Chapter 367: mories
EMMA
~
mories ca to
and it was peaceful... It is said that in the last monts of life your mind replays everything you have lived through.
I grew up an only child, little and feeble. I stamred so badly that I could barely get my words right, I couldn’t even associate with people properly, I was like an imperceptible ghost my entire life and the only person who saw
was my mom.
It was
and her against the world, she was everything to
and she always told
that one day I will grow out of my shell but I never believed because I wanted to be in that shell forever, there was no point in waking up from a dream. I had her so I had everything...
Not until I had to leave, her job beca very demanding and she moved around a lot and never settled in one place. She wanted to provide better for both of us and it was also her dream job, to work with soone famous and explore the world and make contracts like the businesswoman she is.
I knew no doubt she would break that dream because of . I felt like a burden which is why when it was decided I had to move in with my aunt I didn’t complain, I couldn’t bring myself to and I hid my tears as best I could.
It was only when I pulled away from her arms and walked into the airport I let my tears fall, it felt like I was leaving a part of
behind. Even when I paused to look at her amidst the crowd I saw her in tears too, she didn’t see
but I saw her, I saw how much she cried watching
leave.
I understand one thing then... no matter how much you want to hold onto sothing you eventually let go because there cos a ti when mories are the only thing keeping us going. My mories were always with my mom, to the earliest, when she held
in her arms for the first ti and cried.
My first steps as she cheered
on, taking
to work with her every ti as I grew up, she was my closest companion and everything about her was
and vice versa.
Juneau changed that notion for , I guess I finally did step out of my shell the mont I set foot on Juneau soil. I tried my best to live the right way, and although I had many challenges, I just wanted to be a normal teenager. But instead, the opposite of my life happened... I made friends. I had an aunt who loves
just as my mom does.
And then I t him... our eyes colliding in that pouring rain felt like fate, those eyes I thought I would only see once found
back again, my dream-filled life changed instantly to a living one and I never felt more alive.
The danger signs were clearly there yet I ignored them just to breathe in his space, be in his arm, let him hold
tightly, and never let go, giving your entire soul to soone is like giving your identity and he gave
him too, without a doubt ready to give
more than he could offer, we beca each other anchor. It was hard but each mont with him I prayed for ti to stop for us because that certain mont felt everlasting, like you’re strapped in a charm you can’t resist.
I never understood love perfectly but after I t him I finally understood the aning, what it ans to protect it, cherish a bond like no other, and hold onto it no matter what, I understood the true aning of devotion, care, and love. We both fought for what we wanted even though we couldn’t be together, even though fate brought us together it still wanted to set us apart.
It was a lost cause... and my most painful mory was watching the very beast I desired rip
apart all because of the mistake I made. I ruined what we made... I destroyed the last fragnt of what we shared, all for it to crumble into pieces, and I watched as the very faint of humanity washed away from his eyes that only gave
warmth beca my very nightmare.
I once gained the world, I believed I gained the world, I fell in love, I made friends and I got to know what it ans to have a brother. I ford a special connection with Grayson and I understood a sibling bond. I guess one would say I have lived my life to the fullest, but it was never enough.
I don’t think anything will ever be enough because when you gain the entire world, you eventually lose it. Either you break it with your own two hands... or you die and leave it behind.
In my case it’s both, right now it was like an endless tornt, I didn’t find peace... I was instead tornted by the last scene of my life as Dace killed
over and over again until I lost my very sanity.
There is nothing left of .
And yet feeling a cold liquid within
I was plagued by mories... but those mories weren’t mine. The mories of a ginger-haired boy with black obsidian eyes and countless mories flashed before my senses like this particular person had lived more than a lifeti.
It went on like an old record, a record of soone else’s life, and I felt like I had lived through all of it too. It was almost as if soone invaded , and that very person was pulling
back to life.
I don’t think I’m dead because I can hear my heartbeat, I can feel the cool air against my skin, I can feel my fingers flinching and threatening to move, and my toes too, the pain is gone, I feel light even though I felt numb from the pit darkness that held all my nightmares.
There was a pleasing taste to my lips too but I don’t know what it was... it tasted sweet and cold, just the flavor in my tongue got
awakening, that very taste was making my body move again.
And so I opened my eyes into the new world.
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