“……”
It was dinner ti.
Today’s shooting had ended, and as everyone was slowly wrapping things up, I stayed next to Ahn Hyeon-ho, who was sitting on a bench.
He glanced at with resentful, angry eyes, tried to say sothing, but eventually just sighed deeply and shook his head.
“It’s all because of you.”
I understand his desire to bla , but ultimately, the choice was his to make.
“You… man you- you rushed in too fast.”
No matter how much you like Choi Yiseo, you can’t just go confess to her out of the blue.
It wasn’t like a scourge, but seeing him push his face forward, I couldn’t help but quickly avoid the spot.
“You didn’t explain it to in detail.”
Looking at Ahn Hyeon-ho, who continued to bla while covering his face, I could only sigh.
It didn’t seem like he truly believed it was his fault, but rather that he just needed soone to place the bla, which felt sowhat pitiful to .
“Sigh… if you were popular in high school, didn’t you date a lot? Why are you so inexperienced when it cos to it?”
Didn’t those kids just rotate among each other, dating multiple people?
“That was only because the girls ca to .”
“Just go and die already.”
The audacity he had was so absurd that a clicking of the tongue was inevitable at his words.
After all, in middle and high school, looks and strength are prioritized over grades, so soone like Ahn Hyeon-ho would have been considered a top catch.
Imagining the battles among students to win a good-looking guy over just made feel even more disgusted.
If girls approached him just because he opened his mouth, what was there to study?
“Anyway, are you giving up on Yiseo now? It’s the first ti I’ve seen her make such a fierce expression at soone.”
“…How much did you see?”
“I ran away right after seeing you confess. Gore isn’t really my preferred genre.”
Wasn’t it practically an ‘Ahn Hyeon-ho dismbernt’ show?
It was a ti when Ahn Hyeon-ho’s limbs were bursting out from here and there, just without the bloodshed.
“I see.”
Ahn Hyeon-ho looked sowhat relieved.
Then, he clenched his fist and answered.
“It’s too early to give up. It’s hard to find a girl like Yiseo.”
“……”
I wanted to agree, but I didn’t. It seed like it would just create a subtly awkward atmosphere between us.
“What about you?”
“Hm? ?”
“You’re interested in Yiseo too. That’s why you confessed, and you’re going to try to date her seriously in the second sester, aren’t you?”
“Ah…”
It was difficult to answer.
I had no intention of being a CC, so the chances of developing a romantic relationship with Choi Yiseo were rather slim.
Honestly, I’ve recently felt that those walls are gradually crumbling.
This is probably because as ti goes by with mories of Oh Yoon-ji, Seo Yerin and Choi Yiseo kept knocking the wall down…
“I don’t know.”
That was my honest feeling.
It was a topic difficult to share with anyone, but since Ahn Hyeon-ho was not important to at all, I felt it was sowhat easier to open up.
“Don’t be jealous if I end up dating Yiseo.”
What would my heart feel like then?
Thinking that it needs a cold diagnosis, but as soon as I closed my eyes, the expression Choi Yiseo had when looking at Ahn Hyeon-ho ca to mind.
“Will that be okay?”
That was the only answer which ca from .
“Fuck.”
Ahn Hyeon-ho also seems to acknowledge it, heaving a deep sigh as he sweeps his bangs back.
While we were unintentionally having this deep conversation, it seed like the others had finished packing up and were approaching us from the other side.
“Tsk.”
Choi Yiseo clicked her tongue as she looked at .
“Huh?”
It was precisely Ahn Hyeon-ho was looking at, which caught off guard.
The sight of Choi Yiseo genuinely being annoyed with was quite precious to see, yet it imdiately made wonder what I had done to wrong her.
“Sorry…”
But unexpectedly.
Hearing Ahn Hyeon-ho’s apology from beside , I found myself glaring at him without realizing.
“Why are you sorry?”
Seeing Ahn Hyeon-ho trying to sneakily stand up while avoiding my gaze made feel even more uneasy.
I quickly grab the hem of his clothes, making him sit back down, and ask.
“What are you sorry for, you bastard?”
“That…”
That? what?
“The confession strategy… I told her that you told about it.”
