Chapter 94 - Everything to
Mathew watched the scene in front of him and felt his heart shatter into pieces again.
It hurt, God! It hurt and was very unbearable to watch as he saw the radiant smile on Katherine’s face for the first ti in weeks after the scandal incident.
He felt a tear trail from his eyes and wiped it, but yet he was happy. It was her happiness that mattered to him. He couldn’t do anything to hurt Katherine.
Since day one when they t that night, he knew Katherine wasn’t for him but yet he couldn’t stop his heart from falling for her, falling and falling deeper.
He gave the kids a thumbs up of well done or job done. The kids called him days ago about their plan and him, without having the heart to refuse them, agreed.
He agreed to pay the amusent park staff to say what he said, he had stood at that lake and kept other couples away from claiming that place. And he was also the one who gave the kids ideas after them lanting and talking about the distance between their parents.
Mathew thought when the kids told him, he’d feel enraged or disapproving but looking at those eyes of theirs, he couldn’t do that. They were Katherine’s children—the woman he loved—and he would do anything, even if it ant sacrificing himself, being the stepping stone for her happiness.
He released a shuddered breath, his hands clenched on the table as he looked at both of them: Aaron and Katherine snuggled into each other and the twins in between them.
He couldn’t give her that happiness, he couldn’t fill that gap for years they had been together.
He stood up from the bench, he couldn’t watch the scene anymore, it hurt so much in his heart. It felt like there was a spear in his heart, piercing it with every step he took away from the scene.
Mathew didn’t think it would hurt like this, it would be painful like this, it would be hurtful like this, it would be agonizing and excruciating like this but it did.
He felt numb, his legs heavy yet with every step his chest constrained his twisting heart.
Mathew walked aimlessly away from the park, he couldn’t even think of anything, he just wanted to numb the pain he was feeling. He wanted to erase it. He wanted to pull his heart out, the pain there was painful.
After walking around maybe hours or minutes that he didn’t know, his feet took him and stopped at a neon glowing bar and he raised his head looking at the sign before walking in.
Maybe a drink can numb the pain for now.
He knew this would happen, he knew Aaron and Katherine would make up but he didn’t think it would be soon. He even prepared for it but his preparation didn’t set him for the emotional, physical, ntal pain.
Mathew entered the pub and was greeted with low music instrunts, and walked to the counter. The bartender who was wiping cups turned to him.
"Rough day?" the bartender asked and Mathew didn’t respond because he didn’t even know what to say.
"Oh not a talker," the bartender grinned a little then, "What do you want?"
"Anything."
"Oh he talks." the bartender joked, "Don’t say anything because anything can be dangerous sotis," the bartender winked, turning to the shelf and brought out a wine bottle.
Mathew grunted in response, he just wanted everything to end.
"Well, there’s jezebel, serpent and all devil apple," the bartender mumbled, shaking the wine. Then poured it in the empty glass. "This is limited edition and our pub signature - demon lair."
The bartender forwarded the wine to Mathew and Mathew nodded, taking the glass. Mathew downed it in a go before coughing out from the burn he felt in his throat and lungs.
"Oh woah, pretty boy." the bartender dropped the handkerchief and patted Mathew’s back. "Gently,"
"Give another cup," Mathew swatted the bartender away and asked for another one.
"Life must have really shown you itself." the bartender mumbled and poured another for Mathew.
Again, bracing himself this ti, Mathew gulped it down. He welcod the pain, he loved it at least it wasn’t his heart that was hurting now.
The bartender shook his head looking at Mathew and Mathew slamd the empty cup on the table again. The bartender didn’t say anything and poured again.
Glass after glass, burn after burn in his throat and lungs, sting after sting in his eyes yet that didn’t ease the heartbreak.
Mathew didn’t even know how many minutes had passed since he sat there so won and n had walked to him to strike a conversation but he didn’t give them face and they huffed before walking away.
