Chapter 34: I’m not like you
Cass barely knocked on the door as he pushed open the door to her office. He’d swept in, surprising everyone after ignoring them for a full week, but he was finally done.
He had to put a stop to this lunacy or he was going to have another ’magical ltdown’.
Lady Fiona, who had been diligently working away at her desk, blinked, taking her glasses off as Cass stord in with a sour look on his face. His back was straight, his clothing in perfect condition, and not a silver hair was out of place. Lady Fiona looked much the sa.
Ever the appearance of a capable, powerful heroine, she sat at a wooden desk not so unfamiliar to his own. Only her stacks were quite a bit smaller than the ones on his, and her room had a more muted floral tone to it.
"Lord Cassian. I didn’t expect to see you today." Lady Fiona said. She didn’t sound hopeful, or even upset. She sounded neutral. Cass knew why.
They hadn’t seen each other in a week, and she had been pestering him with gifts and requests to see him all that ti. He had ignored every last one, but now he was here, in her office, much in the sa way that she had stord into his office last.
Cass sighed, hating how it imitated her behaviour, but he couldn’t take it anymore. It was getting too much, and he needed it to stop.
"Lady Fiona, I am sorry for the sudden arrival, but I urgently needed to speak with you." He told her and she straightened her back. She put down her pen, about to get up.
"Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What was so urgent that you needed to speak to
right away?" She asked, genuinely concerned. "Has sothing happened? Do you need assistance?" It was clear that she was desperate to help in any way, so Cass hoped that this would make it easier.
"I need you to stop sending
gifts, particularly food." He told her, and she froze. Her slightly opening face froze over, and Cass felt his own jaw tighten as she sat back down. She folded her hands on the table, leveling him with a hard look.
"Why? Is there sothing wrong with them? If you don’t like them, you can just throw them away." Her voice was cold, harsh, and Cass wanted to groan.
"I am not such a wasteful person." Cass protested and her left eye twitched.
"So? Why does that matter to ? If I’m sending you sothing, you don’t have to accept it. You can find so other use for it." Cass didn’t understand why she was being like this. Didn’t it make more sense for her to stop the action if it wasn’t benefitting anyone? Why was she being stubborn?
"Does it not make more sense for you to discontinue the action you are taking instead of having
change my ways? I can’t feed my people any more food. They might throw a riot in protest." Her left eye twitched again.
"What is so wrong with the food I send you? Does it not follow along that silly, ridiculous list that your aide gave ?" Her tone was harsh, her expression twisting and Cass felt his own blood boil. It wasn’t silly. Sam was doing his best for Cass, even if he was only hired to work for him.
Cass didn’t know why his food was so restricted, but it was. There was nothing he could do about it. Even Sir Forsythe told him that he should listen to Sam’s words, and Sir Forsythe may be loyal to Lord Blackburn’s father, but that didn’t an he didn’t care about his son.
"It is not a silly or a ridiculous list, Lady Fiona. I have strict restrictions on what I can consu. While on the outside it appears as if the food fits the description, there is sothing wrong with the food you are sending. I am politely asking that you stop doing so." Cass said through gritted teeth. Lady Fiona grit her teeth in return.
"If you are having such a hard ti with the food, why don’t you just send it into town and sell it? I will not stop trying to assist my husband, Lord Cassian. That would make
a horrible wife." Asking for a divorce was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t do it. He knew that she’d say no in the situation, even if every bone in his body demanded that he do so.
"Fine." He said through gritted teeth. "I didn’t realise we had to go this far for you to believe , but I guess we will. I’ll ask Sam to arrange a al with your prepared ingredients. If you are concerned that he might have them prepare sothing outside of what you provided, you can have soone watch him and the chef. Once that is done, you can observe just what exactly happens to
when I eat the food that is provided. Would that appease your curiosity about why I am so insistent?" Her eyes went wide and she went to stand again.
"I am not asking for you to show , Lord Cassian. I just want you to be honest with . What is so terribly wrong with you that I can’t even provide sothing as easy as food for you?" Cass snorted.
"If it was easy, Sam wouldn’t be having such a hard ti getting
food that is nutritious." He retorted, and Lady Fiona seed genuinely hurt. Cass ignored the way that his chest ached.
"I don’t know what that ans. I just, I followed what he said, down to a T. Why is what I do for you bad? What am I doing wrong?" She asked and Cass crossed his arms, staring at her.
He didn’t know what to tell her. Where could he even start? She probably wasn’t even aware of what she’d done that was so bad, so cruel. She probably had never had to face the fact that she could do bad things, and had done bad things. Especially to Lord Blackburn, and to Cass.
"Lady Fiona," Cass began and she swallowed. "Do you ever think that sotis you should stop?" He asked her and she froze.
"W-What do you an?" She asked and Cass stared at her silently.
"Exactly what I said." He replied and she stood there, stunned.
"I-I don’t know. I’ve never...do you an stop being the hero or...?" Cass shrugged.
"I an whatever you think I an. Have you ever considered it?" When she didn’t respond, Cass glanced around the room before he continued. "Have you ever had a deep thought about what your purpose is, beyond what others have told you it is? Why do you attempt to be good? What has it ever earned you? Why are you so obsessed with everyone liking you, when it’s clear you don’t like them?" Her whole face drained of colour the more that Cass spoke. Her hands curled into fists against the desk, and Cass heard the horrifying crunch of wood as her fingers punctured it like butter.
Maybe he shouldn’t be provoking soone who could do that. That was terrifying.
Lady Fiona was trembling, and from her reaction, Cass was sure that she knew she had these feelings, but had clearly been avoiding them. Locking them away. Cass never understood that. If you don’t like sothing, don’t do it. If you don’t like soone, don’t hang out around them. Heroes put in so much work and got so little in return.
What did Lady Fiona get at the end of the book?
A marriage to three n she didn’t even like, a villain husband, and the fact that she had to hide her relationship for the rest of her life while faking happiness. These ’gods’ were cruel, and Cass had plans to ruin everyone’s plans. Lady Fiona wasn’t going to get the ’happy’ ending that she wanted, and neither was Cass. Or the ’gods’.
Everyone was going to get exactly what they deserved.
"I-I-" She sounded like a broken record. She swallowed thickly. "Do you...not like , Lord Cassian?" She asked quietly and Cass stared at her for a long, quiet mont. It was awkward, it was awful, and Lady Fiona grew even more pale as it dragged on.
"There was a ti when I considered I could like you." He replied.
But then you had Draken bite Cass without explaining what was going on, and assud that Cass would be okay with it. Because he revealed sothing that you would consider a secret, but you used it to your advantage instead of keeping it quiet.
"You...considered it?" She whispered and Cass nodded. "So you aren’t considering it anymore?" She asked and Cass nodded.
"Why should I get along with soone who uses my secrets against ?" Lady Fiona’s whole face fell, and Cass spun on his heel. "I’ll have Sir Forsythe send word when Sam is ready. You are free to send over a maid or what have you to witness if you don’t trust ." He said over his shoulder before leaving the room.
Lady Fiona didn’t say a word as she hung her head, her office door closing with a silent ’click’.
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