Boys' Talk at a Boring Tavern
「Looks like it's my win, huh, Mirko?」
「No, there's still a chance for a coback. You don't see it? Mongrel... this faint but sparkling path to hope...」
「Huh? Are you being serious? Sorry, I'm not very good at this ga, so I honestly don't get it.」
「... I see. So, even to your eyes, the ga's not decided yet. Kukuku, you let your guard down. Now, the match is even again. Well then, if I make this move... how will you respond!?」
「Ahh! There, huh... Is it that bad if you play there? I have no idea...」
「Kukuku... Even I can't read this move myself... you can take your ti over it...」
Since there aren't any decent missions right now, today I've just been lazing around the guild's tavern since noon.
There's always a certain number of guild mbers who just kill ti, waiting in the hope that an easy, ergency gig will co up that pays well. Even though spring is busy with a lot of missions, you can't work nonstop, so it'd be unfair to call these guys lazy.
Right now, besides , the guys from 『Shield of the Earth』 and 『Sword of the Harvest』 are here, making the tavern unusually lively.
Thanks to that, I haven't had any trouble finding an opponent for this board ga of mine.
「Mongrel... what do you think of the board, eh? Kukuku...」
「Honestly? I have no clue.」
「What a coincidence, sa here...!」
My opponent is Mirko, a swordsman from Shield of the Earth.
He's got the cool look and vague way of talking that won like, but in reality he's a bit slow on the uptake.
You can probably guess the rest from the fact that a newbie like
is battling it out with him in a board ga where neither of us know the rules well. For the record, I can't even play on equal footing with anyone except Mirko.
Man, I wish I could et soone even weaker than .
「Sheesh, the Basin guys need to do so more extermination for a change, huh? Why do we have to go all the way out to their fields to clean up their riffraff—are they slacking off over there or what?」
「We can't help it, Chuck. Lately, there's been more and more guild mbers transferring their base from other branches to Regor, so we're short-handed...」
「If they're going to reorganize, they should just do it in one go! Skimping on pay and making us go on expeditions—it's the worst! Our party can't even all join developnt missions together anymore!」
「Sounds like you Sword of the Harvest guys have it tough too.」
「How's it been for you lately, Alex?」
「Well, just like you see. We want to do sothing, but the small fry exterminations don't pay enough... so we thought we'd wait for the expedition group to get back before deciding.」
「So you guys are bored too, huh... we're all bored, aren't we...」
Spring's the season of small ga. But there aren't many gigs in spring that net you big money in one shot. It's all missions dealing with minor threats.
No matter how much you work, you barely earn anything. It's no wonder so guild mbers get fed up with it.
With the city's expansion construction booming, working there almost pays better. I get why heading out on expeditions for peanuts, while ignoring solid local jobs, can start to feel stupid.
In that sense, Artemis and Sapling's Staff are playing it smart. Because they almost always act as a group, they're organized and don't waste effort.
Shield of the Earth and Sword of the Harvest, who are here now, are-nimble enough, but when it cos to sniffing out tasty missions, they always seem a step or two behind.
「... Hey, which of the girls from Sapling's Staff do you like the best?」
「Co on again with that, Chuck... Dickbald's not even here?」
「Who cares if he's not! These are the best kinds of talks!」
Seems like they're taking advantage of the lack of female guild mbers in the bar to start so classic boys' talk.
Seriously—these guys have the brains of middle school boys.
「How about this move!」
「... Oof.」
Ah, crap. I'm about to lose. Seriously? I really didn't want to lose to Mirko.
「Chuck! Let
in on that conversation too!」
「Hey! Mongrel, that's cheating!」
「It's all good—let's keep talking! Oh, and I've got so pickles Granny Dahlia gave
this morning, let's snack on those while we chat!」
No way, you brought pickles? Lucky! Gim so!
Ever since I ca to this world, I've co to love pickled stuff. Healthy, tasty, makes the booze go down easy—perfect food.
「Mongrel, you get along with Sapling's Staff's leader, right? That Sally person?」
「Ah, Sally. Well, Regor used to be her old base, so we've known each other for a while—but I can't say we're close, exactly.」
「She's kind of inscrutable, but she's got a good figure... even if she is kinda creepy...」
「She's got a lovely face, but... when I saw her cover her ale with her hand, shake it up to kill the fizz, and then start drinking, I couldn't believe my eyes...」
「Yeah, that was scary...」
「Sally's definitely an oddball.」
「Coming from you, Mongrel, that's saying sothing...」
「Alex, what was that? You trash-talking
at board gas now?」
「Did you think you'd actually win at least there...?」
「Hey, you three—don't leave
out, I wanna join in too—」
Ah, Mirko's back. Now all four guys are huddled around. What a sad little table.
Though, truth is, Mirko's married, so he's already on the winning team here.