“Huh?”
“That- at that ti, I was so flustered that I thought I had to make up so excuse for what I did…!”
Is he fucking insane?!
“Hey! I just told you that such a thod exists, when did I ever say to rush to Choi Yiseo right away and give her an honest deep confession?!”
I imdiately started beating Ahn Hyeon-ho with my fist. He seed really sorry for what he did, and only putting up his hands to not get hurt at all, which made even angrier.
“Sorry… I really am sorry.”
So now, in Choi Yiseo’s eyes, I am.
A unique piece of shit trying to introduce the girl he likes to another guy.
As Choi Yiseo approached closer, I made eye contact.
Choi Yiseo mouths sothing to with her lips, unnoticed by Yu Arin and Seo Yerin next to her.
“You think it’s cool?”
Not at all.
“Are you thirsty?”
“It’s not that.”
“It’s not?”
Choi Yiseo imdiately raises her finger.
Thanks to her repeating it once more, I finally understood what she was saying.
“Ah, you an I will die?”
As I saw her nodding, instead of feeling the satisfaction of getting the answer right, a sigh naturally escaped from my mouth.
“It’s not like that, I’m telling you!”
After parting with the other mbers of the group, I was returning ho with Choi Yiseo, making excuses in my own way.
No, not excuses.
I was confirming the facts.
“So it’s not, then?”
Choi Yiseo asks with a sly expression.
The cold eyes which were directed towards earlier had softened a lot.
“You know, I told you the last ti that I confessed. That was just an excuse I made up on the spot. Why would I tell him to confess to you?”
Did my sincerity reach her?
It seems that Choi Yiseo’s heart had softened a little.
“You misunderstood.”
Choi Yiseo said as she slowly approached .
“Right? So, next ti, before you start beating up, could you at least listen to what I have to say before you hit ?”
“…It was beyond my control.”
Thanks to her rushing at with fists raised right after parting with the others, I just ended up getting neatly beaten.
From Choi Yiseo’s perspective, she must have felt like I was trying to keep my distance from her by deliberately introducing Ahn Hyeon-ho, so I understand her reason for reacting like that.
Anyway, now that the misunderstanding is resolved and things have beco a bit more comfortable, Choi Yiseo starts to grumble under her breath.
“What do I do about Hyeon-ho now? Ah, why did he have to confess!”
As I ntioned before, given their positions as the representative and vice representative, the two were bound to clash or get involved with each other in daily activities.
In the midst of that, Ahn Hyeon-ho went ahead and confessed, leaving only awkwardness for their coming etings.
Earlier, Ahn Hyeon-ho felt awkward being around Choi Yiseo and so left on his own accord.
“Well, you’ll have to try your best. To not be awkward.”
“……”
I replied, thinking I could give a satisfactory answer to her problem, but it seems like it wasn’t the response she was hoping for.
With her cheeks slightly puffed, Choi Yiseo asked ,
“What would you have done if I really dated Hyeon-ho?”
“You’re asking that?”
“No, I an, I could get tired of you and go for another guy. Life is a real battle. You know?”
That’s true.
I think I had a similar thought earlier.
“What can I do?”
This was my attempt at a right answer. After all, Choi Yiseo doesn’t say anything when she sees mingling with other girls.
Even knowing that I spent a night with Seo Yerin, she couldn’t say anything to because she wasn’t my girlfriend.
To put it bluntly.
We’re friends.
We might have crossed the line slightly at the start, but that was the extent of our relationship.
“Just like you don’t say anything to , I can’t say anything to you if you et other n.”
If she were to date soone else, I could at least congratulate and support you.
Choi Yiseo glares at with an expression of extre annoyance.
“Do you have that kind of preference? Like, having things taken away from you?”
“Are you crazy?”
How could anyone possibly like that?
Well, there might be people with such preferences. There are people in the world who enjoy eating poop, after all.
But I can confidently say that I’m not one of those incomprehensible types.
“I’m definitely not into that kind of thing.”
As I firmly respond, Choi Yiseo crosses her arms and pushes for an answer.
“Then, why can’t you speak directly? Can’t you at least tell not to go to another man?”
“I don’t have the right to do that…”
Right?
