"...What?"
For a mont, I wondered if I had misheard her.
But when I asked again, she repeated herself with an unchanging expression.
"Tonight, stay by my side. That is the command I give you, Swen."
After saying that, Serpina let out a quiet chuckle and slowly emptied her glass.
So... she was asking to spend the night with her?
"Are you requesting a bodyguard?"
"If that was ant to be a joke, I must apologize, but it is not very amusing."
"No... I was not joking."
Of course, I hadn’t ant it as a joke.
I didn’t actually believe she was asking for protection.
‘Could it be...?’
Serpina watched intently before breaking into an amused smile.
"If I told you I was asking you to warm my bed tonight, would that make you angry?"
"I would not be angry. How could I possibly be angry with my lord?"
"Fufu. Swen. You say that, yet your expression looks rather troubled. Am I truly that unappealing to you?"
"...That is not the issue."
"Then answer my question properly."
I swallowed a sigh and decided to play along with her ga.
"You are an exceptionally attractive woman, my lord. I am certain that others see you the sa way, and of course, I do as well."
"Then why do you look so conflicted?"
It wasn’t that I disliked her.
But becoming entangled with her was dangerous.
Especially when she was intoxicated, when the situation placed —a vassal—into a compromising position with my ruler.
I had no noble house backing , no political faction to protect .
If things went south, I could easily be eliminated.
And even if things went well, that presented its own set of problems.
Serpina was fated to lose. She could not unify the continent. Luna would defeat her one day.
I would leave her side eventually.
If I allowed our relationship to deepen, it would only make things more complicated when that ti ca.
There was no need to throw myself into a minefield for the sake of fleeting desire.
Even now, the lingering taste of citrus haunted my thoughts, pulling at my emotions stronger than ever—
But this was a mont I had to endure.
"...You are quite intoxicated, my lord."
"Are you avoiding ? I am being completely serious."
"I am not avoiding you. If you are truly serious, would it not be best to discuss this when we are both of sound mind?"
At my words, Serpina’s eyes widened slightly.
Good. She was caught off guard. That ant I could deflect the situation more easily.
"That being said, while I cannot share your bed, I can certainly spend ti with you tonight. I have nothing pressing to attend to, after all."
"You are more virtuous than I expected. Or... could it be that soone else has already taken a place in your heart?"
"..."
"I have more to say, but I will not push further. I do not wish to earn your hatred, Swen. Did I not already tell you? I want to make you mine. And I will do everything in my power to win you over."
She laughed softly and drained her glass once more.
I followed suit, taking a sip of my own wine.
The subtle bitterness, the faint taste of grapes, left a pleasant warmth in my throat.
After that, neither of us spoke.
We simply exchanged glances in silence.
I remained quiet, sensing that this was a mont to listen rather than to speak.
Several minutes passed before Serpina finally parted her lips to speak again.
"Swen. I am... terribly lonely."
Her golden eyes drifted to her empty glass.
Her voice, almost a whisper, carried the weight of confession—
"I have never stopped running. Driven by the mission to rebuild my fallen empire, I never allowed myself to rest. Even when I had no one beside , I endured. A ruler must be able to withstand solitude. Whether I wanted it or not, I was born with Eingart’s blood. I thought it only natural that I should carry these burdens alone."
Silently, I refilled her glass.
Without a word, she lifted it to her lips and drank.
Everything about the exchange felt natural, as if it had always been this way.
"One of the vows I made as a ruler was that I would trust those who stood by my side. After all, in this chaotic era, they are the only ones working for my sake. But... how many tis now have I been betrayed? How many tis have I watched those I trusted walk away? Those who once spoke of the future we would build together—how quickly they turned their blades against . It is almost laughable, is it not?"
"My lord..."
"Yesterday, all the captured rebels were executed. I cannot forget the looks in their eyes as they stared at —their hatred, their resentnt. They were the sa people who once swore loyalty to . And I..."
She took another sip of wine, her gaze growing distant.
"It pains . It feels as though this was all my fault. That these were mistakes I could have prevented. That their deaths were the result of my own failings."
She had seen countless betrayals.
What must it feel like, to watch those you trusted secretly sharpen their knives against you?
And for it to happen over and over, every few months?
Any ordinary person would have broken under the weight of it long ago.
Even I wasn’t sure I could have stayed sane in her place.
Had she relied on alcohol instead of people to cope?
For the first ti, I found myself sympathizing with her.
"I have lost count of how many tis this has happened. They # Nоvеlight # claim to follow Sidmid’s cause, to uphold Algott’s legacy... My long-dead brothers have haunted like ghosts for years. Every ti I feel their presence, I wonder—am I truly doing the right thing? Do I even belong on this throne?"
Her golden eyes shimred with exhaustion.
The unshakable ruler, the woman who had always exuded untouchable charisma—at this mont, she looked more fragile than I had ever seen her.
