Carl felt himself freeze as the realm gate crackled into existence, his body tensed in anticipation of what would happen next, then he heard the voice he’d hoped to never hear again.
"Well, well, well... Co to talk about my ga? Sounds grand indeed, no one thought to give a review up to now. Co on in, I don’t like your realm much, wait, no, it doesn’t like I an."
Carl stepped fought every instinct telling him to run and took the three steps necessary before he collided with the ground the other side of the portal, which quickly close behind him.
"Oof! Sorry wee chick that landing gets a one and even that’s generous." The man’s voice appeared before he did, simply appearing like a glitchy character that hadn’t rendered until the dialogue started.
"I agree..." Carl stood, looking around the strange realm that looked like a graveyard of objects, maps and textures that never made it to the final release. Just looking at it made him feel sick and dizzy, like his mind couldn’t comprehend the information being forced into it.
"Ha! Agree! Like it was a an object of discussion and not a simple stating of facts. Now, the ga, you said you wanted to talk about it and I can see your suffering little boy-chick, so I’ll give you a penny for your thoughts and you can be on your way."
Carl thought about everything, good, bad and what feel sowhere between. Then with the sa sigh he usually gave Gillian before telling him the idea he was so excited about was stupid. "Your ga sucks."
The world practically caught fire around him. "Everyone’s a critic, every insignificant little creature thinks they can do better." It was the first ti Carl had heard the main speak so normally, a tone which in this world of madness was undeniably hostile.
"Sorry, it does, it’s not like I ca here just to complain though. I believe criticism should always be construnctive, I’d be happy to explain."
"Oh my! Mr. Self-superior doth wishes to grace with his infallible opinion! Why not? You ca all this way, I guess I can let you talk whilst you still have a tongue." The man stord off ahead of Carl, who followed absolutely certain he would not be leaving. "...Tell boy-chick, you seem awfully sad for so reason. Could it be you truly mourn my masterpiece?"
"No, I’m just sad I’ll never see her again, sad I made her so sad.... I just wish we’d been born back before humans used up all their second chances."
"Ha! He says that whilst spitting in the face of the last one to give him a second chance! The gall of the boy!"
When the figure stopped, it wasn’t at so grand castle, but a wooden shack that was quite literally falling apart.
Inside was practically empty, the only contents it held was a fire beneath a wooden chimney and two small stalls, which sat either side of it.
"Fir-"
"Sit before you start talking, the fire will give sothing to shut you up with. Not that I need a fire, it’s like you aren’t even trying to use that incredible system that sneakly little woman made you. Fifteen years and nothing! A system so marvellous I tipped my hat to her corpse!"
Carl tensed, the idea of soone talking about wife in that way repulsed him and he had to settle his stomach after taking his seat before continuing . "First, thank you for bringing Klaire back after the wyvern and for sparing her in Faylorn."
"Oh sure! Now he has manners..." After grumbling incoherently for a while, he returned his attention to matters at hand. " So, why does my ga, my masterpiece "suck"? I look forward to telling you why you’re wrong."
"Well for starters, I don’t know what you an by fifteen years, I got my system at ten and I’m eighteen. So maybe it’s actually just ant for a different target audience but I ssed up and started playing seven years early."
The man’s eyes narrowed in a way that made Carl entirely unable to tell whether he was simply moving his eyebrows or if his eyes were actually shifting beneath the sockets. His eyes suddenly turning fiery and dangerous weren’t enough to make Carl Err anymore.
"Eighteen!?" The sudden exclamation made Carl flinch more out surprise than fear. "You expect to believe at eighteen, you ca so far, had the stones to marry a ya wee chick and and have ya two weird babies?" He growled, the accusatory tone taking Carl by surprise.
"Sorry, do you really not know how old I am? I was under the impression you knew everything?"
"I do! or should.... Boy-chick! Tell now, if you’re only eighteen then what were ya doing fighting a wyvern there of all places? What were you doing there before fighting a wyvern? Surely it can’t happen twice and you were going there to propose were you not and now your married! HA! Got you! sneaky little liar!"
"I’m not lying... I heard Faylorna can look at souls to gleam mories, your welco to rip mine out and peek."
"Ha! You think newbie do ye! I don’t need to rip out souls to see mories. I have my own ways..."
As he finished speaking, the fire between the went out of its own accord and the man reached through and grabbed either side of his head, then slowly dragged him closer until Carl found himself kneeling before the man who was using his rubbing his head like a crystal ball and mumbling to himself.
"Oh my! What not on Earth has happened! This is all wrong! You were supposed to have fifteen years to grow out o’ yer nappies... Who the hell went and made a mockery of my precious ga... No wonder I’ve had so many corrections to make."
