Sorry. What does this word an? When do you say it? Why do you need to say it?
When soone apologizes for their mistake? When soone regrets their wrongdoings? When soone repents his actions? When soone is guilty of doing harm? When soone is ashad of their behavior?
But why Liu Jinhai felt like her sorry held none of the above reasons?
It felt like she did nothing wrong, yet she was obliged to say it.
It felt like she was innocent, yet she was forced to admit a mistake she never did.
It felt like she was standing and suffering there...all over again.
It felt like he made her relive a past she desperately wanted to bury.
Yes. That was what it was.
He saw her shaking. He saw her trembling. Like a gush of mories flooded her mind. Like she knew any attempt to explain herself would just be futile. So, she made the split-second decision. What her conditioned reflex made her do.
To say sorry.
And that made Liu Jinhai, for the first ti in his life, very very guilty. He realized he misunderstood her. Her sorry had not held the aning of getting exposed in her intentions, which there weren't any.
Her sorry told a very different story.
---
Nana ran and ran. Like she wanted to escape from sothing. Tears were threatening to fall. But she didn't cry.
She quickly got into a car and told the driver her address. The man stared at her in confusion but quickly ca out of it and started to drive.
The whole way she thought nothing. She just stared out of the window.
The man was in his forties and was a quite perceptive man. He imdiately figured sothing was wrong. He could see from her pale face that she was feeling terrible. He thought maybe he could say sothing to console her.
What if she tries to hurt herself in despair? Kids these days were too sensitive to bear any insults.
"Child, did you have a fight with your boyfriend?"
Nana was in a daze when she heard the question. She widened her eyes.
Boyfriend?
"No, I don't have a boyfriend.", she quickly corrected.
"Really? You are so pretty that I thought you must definitely be dating. And perhaps you had a fight with your boyfriend."
Liu Jinhai's face suddenly ca in her mind.
"Nohe is not my boyfriend."
"Is that so? Is he your good friend then?"
"No. He is soone I coincidentally t after a long ti. We are only acquaintances through a mutual person."
"Then why are you in so much pain? You both are not close enough for his words to hurt you that much. Then why are you feeling sad?" he asked.
Nana stiffened.
Yes. Up until now she never felt sad when people talked behind her back. Or when soone accused her. She had never let those things get to her. Because she knew she would have to hear them her whole life. So she just smiled and ignored them.
But when Liu Jinhai uttered those sa words, she couldn't help but feel...torn. It was like a thousand needles were piercing her heart. She felt that he would be the last person to say those things.
But he did.
And then sothing about him in her heart broke apart. She didn't know what. She didn't know why out of all the people, only his words affected her that much.
"I don't know.", she said.
"Don't worry child. Sotis so things and feelings are inexplicable to us. We don't understand them. It does not have any logical reasons and yet, we think about them. And yet, we feel them. Humans are very mysterious creatures.", he shook his head helplessly.
She couldn't help but laugh softly.
"Mm. You look more pretty when you smile. Don't worry. Everything will be fine", after a pause he asked, "Will you forgive him if he apologizes?"
She smiled sadly. "I don't think there is anything for to forgive. I was the one who apologized. It was my mistake. It is up to him to forgive or not."
The man beca silent.
"Child, don't think about it too much. Life is much more than so hurtful words bouncing here and there."
Nana now genuinely smiled.
"Thank you so much, sir. I really feel much better now."
"My pleasure.", he felt proud.
After a while, she arrived at Natsukashi. Before leaving she said, "Once again thank you so much, sir. I felt good talking to you." Then an idea struck her. "Sir, why don't you co inside? This is my restaurant. As a thank, you treat I will make sothing good for you."
"Oh no, dear. I still got so work." Just then his phone beeped. He frowned.
"So I have to-" But then his stomach grumbled. He felt embarrassed. He denied her treat but now it can be clearly heard that he was hungry.
She smiled. "Sir, it won't really take much ti."
He cleared his throat, "S-sure. If you insist."
Nana was delighted.
In ten minutes, she served him a hot bowl of shoyu ran.
He was already drooling. It had been a while since he had ran!
He took one bite and got so engrossed in it that he finished the entire bowl in rely two minutes.
"Now this is what I call a real treat."
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