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Chapter 182 – The Kiss Under The Plum Tree

There was only a hair's distance between us. I could feel his shock as his breath caught, his lips slightly trembling. My heart pounded, and I wasn't sure if it was still from anger or from my own nervous anticipation.

I hadn't asked him to kiss purely out of impulse. As much as I was mad at his attempt to fool and arrange everything for without my consent, it was the reason behind why he did these that hurt the most. He didn't believe in how much he ant to . He didn't believe my feelings for him were sothing that could never be replaced. And that was why he was still trying to push away, because he didn't think that his death would leave an unhealable scar over my heart. He saw no point in even trying to fight for a chance, because he thought that the sooner I let him perish, the sooner I'd be able to start a new life without being trapped by our painful past.

That may have been what my past self had told him, but it was no longer how I felt or wished for in this life. I had to make him understand the difference … and I had to show him how wrong he was, all along.

"Bai Ye," I softened my voice and said. "I'm waiting."

His hesitance made my heart sink a little, but I gave him ti. I knew he had his own battle to fight, and I didn't want to scare him away by pushing too hard. So I waited patiently until finally, after what seed like an eternity, he moved. With the tiniest tilt of his head, his cold lips t mine.

It was a re peck. The barest touch, and the next mont, he had leaned back, heaving a slight sigh as if relieved from accomplishing his goal. Speechlessly, I stared at him. "Again," I demanded. "That couldn't possibly count."

He stiffened. "Qing-er—"

"Again."

Defeatedly, he gave another peck. But this ti, before he had the chance to pull away, I slipped my hand behind his nape, holding him in place, and I parted his lips with my tongue.

He started resisting almost by instinct, grasping my shoulder and trying to push away. My heart sank so more, though I didn't give in. Slipping my tongue into his mouth, I deepened the kiss, fighting his stubbornness with my persistence.

He felt so different from before. Without the usual incense from his wardrobe, the familiar scent of cedar was gone. The taste of fresh herbs was replaced by a faint whiff of blood. Even the coolness of his lips felt foreign, lifeless to the touch. A dull pain stabbed . Was this also why he wanted to keep at arm's length? Because of how much things had changed … because he didn't want to disappoint with a reality that was no longer the way I rembered?

Then that was even more reason why I had to prove him wrong. Things might have been different now, and he might have changed, but I hadn't. I was still here, still in love with him, even more than before.

"Bai Ye," I whispered against his lips. "Do you still rember that sumr night under the plum tree outside my room … when you cornered at the door and asked why I was avoiding you?" I couldn't help but smile at the mory. "Do you rember … how you kissed back then?"

I knew he wouldn't give a response, so I didn't wait for one. Looping an arm over his back, I held him in a gentle embrace, and I sealed my lips against his once more.

I let myself rember that night, reliving the mory that was one of the most precious monts of my life. I let myself rember the warmth of his embrace, the soft tickle of his breath over my cheeks, the blurry shadow of his long lashes when I stared at him in disbelief as his lips t mine. I let myself rember the heat of his body burning like fire, the scent and taste of him sweeping over like a tide, the soft caress of his tongue and my clumsy response. I let myself rember the overwhelming love and cherishnt I felt from that kiss, and I gave him the sa, telling him wordlessly what he had told back then with that intimate surprise.

He didn't respond to at first. But then I felt the tip of his tongue brushing over mine in a soft, almost uncertain touch. The hand pushing on my shoulder started to relax. Inch by inch, it slipped down my side, stopping just over my waist.

He was still hesitant, I knew. Clasping my hand over his, I helped him finish that embrace. "Hold ," I breathed into his mouth. "And don't let go ever again. Don't even think of making leave you or forget about you. It won't work … Do you know why?"

I brushed my lips over his again. "Because you are the one who taught this … and many more. You didn't only give a new life, Bai Ye. You showed what life could be like and should be like, and you are the reason why every day of my new existence is bright and full of hope. No one else can ever take your place, no matter how well you plan it for , because no one else knows as well as you do, and no one else makes my heart leap the way it does every ti I see you."

I pressed myself closer to him, feeling the harmonious rhythm of our heartbeats against each other. "If you die, my heart dies with you." I closed my eyes and circled my arms lightly around his neck. "So co back to , for my sake.. Because I need you … Because I love you, for as long as I live."

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