"I take it sothing went wrong." Carl stated carefully, all too aware his head could like be squashed like a grape.
"Wrong? Wrong!? Lots of things went wrong little boy-chick! This is catastrophic! The ga I made no longer exists, seems soone went and dabbled in things that shouldn’t be dabbled in. If I had to guess, it was , I do tend to dabble, but what dabbling did this?"
"What sort of issue exactly?"
"What do you think! Ti! Ti, my boy-chick..."
"Any chance it was caused when I got sent to this ti? Apparently Mobius sent hurling through a ti maelstrom."
"Do you really think I hadn’t considered that!? I hadn’t, so good job. anyway what’s done is done and can’t be undone, especially with Mobius and Cronus both playing their parts so well... It would be rude to interrupt."
"Okay, so nothings changing, figured."
"Don’t be such a hasty little boy-chick. The ga was glitchy it seems and like any good ga director, I’ll make it right, so.... Na your wish and I shall patch it in, but obviously we can’t end the ga, I didn’t do all this for nothing after all!"
"Wish? Can you just let and my family not be a part of it?"
"HAHAHA! Of course not! Your the hero boy-chick! Im the final boss! If you really hate I suppose I could kill you all right now and have done.... Wait, no I can’t the gas already getting bad reviews, the fans will lose their minds if it ends so soon!"
"Okay, can we put a hold on it? Give those seven years?"
"Love to, but no.If I gave you seven years with how far you co in a quarter, you may as be playing new ga plus and that will be no fun at all, my life is on the line here! Least you could do is give a fighting chance HAHA!"
"Okay.... How about this.... I ask for a rest spot, a place where the bad guys can’t go no matter how powerful... Before you say I will just hide there indefinitely, make it so that I can’t spend more than a weak there conscious, but if I’m injured or sick and my allies get back there, I can recover. My allies can use it as much as they want though."
"Hmmm!?" He sohow managed to shout the thoughtfully elongated syllable, then muttered gibberish to himself as Carl tried not to stare at him. The fear that seed so natural now felt more like pitty.
"while you think, would you like my review?"
"Why not!? If I kill you, I won’t need to think about, will I?"
"The ga was clearly broken, you made it impossible to even figure out what the point was, without the end boss, I an you, appeapearing."
"The end boss appearing several tis is a cornerstone of gas! It’s how you know what he’s all about! How can you hate soone you never t? The best final bosses are as tragic as they are terrifying, aren’t they?"
"Yes, but honestly, you don’t co off as tragic at all. You appeared, you were terrifying and unpredictable, shallow but still good villain stuff. The problem is that we can’t see you as tragic because everyone is too scared to talk about you. You have no background, you have no lore to learn. You killed my creator, Ishtar, well sorry to sound harsh but I didn’t know her."
The elongated "Hmm" noise made a return and the man’s eyes began to shift in their sockets again.
"Honestly, if you weren’t just waiting for people to talk about you so you could jump out, that first sighting was so impactful it could have carried the ga, but now it’s wasted."
"I see your point as much as It pains to see the flaw brought to light. Maybe a retcon is in order! Tell you what, as thanks for the honest review, you can have the safe place. I’m going to patch the system, when it’s done, my ears will no longer hear my na and my eyes will no longer see the hero’s journey. THIS SOUNDS BETTER ALREADY!"
"Yeah, sure does... So, do I just go?"
"Oh heavens no! I’m gonna rough you up a bit and send you back, knowing that grandmother of yours, she will kill you herself for being stupid enough to co here. So, I propose this, it stays a little secret."
"You ca, we fought, you left blind and deaf! Oh woe is ! But.... I had a trick up my sleeve, always do. I appeared and broke your legs mid victory dance, a dig in the shins mid shindig so to speak. Then you hit with a new spell you made just for this mont, one called.... "Go Away!", you aren’t very good with nas, they’ll buy that one. That is what gave you the ability to mark one location as safe from and my minions."
"Okay... So do y-" As Carl spoke his limbs twisted at every joint and he filled the air with his screams and groans, as the man applauded the agonised display, he leant down.
"Truly a magnificent performance!..." He then knelt down to add "Rember, mums the word." befor tapping his nose two tis and then opening a portal and launching Carl through it. "MY EYES! MY EARS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO !" He shouted the final line as the portal crackled closed.
As Carl was sent flying through the portal, he crashed into the shadowy table where the others were chatting, the sound of his ribs breaking joined his screams as everyone either rushed to help him or took a defensive position.
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