Chapter 168: The carrot after the stick
Kellen watched as Casper did his best to consu the cookie without eagerness. Like the food that he had made wasn’t sweet and delicious and exactly what he needed to fuel his soul. He kept taking small bites, like he wasn’t a Guide and instead a respectable mber of society.
Kellen did his best not to laugh at him, as did his Dad. Both Guides watched him, while Kellen also checked his watch. It was well past 7 pm, closer to 8 pm actually, so Rhys had had the conversation with Gunther at this point. Kellen did wonder how it went, but given the fact that no one had bothered them or at least tried to, Kellen kind of knew the answer.
Kellen didn’t think he would take it well if he found out Rhys had been harming himself. Even if they weren’t that to each other, they still cared greatly for each other. Casper had pretty much spiraled because Gunther had gone on a secret mission, with so help from previous events, and Gunther had drunk himself silly the other night because of how Casper was doing.
The two were just...dancing around the main issue because neither of them were in the right place to acknowledge it.
"Casper, I know this is a bit out of left field, but I wanted to ask this." Kellen said, leaning forward a bit as he stared at Casper. Casper had the last of his cookie raised to his lips, crumbs all over him because he had tried to eat slowly and delicately, forgetting that cookies crumble.
Casper stared at him, and Kellen could feel his Dad boring a hole into the side of his head. He was clearly warning Kellen to be careful with his questions. While Kellen appreciated it, he still had to ask them.
"O-Okay." Casper mumbled around the few pieces of cookie in his mouth, surprised but ready.
"Are you coming to the funeral? I told Rhys you have every right to go, but I wanted to confirm with you that you wanted to go." Kellen asked and Casper paused. He continued chewing, but it seed like he was rather confused.
"I, uh, I’m allowed to go?" Kellen felt himself frown. Of course. If Rhys was asking if Casper could go, of course the man of the hour would ask the sa thing.
"Of course you can go." Kellen told him. "They’re your people as much as they are mine, even more. You have every right to be there. Rhys did make a valid point that it’s going to be dangerous. We don’t know if our actions actually dealt a blow to the people who want to hurt us, but at the sa ti, I do think us rooting out at least one of their major bases is a good thing and probably changed that future." Kellen said, speaking a little quickly. He glanced at Casper, trying to read his expression, but he was getting nowhere.
Casper wasn’t offering him anything.
Kellen waited for a few beats of silence before he said anything else, letting the words he’d spoken float in the air for a bit. Kellen could feel his father’s fingers digging into his side, so it was clear that his Dad thought he’d been an idiot for speaking up the way that he did. Kellen was Kellen though. He couldn’t change that.
"I...had every intention to attend before. I just didn’t think I could." Casper finally spoke up, his words slow, asured. He swallowed thickly after he had spoken, looking close to tears and Kellen repeated what he’d told Rhys earlier.
"Casper, being benched doesn’t an you can’t go to funerals. What kind of monster would I be if that was the case? What kind of monster would Rhys be? None of us would ever deny you that. You’re the Guide in charge of the others, we’re just...giving you the rest, break and care that you need. Granted, I could have gone about it better..." Kellen trailed off, not wanting to apologise for sothing he wasn’t actually apologetic for. He had a feeling if he continued down this path, he would try to.
Casper frowned, his head dropping so that he could stare at the ss on his pants. His fingers began cleaning it up, pinching the small crumbs in between his fingers, cleaning up slowly. Kellen’s Dad’s fingers in his side were painful, but there wasn’t anything else that Kellen could do.
He wasn’t about to take back his words in either context. He ant them, Casper just needed ti to process them.
"I...what ti is it?" Casper asked. "What day? I don’t even know the finer details." He said, his lips curling up into a bitter smile. Kellen let out a soft breath.
"I don’t really know the details either. I’m just waiting for Rhys and Pala to tell
when it’s happening so that I can be prepared." Kellen told him, not lying. Casper seed a little surprised.
"You didn’t...you didn’t take over my role?" Casper asked and Kellen shook his head, giving him a strange look.
"Casper, do I look like soone that could?" Kellen asked and watched as the other man nodded imdiately. He was almost disappointed. Kellen sighed, shaking his head. "No, I can’t. I don’t know how to be gentle. I only know how to be . Yeah, I can put on a good mask. I did get hired at Guiding Center B, but that doesn’t an I can do it to the level that you were doing because for you, it wasn’t a mask." Kellen said, before tilting his head to the side. "It wasn’t, right?" Kellen asked and watched as Casper shook his head slightly.
"No. It wasn’t a mask." He agreed quietly and Kellen nodded, relieved.
"Good. Glad I wasn’t wrong. Anyways, I’m a Field Guide. If I was to take over any aspect, that would be the side I would take over. The rougher side of things. I can sit down and do all of the boring things that you were doing, the back end stuff, but I also know that I’d scare away the gentler types. That’s why my Dad and I have only been looking for temporary help while you are taking this ti for yourself, and the temporary help is coming from the longer standing Guides in the Guild." Kellen told him. He didn’t think it was right to lie to him, and it was a good thing that he was telling him.
