"If you don’t want to tell , we can wait here, forever, lon."
lanie looked at the stubborn man who was glaring at her and sighed. At this rate, they really might be stuck in her office forever. She sighed and blurted out," Your ex ca to visit ."
Adam straightened up then. His arms were still around her waist, but they’d gone slack. "What? Why?"
lanie looked down at her hands resting on his chest. She could feel his heart thumping beneath them. "You heard . She ca a couple of days ago. Also, I don’t know why she ca because I never have her the chance. I might have showed off a few things and... anyway, I didn’t tell you because... I didn’t know what to say. She just... showed up out of the blue"
Adam frowned at the words even as he looked at her consideringly. Why would Saira’s coming over upset lanie? After all, when he’d feared that Saira would tell lanie about the molestation etc, lanie would be upset with him. But when Saira had dropped the biggest bombshell, lanie had trusted him. Also, he understood what lanie said about ’showing off’ so what had upset lanie that she was still hiding it from him?
"What did she want? You really have no idea?"
lanie hesitated, then slid off his lap, brushing her skirt down with trembling fingers as she stepped away. "She said she wanted to talk but I never gave her the chance."
lanie knew she should tell him about her taunting him about the children and how lanie had told her that she could have his children when she wanted and then Saira’s threat... but she did not.
Her and Adam were only going to be together three years and though she had only said the words about being able to bear a child for Adam anyti she wanted, it had been just words to instigate Saira and nothing more. However, Saira’s words had affected her much more deeply than she realized.
That was the part lanie didn’t known how to process. Not because of what it ant for Saira and Adam, but because of what it made her feel: a confusing, gut-deep swirl of inadequacy, doubt, and jealousy that she didn’t want to admit even to herself.
Now she stood in front of Adam, unable to look at him, unsure how to explain any of it. She wasn’t ready to ask questions she might not like the answers to. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted answers—because what if the truth changed sothing? At the mont they were confidantes, allies and even friends with benefits. And she really did like this status quo despite everything.
So she said nothing.
But Adam could probably guess that she was not telling everything because he cocked his head to stare at her and asked, "So, even though you didn’t give her a chance to say anything, she managed to upset you? That could be classic her, but since when have you been so easy to irk?"
lanie sent him an irritated glance. Did he really have to be all seeing and all questioning? She didn’t want to talk about it.
"What did she say?" he finally demanded.
She took a deep breath and turned to Adam," I don’t want to talk about it.. Let’s go, okay? We can have dinner outside."
She flicked a glance at him over her shoulder. "Co on. I’m starving."
"No, lon. Not until you tell what she said." Adam insisted worriedly.
She stiffened. "I already told you, I didn’t let her speak"
"But she did speak, didn’t she? Or else you wouldn’t be this rattled."
lanie let out an annoyed breath. "Why does it matter?"
"Because I care?" he snapped, standing. "Because you’re clearly upset and pretending you’re not, and I don’t want you to worry!"
Adam looked at lanie and suddenly felt very worried. She was closing in on him... And it was indeed worrying because that is exactly what she had done to Spencer when she finally realized that he had betrayed her. But he had not betrayed her. He had not even expressed his feelings to her.
And she had only now started opening out to him, so why was she pulling back? He stared at her and she stared back and when she took a deep breath, he thought that she would tell the truth but instead she bit out," I have never pried, you know! I’ve always given you space and ti when you were not willing to share sothing!"
"That’s different—" He wanted to tell her that it was different because she did not have feelings for him but he did. However, he was not ready for the confession and any way, he did not get a chance to say because she cut it agitatedly," No, it’s not different. I don’t owe you a confession just because she showed up out of nowhere and decided to stir the pot!"
His jaw tightened at that. "So, you’re not going to tell ."
"No, I’m not! Not now, maybe not ever! And if you’re that curious," she spat, slinging her bag over her shoulder, "you can go ask your ex-girlfriend yourself!"
She yanked the door open and stord out but then paused for a mont and then scowled at Ben," Why are you still here working overti? Just go!"
With that, lanie walked out of the office and towards the parking! Like hell, she was going to confess how much Saira’s words about not sharing sothing like that with Adam had rattled her.
And even though she had been on the fence about many things like Adam having a child and the rest of the things, she did not like the way things and her feelings were shaping up to be. This ti, she would not wait and bury her head in the sand about things. She would have to be prepared to face her own feelings and any hurt that might co with it.
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