「Mirko, who are you interested in among the guild girls?」
「Co on, Chuck, he's married...」
「Kukuku... right... Well, I'd say I like Artemis's Nastasha. Those boobs, man...」
「Wait! Are you divorced!?」
「I'm not?」
「Right!? ... You just answer that normally... Maybe being married lets you joke about this sort of thing...」
「No? Just don't tell my wife.」
「You really just blurt it out knowing the risk...」
「Bigger boobs are better.」
「Well... I won't say I don't get it...」
In this world—in Halperia, at least—guys' sexual preferences lean more toward the hips than the chest, if anything. Most guys think butts are hotter than boobs.
Also, even girls in their mid-teens, who'd be called barely out of childhood in my old world, get openly hit on. People don't freak out about this stuff.
It's not like being "into young girls" is especially praised, but nobody treats you like a criminal or anything for it either.
All n, for their whole lives, yearn for high-school girls... whose words were those again? Nietzsche? Can't rember. Might've been .
At any rate, nobody looks down too harshly on guys for liking younger girls. People grow up and get married early here, after all. Maybe that ans the morals of my modern, past life were the odd ones out.
「For ... there's Momo from Sapling's Staff! You know, that petite, sleepy-eyed kid! She's tiny now, but she'll be a real beauty soday—」
「Uh...」
「What, Chuck, you didn't know? Momo is Sally's daughter.」
「... Wait, what!? Sally's married!?」
「Her husband died right after they had their kid. She's a widow.」
Sally's what, 31 now? Two years older than . Her daughter, Momo, was born when Sally was sixteen... so she's 15 now. Ti flies, huh...
「How old is Sally, again?」
「She's actually older than she looks, isn't she?」
「Kukuku... about 30, I think?」
「She's 31 for sure.」
「No way! She looks about 25! Wait... she has a kid...?」
She doesn't dote on her kid, or at least it doesn't look like it.
Back when they used to be based in Regor, their relationship seed a bit cold or businesslike—more like a party raising a child together, not mother and daughter. And from what I've seen lately, that hasn't changed.
But according to other Sapling's Staff mbers, Sally's the one who tutors Momo in magic.
Honestly, I don't want to dig too deep into other people's family stuff.
If the kid doesn't seem unhappy, I figure it's all fine.
「I don't have those sorts of feelings toward guild mbers, not really... or maybe I try not to...」
「Oh, right, that thing before... the legendary party-crasher...」
「Mirko, please, if you bring that up my heart's going to start pounding again...」
「Sorry, I'll drop it.」
That brings back mories—The legendary Party-Crasher, who, after playing around and chewing through all the Shield of the Earth n, finally landed a rich rchant from the royal city and left on a sweet gig...
Thanks to that, Shield of the Earth was all traumatized about won for a while afterward. Poor guys.
「Mongrel, you get along with the Artemis girls too... Raina, that's fine and all, but even making a move on Ulrika, too—」
「Hey, Ulrika... and what's with 'Raina's fine, but...'? Aren't you too harsh on Raina?」
「Raina just doesn't feel much like a girl, y'know?」
「I get it. She's honest and cute.」
「Kuku... she's a serious, good sort. Not very sexy, though...」
Raina... yeah, she's pretty flat and tiny...
But Ulrika's even more hopeless... since he's a guy...
Then again, for
to say he's a guy might not even fly, so I'll keep my mouth shut.
「Ulrika's chest is flat, but man, her butt's great...」
「Kukuku... agreed... she's got a nice butt...」
「Mirko, your wife's going to kill you! ... Well, out of all the single, untouchable Artemis girls, she is the only one who treats you like a normal friend, so I can kind of understand...」
「So Mongrel, why does Ulrika get friendly with you...? Set
up with her—let
et Chuck!」
「Ulrika probably already knows who you are.」
「Huh... Did she say sothing about ...?」
「Not a word.」
「Aaah! I wanna be popular!」
「I know I'm one to talk, but... that sort of attitude's the reason you're not.」
「Anyway, Chuck, I thought you had a thing for Elena at the counter. What happened with Elena?」
「Elena-chan's the real deal! But having a side dish or two is fine, right!?」
「Kukuku... I can't say I don't get the feeling...」
「Mirko, aren't you unhappy in your married life...?」
「Not at all?」
「Okay then...」
「... Chuck, just so you know. You might think it's fine to say all this since Elena's not here, but I'm pretty sure Mylene's listening in on us.」
When I glanced over at reception, I made eye contact with Mylene, who smiled calmly back at .
I tried waving to her, but she totally ignored
with a smile.
「So... Mylene could tell Elena about everything we just said...」
「That's a real risk, you know.」
「... But wait. That ans... I've just let it slip to Elena—indirectly—that I like her, right!? Maybe this is what they call the 'strategy of love'!?」
For so reason, Chuck said this with total confidence, and the three of us just silently drank our booze.
There's always that weird mystery about why so guys are popular, but for the ones who aren't, you can sort of guess the reason...
Watching Chuck, I start thinking about stuff like that.
Mylene, with nobody else at reception, was jotting down so mo, still smiling...
-------------= Clacky's Corner -------------=
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