Even the bartender ca to tell him to tone it down but Mathew wasn’t up for that. He just wanted to get lost, maybe getting lost will help.
And for a mont he felt his phone buzz in his front pocket, with shaking hands he picked it, swiping.
"Hello,"
Mathew blinked at the voice, trying to grasp where the voice was coming from. The voice sounded familiar yet couldn’t pinpoint it because it wasn’t Katherine’s own.
"Who’s this?" he slurred out.
"You sound off,"
"Oh," Mathew slamd his hands on the counter, "You are Ms. Og of Og." he grinned, feeling happy he rembered the new friend he just got.
"When will you stop with that nickna." her giggle ca from the other side and Mathew grinned.
"’Til the lord cos."
"Mathew, you sound... off,"
"Sound off? Is that not good." Mathew said, waving to the bartender.
"Where are you?" Alia’s worried voice wove in.
"I’m —" Mathew blinked, tilting his head then called, "Where’s this place?"
By the ti Alia ca to the pub she was directed to, she entered. Then looked around until she saw Mathew half body slumped on the counter.
"Mathew," she called in concern, walking towards him as she wanted to touch Mathew away, the bartender stopped her.
"Who are you?"
"I’m his friend." she replied, keeping the bartender’s gaze not missing how the person’s eyes road through her body and she wanted to disappear because her gaze fell on her outfit and her cheeks imdiately blazed in red.
As she hung up, she was still in her pink hello kitty pajamas that were childish like, her wool pink flip flop and a facial mask on her face. Her hair was in rough ssy bun with stick-like things peeking out of her hair and with a kitty ear also.
She looked awful, and closed her eyes in mortification, she didn’t believe she ran out of her apartnt looking like this maybe that was why people on street were looking at her like a lady that ran away from asylum.
"I’m sorry I’m not presented well, but I ca as soon as I saw his call." she muttered, removing the mask on her face. Dropping, squeezing the flimsy in her hand.
"Okay," the bartender smiled softly at her, "He is dead beat, make sure to give him warm dicine tomorrow morning or else he won’t even feel his head."
"Thank you," Alia mumbled, then gently pushed Mathew.
Mathew blinked at her, waving at Alia’s face, "Why are you double," he raised his hands, counting, "No three. No there are four Ms. Og of Og." he laughed then pulled Alia beside him.
Mathew turned away, blinking away, his shoulder slouched as if he wanted to hide, then in a small voice, "Have you ever loved soone so much that you let go for their happiness yet their happiness breaks you so much" he whispered, his voice was barely audible. Yet shaking which contrasted the gentle manly voice of his that Alia was familiar with.
Alia wetted her lips, she didn’t know how to respond. "What happened?" rather she asked.
"Do you want to listen?"
"If it’s you, yes. I’ll listen." Alia said softly, her gaze softened also with emotion.
Mathew blinked away the tears that wanted to spill from his eyes. In the darkest ti of his life, it was Katherine who was there. It was Katherine who believed in him even when he didn’t. She was the only one who stayed, who encouraged him, who cheered him and who listened to him.
"She was the light in my dark. The light after walking walking hopelessly, aimlessly, helplessly in a dark tunnel. And now—" he gulped.
Alia had that smile and didn’t say anything, just listening to him ramble.
"She was not mine before and I thought at least if I stay at her side, if I make myself available for her, she would look at but now, she isn’t mine."
Alia wetted her lower lips, "Have you told her what you feel?" she asked but her voice was rough.
"Yes and she rejected ." he laughed dryly, "Maybe because of my persistence." he said, "Maybe because I’m incompetent and not enough. Maybe my father was right, maybe I’m actually nothing, maybe I’m —" he didn’t finish his words before Alia pulled him to a hug.
Her chest thumping loudly, wildly against Mathew’s own, her voice trembling and low, "If you are nothing to them, you are sothing to ." She mumbled, "No, you are everything to ."
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