Adding that word, Choi Yiseo seed to get upset again, biting her lip.
“You’ll never say what I want to hear, will you?”
“……”
Sighing, Choi Yiseo looks around. We’re almost ho, but she stops walking and stares at , tears welling up slightly in her eyes.
“You- you’re sex friends with Yerin, right?”
“That is…”
“I let it slide when you had Yerin’s photo. But now it’s clear, isn’t it? Right?”
It definitely wasn’t the case then.
“If I get to make an excuse, it really wasn’t true when you asked that ti.”
“Let’s skip that. So, you’ve done it now, haven’t you?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
It feels like I’m turning into so kind of trash in her eyes. I’m pretty sure I went around firmly nailing down that I wouldn’t do CC.
“But why do you think I’m not saying anything to you?”
“…Be-because you’re not my girlfriend?”
I thought that was the reason.
In fact, Choi Yiseo has said this now.
“There’s that. But that’s not all.”
“Then?”
“Because you’re having a hard ti.”
At that mont,
I was at a loss for words.
Choi Yiseo, who was staring straight at , pressed her lips together as if pausing.
Despite my wish to not have her say any more, she seed to read my mind and imdiately declared,
“You’re struggling with relationships with won because of Yoon-ji. Even if it’s just physical relationships, you’re rejecting emotional connections with won around you.”
Cowardly.
I was a coward.
Understanding and being considerate of such cowardice…
It was the Choi Yiseo standing in front of .
“Sex? I could do it right now if I wanted to. We could book a hotel! Or go to your room! But I’m deliberately not doing it. Do you know why?”
“……”
“Because! Then it would an that I’ve won your heart with my body. It would an I’m forcing you, who is not yet ready, to date by using that!”
Thump!
Choi Yiseo hit my chest with her fist while tears ran down her cheeks. It was a feeble punch, but it hurt more than anything else I had encountered today.
“I don’t know what Yerin thinks. That girl might see a side of you I haven’t, and approach you differently from . It’s not a question of who’s right here.”
As Admin, Kim Woojin.
Seo Yerin saw that.
Choi Yiseo and Seo Yerin could be said to be on completely opposite ends of my nature.
If our relationship was arranged in the order of the alphabet.
Choi Yiseo started from A.
And Seo Yerin started from Z.
“Do you not have the right? You don’t have the right to hold on to soone drifting to another man? Who decided on that?”
“That is…”
“I’ll decide for you, hold on to .”
Clench.
Choi Yiseo was breathing roughly, holding my hand. She was trying hard to suppress the emotions welling up inside her.
“Tell to stay. And that you can’t go anywhere. In case I tilt towards another man, try to turn my eyes towards you.”
“……”
“Hold on to , you bastard!”
Choi Yiseo rushes into my arms.
She doesn’t let go, holding tightly, as if she didn’t want to show her crying face to .
Looking down at Choi Yiseo.
“I don’t want to love soone.”
A sincere feeling I had never expressed to anyone slipped out from my mouth.
“It hurts so much… Honestly, I still dream about Oh Yoon-ji at tis.”
That was the reason I can’t date anyone.
“After she left, I really couldn’t do anything for a while. It was a relief that it was the vacation period.”
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to attend lectures at all.
“Because it hurt so much then, I don’t want to date anyone.”
Choi Yiseo’s sobbing and my trembling voice overlapped.
“That’s my intention, my resolution.”
The woman who seed like she would be with forever.
The woman I seriously thought about marrying.
The woman who always smiled brightly and loved .
In the end, she left first.
That was the reality I faced.
The kind of unchanging love found in dramas or movies didn’t exist.
Oh Yoon-ji left .
So will Choi Yiseo.
Even though she says this to now.
There could co a mont when she would want to leave too.
If that happens.
It would probably be really tough then.
I am a coward, a weakling.
“Please, don’t move my heart anymore.”
My two hands, having nowhere to go, carefully embraced Choi Yiseo, who was trembling.
“Please.”
I hugged her gently.
“Don’t beco a precious existence to .”
Despite my plea for her not to enter my life any more deeply,
Choi Yiseo’s hands.
Still did not let go of .
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