Chapter 420: A Fucking Broken Girl
PRESENT
AN: Song For The Background ~ Not About Angels By Birdy
I took the last of my drink and went for another one but the decanter was empty. Mumbling a horde of curses I got off my seat sluggishly and rounded the island.
"Now which of you will follow
on an adventure?" I said hiccuping as my finger lined the drinks. "Oh you will do just alright" I grabbed one bottle, I couldn’t even tell what the label says... but with the stylish bottle, it will hands down be the best alcohol I have ever tasted. In victory I walked out of the bar eyeing the glass but chose not to take one, it will definitely taste better directly from the bottle.
Popping the lid open I threw my head back and took a drink and damn does it taste good, but the intense burning sensation heated my throat and I winced and groaned. To be honest it was the best feeling ever and currently feeling like hell it matches the vibe quite well.
Strolling with my drink in hand and a perfect feeling that felt like I should be 7 feet in the ground I made my way out of the mansion just at the porch as I scanned the area, it was a wonderful sight but the slight burn on my skin made
even feel worse, if that’s the case it was better than feeling my burning heart right now.
I took a deep whiff of the air and closed my eyes, allowing the fresh breath of nature to consu , it’s the closest thing I have had to freedom ever since I have been here.
"I wonder if that stream is still around here" I mumbled. Pointing in different directions to see if I rember it correctly, spinning I giggled to myself and threw my head back for another drink. My eyes caught the top of the veranda, and a familiar brooding man caught my attention, my vision of haze and I knew no doubt it was my drunkard state playing with my head. It still brought a frown to my face, watching him leaning against the railing watching
My ex.
Smirking, I raised my hand giving a middle finger, and stumbling in my steps, I cursed at my sluggish state before looking back. He’s gone. See? My fucking imagination. Taking my drink I began my walk in search of that stream. My sandals were getting itchy on my feet and I took them off one by one, it was a hard attempt and it caused
to lean against a tree to take the frustrating sandals off. I took a breath of relief after they ca off and happily walked barefoot on the grass while drowning myself in my drink.
I spun multiple tis giggling to myself to sothing nonexistent, I don’t know what I found funny, maybe my life? Yes, definitely my life.
"You should stop drinking"
"Hey Grayson," I said to the imaginary form of my brother appearing in a blur.
"You know you can;t handle alcohol" it’s always his lecture.
"I know, but it helps" I spluttered, raising my bottle like a cheer.
"Help with what?"
"My bleeding heart" I giggled. "Wait... How did you-". He’s gone. Of course, I’m seeing things now, and that’s enough sign to tell
to stop, but I don’t.
A chill flooded through
and withering I looked around the lonely woods. It feels like eyes are on
but it’s probably my hazy brain right now so I shrugged it off, taking another drink.
"Fuck!" I cursed when nothing ca off it. I flung the bottle sowhere and continued my walk alone. I could already hear the familiar flowing water causing a smile to find my lips.
"There you are!" I jumped giggly and rushed towards it. "Woah!" I fell flat on my face and laughed to myself, dusting the dirt off my dress, and took a seat.
"Much better," I said, looking up at the skies and closing my eyes, replenishing the little freedom I had. But no... I thought coming back to this stream I loved so much would give
that but instead, I was once again plagued with mories.
I sniffled, and then the tears fell like the running stream itself. I cried so loud and I didn’t care who heard, I just wanted to... release all the pent-up emotions. I constantly told myself I had moved on and I was strong, but I was wrong, I never moved on, I never made peace with myself, I never... I never stopped loving Dace.
It was impossible.
No matter how I told myself that I did and it was best for my peace of mind it wasn’t, I was always holding on to a thin thread of my sanity, making up a mask all these years and playing my role as a Countess to cover this emptiness in my heart but I was always a broken girl.
A fucking broken girl.
"Why are you crying?"
"W-W-Why am I crying?" I sniffled, and a ss of tears and snot followed. "B-Because it’s too much, I-I-I-I can’t" My lips quivered and I broke once again. "N-No matter how I try, I-I-I can’t bear it"
"Bear what?"
"This..." I circled my hand around. "A-All this, coming back to this place, it’s too much, it feels like my heart is breaking into a million pieces, I thought I could handle it but I can’t. Luther said I’m strong, but I’m not..." I looked to my side, the imaginary form of Dace is here again.
"Seeing you right here... so close but yet so far away. The very monster I created" I sniffed. "It was all my fault if only I didn’t do it"
His eyes narrowed. "Do what?"
I buried my face in my hands. "I made you like this... I destroyed everything a-a-and I... I..." I couldn’t even finish because my own cries followed, I swallowed hard, freed myself from my hand, and looked towards my reverie.
I smiled and it was one of my most genuine ones because my eyes lit up. My imaginary Dace feature morphed into confusion and then sothing else I couldn’t explain.
"If only... I didn’t use that spell"
Reviews
All reviews (0)