The Injury of the Three Heroes and Counterasure Equipnt
After that night, having drunk to my heart's content, I headed back to the inn.
Raina was worried about my journey back, but I assured her I wasn't drunk enough to throw up on the roadside. In fact, I'd be more concerned about Raina walking alone at night after escorting
back. I accepted her concern gracefully, returned to my room, and drifted off to sleep, reminiscing the taste of whiskey.
The next day's plan was clear. I decided to undertake a cleaning mission to tidy up the streets dirty from the festival.
The dining etiquette outside was nowhere near the chaos of Halloween in Shibuya. The streets were in such a state of lawlessness and filth that it was hard to imagine wanting to live in this city. At the very least, I needed to clean the path I frequently used.
However, upon arriving at the guild, I found, unusually, that Dickbald and the others were present.
Even Alectra, the deputy leader, looked exhausted from a hangover but had already arrived, fully equipped.
What on earth were the high-ranking mbers of the Sword of the Harvest all gathered here for?
Curious, I lightly inquired about the situation and soon realized it was far more serious than I had imagined.
「Three guild mbers were injured... wait, you're...」
「—They received healing from a healer, so there's no concern of any aftereffects. —I was careless... I should have guided them better...」
The day before, three male guild mbers had been injured. They belonged to different parties with no connections. Their only shared experience was likely drinking at the guild the previous night.
What had happened? We still didn't know.
However, all three n had reportedly inserted sword handles into their rear ends, which then beca impossible to remove.
「—Fortunately, it was a shortsword. If it had been a longsword, a different kind of tragedy might have occurred...」
「... Captain, please spare
the dirty talk. My head already hurts... I don't need any more of this...」
To cutting to the chase:
This was it.
These n, in pursuit of unknown pleasures, had ended up sticking shortswords into themselves.
Of course, they denied doing any such thing intentionally.
「Oh? No, we were just drunk and ssing around. By the ti we realized it, we couldn't pull them out.」
That's the sort of statent they reportedly gave.
But three n rushing to the clinic with shortswords sticking out on the sa day is no coincidence in my mind. Such mischievous acts didn't just randomly coincide like so hellish joke.
I genuinely felt sorry for the healer who had to attend to them that day. I hoped it wasn't Caspar in charge then.
I was truly grateful that in this world, we had healers and potions. Without them, those n might have died with shortswords stuck in them. In the world of the Three Kingdoms, they would likely have died of septic shock before getting an infection - a shaful death, leaving behind nothing but disgrace.
Thankfully, no one died from this drunken stupidity I had shared, or it wouldn't have been just displeasing, it would have been unbearable. Only ass. Gahaha... Not funny.
By the way, these three n who needed the clinic's help have been deed as the "Three Heroes of Regor.」
Frankly, I couldn't care less.
「—We must prevent the ergence of a 'second' or 'third' set of 'Three Heroes'. People naturally seek pleasure... but without the proper knowledge, it can transform into excruciating pain or disaster. —To prevent such tragedies from repeating, I plan to spend so ti warning against foreign body insertion.」
「Yeah... well, you're right... I'd feel terrible for them to end up injured...」
「—Mongrel is not at fault. People seek pleasure naturally. ... However, as those who forge the path, it is our duty to guide those who follow correctly. That is all.」
「Uh, please don't treat
like so trailblazer.」
「—Therefore, I decided to post this on the bulletin board. It is a notice about the precautions when inserting foreign objects. Alectra helped compile it, and we've just finished it.」
「Listen to , Mongrel... the leader keeps trying to add unnecessary advice...」
「... Good luck with that.」
The small parchnt poster highlighted the key points to consider when playing around with one's behind.
Insert objects that can be easily removed. Avoid anything that isn't smooth. Additionally, use diluted gelatin sli paste, mixing it with water to create a purifying lubricant... Wait, what? Is that the gelatin sli's alternative use? But really, should this kind of act be done right after the Spirit Festival? It's like turning the moon's embodint into a paste and using it as a ritual of evil—what witchery.
「—Exploration of the unknown isn't bad. But, as guild mbers, we shouldn't tread with reckless bravery. We should always be prepared, even if our stride remains slow...」
You're saying good things, but this is still a conversation about sticking foreign objects up your rear...
「Ahh, why are n such fools. I never imagined even Mongrel, who seemingly has no luck with romance, to be this stupid.」
「I don't stick weird things in myself...」
「——Let's just say that's the case.」
「That is the case. Stop looking at
like that.」
Still, I didn't want an increase in guild mbers ssing up their rears due to sothing I caused. Not because of pity or apologies, but simply because I didn't like it.
To avoid a future where I'm called "The Man Who Ruined All the Guild mbers' Rears in Regor
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