She reminded of Airen back when she had still been under Brans Army—
Back when she had clung to a loyalty that would never be reciprocated, when the weight of her own beliefs had left her so vulnerable that a single misstep could have shattered her entirely.
Right now, Serpina looked exactly like that.
"Swen, answer . How much more blood must I spill? Simply because I was placed upon this throne, I must continue to cut down my own people—not enemies, but those who once fought alongside . How many more must I kill with my own hands?"
"..."
I hesitated.
Her question—
I ran it through my mind, hoping for so kind of answer.
But all I got was the sa aningless response as always.
[Unknown.]
If only I could offer her so grand, reassuring words.
If only I could lie and tell her that the bloodshed would end.
"I see. I already knew the answer. I cannot afford to waver. I do not have that right."
She let out a bitter laugh, her lips curving into an empty smile.
"I inherited Eingart’s will. It is my duty to unify this continent."
I watched her, considering my next words carefully.
A textbook response surfaced in my mind.
This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.
‘My lord, you must remain steadfast. If you show weakness, they will only take advantage of it, and the stability of the nation will crumble.’
That was the correct thing to say.
The logical thing to say.
I should just say that and be done with it.
But instead—
"...My lord."
"Speak."
"I will not tell you to harden your heart."
"..."
Serpina stared at with those sorrowful golden eyes—
And in that mont, I found myself unable to offer her a calculated answer.
"This is an era of chaos. But even so, no one ever truly becos accustod to killing. If one is to endure such tis, there must be monts where they allow themselves to breathe. That is why..."
I took a deep breath before continuing.
"For tonight, perhaps it would not be so terrible to allow yourself to be weak."
"..."
After glancing around the room, I reached for an empty glass from the cabinet and poured her another drink.
"You said, 'I cannot afford to be weak over sothing like this.' But this is not just 'sothing like this.' We are speaking of taking the lives of dozens—your own soldiers, n and won who once swore loyalty to you. To learn that those you trusted have been secretly sharpening their blades against you... It is not a weight to be taken lightly. Whether a sovereign or a commoner, there are few who can take the lives of others without consequence."
"Swen..."
Was this sympathy?
Or was it an attempt to win her favor?
Or perhaps—
What exactly was this emotion I was feeling?
The only thing I could say with certainty was that I wanted to be there for her.
That, above all else, was the one truth that shone the brightest.
For a long while, Serpina simply gazed at , her face slightly flushed from the wine.
Then, at last, she spoke.
"Swen. Can you not be with ?"
"As I said, I serve you as part of your army. Is that not enough?"
"...You will not leave my side?"
"Of course—"
It would have been so easy to say it.
To simply answer, "Of course not."
But the words never made it past my lips.
Because—
In the face of Serpina, who was so close to breaking, I found myself incapable of lying.
"Swen... You may not realize this, but my life has been nothing but a series of days where I could never trust anyone."
Her voice was quiet—her words steady, but heavy.
"The generals I trusted called a witch and plotted my execution. The advisors I relied on secretly conspired to assassinate . Every single one of them asked for my trust, and I—foolishly—believed them. I gave them everything they requested, and yet... the outco was always the sa. They all left ."
Her golden eyes locked onto mine.
"But you... you were different. You never once asked to trust you. Instead, you simply showed results. You asked for nothing in return, yet you were always there—without a trace, without seeking recognition, rooting out two rebellions and even saving my life."
Of course, I never demanded her trust.
Because, quite frankly, I had no idea what justified it myself.
It was simply the course of events.
But for Serpina, it had clearly ant sothing more.
"I only did what needed to be done."
"Yes. That is exactly what I expected you to say."
She let out a small, bitter laugh before shaking her head.
"If you had made any demands of , perhaps I could have held onto you."
"..."
"But it does not matter. I still have ti."
"Ti?"
"Ti to persuade you, Swen."
She smiled then—
And for the first ti, I realized how childishly innocent that expression seed.
"It may be embarrassing to say this myself, but... I am, in fact, quite an attractive woman. If I can manage to win your heart, then even if I were to tell you to leave, you would not, would you? Fufu."
Serpina raised her glass toward .
It didn’t take much to realize she wanted a toast.
The crisp, clear sound of glass eting glass filled the quiet room.
"You said it yourself. That you would stay with tonight. I hope you will keep that promise, Swen."
"...I will."
And so, I stayed with her that night.
Had I wanted to, I could have refused.
She wasn’t trying to pressure . If I had declined, she likely would have let go without argunt.
But—
Right now, as she wavered, as she teetered on the edge—
I wanted to stay by her side.
And the reason for that—
"I was placed upon this throne. That was all."
Those were her words.
And that one phrase—
Made wonder if, before she ascended the throne, there were things no one knew about her past.
Perhaps there were secrets that even I did not know.
In the end—
Staying beside her was my own choice.
And I could not deny—
That, for the first ti—
My heart wavered.
Reviews
All reviews (0)