures of her destroying your mainfra.”

Corax flies from Blue’s shoulder, landing on Clover’s. He pulls her ear gently in the exact sa way he does for Blue. Still looks like it hurts, but she wakes up a little.

“She intended to. I did it before she could.”

“She rejoined the Quantum Hivemind.” Blue explains for her. “As far as I understand, she still has the old Clover’s mories, but doesn’t feel a strong connection to them. Is that right?” She adds the last part quickly.

Clover only gives a small nod in response.

“Alright. I’m not sure what that actually ans, to be honest.” I admit. I have no idea what that would even feel like. The only important question is, how do I make her more comfortable? “How about we just make things simple then? If you find out we’re old friends, then great. If not, that’s fine too. But for now, I’m Vince, and it’s nice to et you.” I hold out my hand for her.

Her eyes lock onto it, and a frown shows on her face. Despite that, she reaches out and takes it. I give a small handshake, and try to let go, only to find my hand locked in her iron grip. I wait for a few seconds, before her hand starts to slowly tighten.

I don’t panic. I can deal with a broken hand in addition to everything. That’s the worst that could happen, and I’d rather have that than to make things harder for her.

“What’s going on in your head?” I ask.

That question shocks her back to attention, and she loosens her grip before she can do any permanent damage. There’s a little pain, but I lock down, not letting anything show.

“I didn’t like that.” The words drop from her mouth almost silently.

Ah, shit. So much for not making her uncomfortable.

“Alright, so maybe we’re not complete strangers then.” I hazard a guess.

“I don’t like that either.” She says.

“That’s alright too.” But what does that actually an? I can’t just say that without expanding on it. “Do you want to just ignore the whole topic then? You’re you and I’m and we’ll figure out what that ans as we go?”

That brings a small smile to her face. There we go. Finally I can help a little.

She lets her entire body go limp, laying in the sand. Corax gives her a small peck on her cheek, and returns to Blue’s shoulder.

“I really hope I didn’t just kill her.” I can’t help but say aloud. I know Blue said she was out for twenty four hours once, but I didn’t expect it to be so sudden.

“She does this.” Cassie reassures . “Just give her ti.”

Every lesson I’ve ever learned is screaming at to help. A person just collapsing like that is a bad sign. I’ve seen people drop like that, and it’s only ever from a bullet to the brain, just flat dropping dead, or exhaustion. None are good signs.

I guess she’s not a human though. I still have more to learn.

“Guess I should try to follow her.” I say. “If soone could help back to the car.”

“Are you going to be able to sleep?” Cassie asks.

“We’ll see. If not, do we have any sleeping pills left?”

“What, and get you stuck in a nightmare? Fuck that.” Cassie crouches down, easily helping to my feet. I muster all the force I can to walk, even if it isn’t much.

It takes only a few minutes to get settled back into my chair, with Ivy’s gorgeous face looking up at . Cassie thankfully decides to stay out with Blue for the mont.

I brush her hair away, revealing her entire face and hiding her gray hairs like I know she would want to. I think they look great on her, but haven’t been able to convince her of that yet. It’s not fair how she thinks my gray hairs are sothing to celebrate, proof I’ve lived far longer than most, ‘storied’ she says. And in the sa breath say hers are sothing to hide and shun.

She reaches up, running her fingers through her hair until she finds a few loose ones. She reaches up, placing the small amount she got atop my head.

I smile back, not needing to use words to get my thoughts through. Hopefully soon I’ll have so hair back. Cassie too, although she needs it more than . I can’t imagine she’s happy with a buzzed head, even if she hates long hair.

Ivy’s eyes narrow with worry and her hand slips beneath my shirt. She presses against my chest, and her hand cos away with a few red splotches.

Ah, shoot. Guess I re-opened sothing while I was flailing. Not sure how I missed that when I was taking stock. Guess I wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind.

Ivy struggles to reach for the dkit, and rests it on her chest. I help her open it. It takes the both of us working together to pull off my shirt, remove my old bandages, and put new ones on.

Ivy cracks a grin, and I laugh at her silent joke. She doesn’t even need to say it.

“We sure are a ss.”