Haruki drove to the hotel he planned to take Hiroshi to. He chose a different room on that floor. A room different from the room they had decorated for Hiroshi’s birthday.
Hiroshi turned to Haruki when they walked in, and the door was closed behind them. He had so much he wanted to say, he wanted so badly than ever to confess his feelings.
He wanted to show Haruki a picture of what he felt and the string holding him back all along snapped and he reached for Haruki’s hand determined to simply announce that he was in love with him and he would never be with anyone else in the life ti, no, he could not be with anyone else.
Haruki saw the move the man made. He saw and recognised the emotions in the man’s eyes, but he warned himself that it was all an illusion he should not believe, because if it was true, that would mark the end of whatever was going on between him and Hiroshi.
He moved away from the man as he looked into Hiroshi’s brown eyes with the right amount of disgust to cause the man’s hands to stop.
"You disgust . Clean up first," Haruki’s cold voice resonated in the room.
Hiroshi felt chills as he t Haruki’s gaze calmly, a facade to hide the palpitations of his heart and the pain he felt in his chest. He looked down at the hand he had reached to touch Haruki, and he felt so bad to scoff at his dumb self.
"Okay," he agreed before walking to the door of the bedroom.
Haruki looked down at the hand Hiroshi wanted to touch. He felt he was being paranoid, but the look he got from the man made him certain of what the man wanted to say, and those words would have made him completely cut the doctor off his life, regardless of the truth behind the man’s words.
He would not care about the reason why the man bothered to confess, he wouldn’t even give him the chance to explain whether he ant the words before he completely separated himself from the man.
Another thing he was certain of, or more like believed he was certain of, was the fact that Hiroshi would lie to him simply because he did not want to lose the man he desired. And it was all physical.
Haruki tried to keep his thoughts under control until Hiroshi walked out of the room dressed in a white wool dressing coat.
He sat down on the three-seater sofa in the living room before scanning the doctor from head to toe.
"Get back in there and clean up again," Haruki, who would have let the man co to him if he had not rembered vividly the image of the doctor being hugged by Miyoko.
It was the woman he wanted to get engaged to, but at this mont, the thought of touching the man whom she had hugged made him feel germophobic.
Hiroshi, without hesitation, turned and returned into the bedroom, locking up every thought as he focused on cleaning his already clean body once again.
Haruki did the sa as though they were connected by a desire to control their thoughts and keep their minds completely blank.
Haruki went into the other room in the suite and took his bath. He ca out of the room just in ti for the doctor to walk out of the room.
Their gaze t. The beautiful set of obsidian eyes t the calm brown eyes with so much iciness that it could freeze the air between them.
Haruki wondered if the man was scared of what he would do or simply believed Haruki could do nothing as they both froze on the door of the room.
He wondered what he could do to the man; nothing ca to his mind as he t the man’s calm gaze. The dark thoughts were all gone, although his rage hadn’t completely disappeared.
Haruki moved first as he walked to the sofa to get his phone. He called Kiyoshi.
Hiroshi began to approach him one steady, calm step after another, taken cautiously, until Haruki got into the details of what he wanted Kiyoshi to do.
Hiroshi felt his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach, and his limbs suddenly felt heavy, along with his shoulders feeling as though he was lifting a mountain on his shoulders.
He tried to remain calm to mask his emotions, but this was the only thing that made him special. The fact that he had not signed a contract was the only thing that made him different from all the other lovers Haruki has had.
Self-pity felt like claws gripping his abdon so tightly he felt everything under his skin would get blended into a paste, slowly, each pain greater than the next.
The pain only intensified, and he fought back the urge to grip his chest. For the first ti in a long ti, he found himself fighting back tears.
He wanted to beg Haruki to try to appease him to get him to understand that what he wanted was an upgrade of his position, not a degradation.
When Haruki was done giving the specifications for the docunts to be prepared and brought over, he turned to look at the doctor, who seed very calm as though he had not heard all the specifications Haruki had given Kiyoshi.
Haruki felt the joke was on him after all, he was the one who thought the contract signing was more than enough to punish the man, but he concluded that he had made a mistake in believing that the man would get punished by sothing physical.
All the doctor desired of him was physical, and the thoughts he had of causing the doctor physical pain made him also hesitate. After all, the man loved the pain he got from him.
He had no idea how to punish him as much as he wanted, aside from the others that would certainly end the man’s life.
Having no present desire to end the doctor’s life over hugging Miyoko, Haruki decided to take a step back and simply get the man to enjoy his birthday.
So many things happened in a short ti, so he chose to simply have dinner and relax in the hotel. He felt trying to threaten or punish the man any further over it might force the doctor to say words he doesn’t an that would ruin what they had going on.
"This wasn’t the suite I prepared in advance," Haruki decided to tell the doctor. "You have claid you have nothing to do with Miyoko. I will choose to believe your words, but I bet you know that you can’t lie to . I will find out anything I wish to know."
"I know. I have nothing to do with her. We were friends, but I won’t et with her anymore," Hiroshi told Haruki truthfully.
"I don’t care who you keep as friends, after all, you both t at my birthday party. But what I won’t condone is the possibility that you are intimate with soone else as long as I consider you worthy to be played with," Haruki said coldly.
"I would never do that," Hiroshi promised, his voice carrying the weight of his sincerity.
Haruki ignored the sincerity in his tone as he said, "I don’t care what you say. I care about you, sign."
Hiroshi looked down at his hands. He was a toy to be played with now. He was no longer a sex partner who at least gave him the role of a partner in Haruki’s life.
His heart raced painfully as he t Haruki’s gaze, hiding it all in the calmness of his eyes. "As long as that makes you happy," Hiroshi’s voice cracked a bit as he responded.
Haruki reminded himself that it was by luck he was still with Haruki and did not get excommunicated over what Haruki witnessed, which made him unhappy. He did not dwell much on being unable to confess his feelings.
He was grateful that he did not confess, or he would have lost every opportunity. It was a bad ti to confess, and doing it in such a tense mont would have made Haruki angrier, and there wouldn’t be any amount of luck that would keep him in Haruki’s life.
Haruki sat down and turned on the TV. Hiroshi sat beside him in silence as they waited for Kiyoshi while watching the news.
When Kiyoshi finally knocked, Haruki stood up and moved his gaze from the TV for the first ti since it got his attention. He asked Hiroshi to open the door for Kiyoshi before moving his gaze back to the screen before him.
Hiroshi rose, hesitant, but he had no choice but to let the man holding the contract he dreaded signing to co in.
Kiyoshi gave him a nod of acknowledgent before walking into the room. He bowed deeply to Haruki when he got into the living room.
Haruki’s gaze finally moved once again from the TV as he gestured to his assistant to bring the file he was holding.
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