Casper seed rather surprised, and Kellen thought it was because they were finding soone to replace him and that it was Kellen and his Dad doing it. Kellen felt his anger fill him when he heard the words slip from Casper’s lips.
"Temporary?" Casper repeated and Kellen had to take a deep breath to calm himself.
"Of course temporary. Are you an idiot?" Kellen winced as soon as the words left his lips.
"Kellen." His Dad admonished. "Don’t say such an things to Casper." He scolded and Kellen flinched. He glanced at Casper, feeling apologetic. He shouldn’t have called him an idiot, even if the words left his mouth.
"Sorry Casper. It’s an excuse, but I am still adjusting to the emotions that co with being an S Class." Kellen muttered and Casper stared at Kellen, and then his Father. For once, Casper’s lips curled up into a smile.
"It’s a sha that more S Classes don’t have their parents around. I think it would be delightful if their parents could scold them the sa way as they scold you." Casper said, chuckling. Kellen felt his face warm. Yeah, that was a fair dig.
"Either way, we’re going to need two people to replace the work you were doing by yourself, Casper." Kellen watched as Casper’s cheeks turned pink. "You are slightly at fault in this, as you should have told soone that you were doing so much work, but I’m not going to fully bla you. Rhys should have noticed, especially since it’s in your nature to keep things to yourself." Kellen told him and watched as Casper’s face turned a darker shade of pink.
"He was doing what he could. I don’t bla Rhys for this." Casper said softly.
"I do." Kellen’s Dad spoke up, and the two younger Guides turned to face him. Kellen’s Dad’s face wasn’t twisted with anger or anything ugly like that. He was calm, as if he was speaking the truth. "I do bla him, but I also understand what not having your pair by your side can do to an S Class. I don’t excuse his neglect, but I am sympathetic. Whether you decide to stay with the Guild or not, I do think things will be moving in a better direction. I can already feel it in the Guild. The people aren’t as afraid of Rhys as they used to be and feel like they can approach him as a person. Apparently, that wasn’t the case 6 months ago." Kellen had no idea that his Dad had been doing his own research.
Casper did not look surprised to hear those words. Like he anticipated that Kellen’s Dad would be doing his own research.
"I’m glad to hear that. I...wasn’t aware that others were having a hard ti speaking to the Captain, but that doesn’t surprise
either. He can be quite intimidating, and I think...I’d just been adjusting to what he was becoming." Casper said quietly. "Plus, apparently I was falling apart at the seams anyways, so..." Casper trailed off, shrugging his shoulders dismissively. Kellen sighed heavily.
"Casper, we just talked about how we need to find two people to do the work you were doing. You were doing the work of two people. Honestly, you should have had a Field Guide correspondence or sothing similar a while ago. Hell, there should be way more Guides in positions of power as well, probably one for each Class to lift the burden off of your shoulders. If you decide you want to continue working at the Guild after you’ve taken your ti off, we should consider that moving forward." Kellen said. Casper glanced at Kellen, glanced at his Dad, and then dropped his gaze to his lap again.
"You keep saying if or when. I kind of thought that you were kicking
out." Casper admitted. "I an, it would make sense. I made a right ss of everything." Casper’s voice was full of humour, even if it looked like he was ready to cry. Kellen put down whatever was in his hand, a cupcake or sothing, and reached for Casper, placing his hand on his knee. He gave it a squeeze.
"I won’t deny that I was mad at what you’d done." Kellen started lowly. "I still am, but that doesn’t an I’m the kind of person who would look at everything you’d been through and ignore the whole picture. I would never kick you out of the place you consider ho. Never, Casper. If you wanted to never be involved with the higher up working of the Guild but you didn’t want to leave? Rhys and I would figure sothing out. If you wanted to leave? We would fight it, especially right now, but you’re still a fucking person. We’re doing this because we care about you, we want you to get better. We just...this is just the only way we know how to make sure you get the care and help that you need." Kellen told him honestly. Kellen felt Casper’s body tremble under his hand, Casper dropping further, curling into himself further.
Kellen’s Dad got up, coming around the other side of Casper, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and giving him a squeeze.
"Casper sweetie, do you have family left?" His Dad asked quietly and Casper shook his head.
"No. They moved on after they found out I was going to be okay. It was just
and my grandma." He whispered and Kellen’s Dad squeezed his shoulder tightly.
"That’s okay. I just wanted to say that the Guild are your family. Your chosen family. Rhys chose you as one of his family mbers, so just know that he would never abandon you. Even if this feels wrong and uncomfortable, they would not abandon you. Not truly." His Dad’s words were soft, caring. "We wouldn’t either." He said softly and Kellen wanted to scoff. He wanted to tell his Dad to stop adopting Espers and Guides, but he also knew that was an impossible task to ask of him.
His Dad’s heart was just too big for people who needed help.
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