"You won’t be able to take care of whom anymore, Patrick?"
Making sure to keep his expression neutral, Patrick turned to look at his father and gave him a mild smile. " I was just talking to myself, father. You know how it is. Nostalgia in the air. I never thought I would return here and now that I have..."
Robert tilted his head. "That so?" He climbed a few more steps, and Patrick felt a chill in his heart. It seed the man had heard more than he intended. HAd he said sothing that might reveal the truth? But as he quickly thought back, he was sure he had not, so he did not let his panic show as Sir Robert muttered, "Sounded to like you were mourning a failure. Like you’d given up."
Patrick didn’t answer. Not yet. He had learned long ago that silence had power, too.
Robert narrowed his eyes and this ti his tone was sharp, "Who is it, Patrick? Who were you trying to protect?"
"Let it go, father. I just said I was thinking of the past." Patrick said softly, turning halfway toward the portrait again. "It doesn’t matter anymore."
But Robert Collins wasn’t a man who let things go.
"Is it Adam?" The na ca out like venom. "You ca back for him, didn’t you? After all these years you ca back not for your own father or your son! No! You ca for an outsider."
Patrick didn’t flinch, but he did face him now. Straight on.
Sir Robert’s jaw tightened and he banged the stick in his hand against the floor, "Spencer told you always went too soft when it ca to that boy. Said you treated him like he was your own. That you undermined discipline. Undermined , even. Is that true? Have you really returned for him? Answer now! You punished us with your absence all these years because you wanted to be with Adam?"
There was a ti when Patrick would have collapsed to his knees to explain himself in at this tone from his father. But this ti, he only shook his head and answered calmly," They were both children, Father.. Yes, Spencer was mine. Adam wasn’t. And yes—yes, I shielded Adam sotis. Because he needed it."
"So you did love him more," Robert snapped, his eyes flashing as he controlled the urge to take his stick and hit his errant son.
Patrick’s mouth pressed into a thin line. "No. I hated Spencer’s mother. And you know it! She made it impossible to love anything around her, including our own son. But I never loved Adam more. I tried to love Spencer and only sotis protected him because I wanted to Spencer to be a good man! And not a bully like his mother."
"You failed," Robert said flatly.
Patrick’s laugh was short and hollow. "Yes. Maybe I did. But not in the way you think."
Robert descended the last few steps, face drawn but burning with pride. "So who, then?" he demanded. ""f not Adam, then who are you trying to protect all this ti?"
Patrick looked at him. Really looked at him. And sothing in his chest cracked wide open as he looked at his father and said, "You," he said.
Sir Robert blinked.
"For ?" he repeated, disbelief woven tight into the single word. His brow creased, and he glared at Patrick suspiciously, "You’re telling you ca back for ? To protect ? Really Patrick? And who do I need protection from? Adam? Or lanie? I didn’t think you would really try to fool like this Patrick! Don’t think I cannot be strict with you just because I treasure you!"
Patrick didn’t look away but instead stared at the old man somberly as he said, "I don’t bla you for doubting , Father. You have every reason to be suspicious. I haven’t exactly been... filial, have I? I walked away when I should’ve stayed. I disappeared when duty demanded I return. I let silence speak for when I should’ve written, called, begged. I can’t pretend I was a good son. I wasn’t."
"I have never stopped valuing what you gave . You might not have always said it in words, but I know you’ve always treasured . Even when you were angry. Even when I disappointed you. So if you feel the need to punish for all I’ve done- or not done-then I’ll accept it. Gladly. But not this, Father. I will not let you believe that I ca back for soone else, or that I have so hidden motive."
Patrick tood a deep breath and continued," I ca back for you and for ’your son’. Not even for my own son. I ca back because I didn’t want you to find out about my death through a letter. Or through so public announcent in a newspaper. Or after it was already too late to look in the eye and say what you really felt. I ca back because I didn’t want you to regret never getting the chance to say goodbye."
He watched as the man turned pale. Once again, proving without words that no matter how much this man was ruthless towards the world, he loved his own son...
Sir Robert’s grip on his cane tightened. His mouth opened, but no words ca at first. He simply stared as if trying to process what he’d just heard. "What are you saying? What death? You are still young..."
Patrick’s lips curved slightly, not in amusent, but in quiet acceptance. He gave a small nod and looked up toward the high vaulted ceiling before answering. "I’ve recently found out that I might not have long to live. So days I feel fine, but others... it feels like a clock ticking just behind my ears. I didn’t want to believe it at first. Still don’t. I told myself it was just exhaustion, stress-so delayed punishnt for abandoning everyone. But the doctors said otherwise. Sothing to do with the heart... I’ve co to accept the truth."
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