(BL) Hunting The Field Guide Chapter 126: You are not a monster

Kellen couldn’t exactly deny that the Captain’s concerns weren’t valid. But he’d never thought of Captain Sergei that way, and if he was being honest with himself, he had been intentionally avoiding the Captain on the front lines. His good looks threw him for a loop. He’d always made him uncomfortable and Kellen had always wanted to avoid him because he was worried he wasn’t going to be able to be professional around him. He’d had a way of looking at him on the front lines before that made Kellen feel bare. Now that he knew him better, Kellen had a feeling that he had been imagining Kellen without clothes.

He sighed.

"You don’t have to worry about them." Kellen told him, and the Captain stared at him.

"Why don’t I have to worry about them?" He asked, and Kellen could tell that he was only partially teasing him. He needed an actual answer.

"Well, Sakura’s a girl, and Sergei isn’t my type. Deathly pale isn’t exactly sothing I find attractive." He snorted, before he threw his head back and laughed.

"Well, I’m glad I don’t fall into either of those categories. Out of curiousity, what do you find attractive?" He asked, and Kellen narrowed his eyes at him.

"I feel like you already know that. I think I told you." His eyes widened at his words, and his face flushed. He cleared his throat.

"Why don’t you humour by telling again? You already know so of mine, so I think it’s only fair that I know so of yours. And I don’t rember, if I’m honest with you." Kellen didn’t trust him, but he did also make a good point. Kellen rembered the Captain admitting what his type was. And it wasn’t like anyone hid that the Captain liked muscles. Or him.

He sighed. Kellen wanted to cover his face, but instead he turned his head and stared at the almost bare shelves covered in his sister’s and father’s knick knacks.

"I like n, which I believe we already know. I like people who take on positions of authority, who are attractive, broad shouldered, and you teased about how I like dark hair." He cleared his throat as the Captain watched him. "I’d like it if they looked good in uniform. Preferably an Esper, since I can’t imagine myself in a long term relationship with a Guide or a civilian, and likes to take care of themselves. I feel like that’s enough." Kellen finished quietly, knowing damn well that what he said revealed a lot, but he didn’t think it was that obvious. He didn’t have a crush on anyone. And they were not dating. They were a pair.

"Oh Kellen, that’s very specific." Kellen glanced at the Captain, and had to do a double take. The man was practically glowing.

"A-Are you alright, Captain?" He asked, concerned and he gave Kellen’s thigh a squeeze. His grin was wide and infectious. He seed so happy.

"I’m perfect, Kellen. I don’t think I’ve been this happy in a long ti. He cleared his throat, still smiling. It looked like he couldn’t help it. "We should get back to sothing serious, shouldn’t we?" Kellen nodded, and reached for his tea, taking a sip. The Captain’s gaze followed his every mont, and Kellen glanced at him. His eyes narrowed, but it was clear it was in happiness. Kellen had...no idea why, and the Captain seed happy to not tell him.

"Right, now that you have your tea, I’ll begin. So, I’ve been in a lot of etings lately, and they’ve been very taxing. With that being said, you should have told what was going on. Now that you are aware you have my number, you should let know when things are difficult, or sothing bad is happening.

Hell, ssage anything, really. If so Esper of Guide pisses you off, or sothing funny happens. Maybe Brent said sothing rude or hilarious. Just ssage . I want to know how your day goes, especially since I’m going to get even busier from this point on. I won’t be able to stop in and check on you for a while." He gave Kellen’s thigh another squeeze, and Kellen raised his tea cup up to his lips so he had sothing to do.

"I will...do my best." Kellen muttered, lowering the cup and his gaze. The Captain gave his thigh another squeeze.

"Beyond that, the press conference. Are you sure? We’ve released the full video now, and Pala was saying it’s getting good feedback. But you don’t have to do the press conference if you don’t want to. If you do, I’ll be with you every step of the way. I don’t think what you did was wrong, but the public who don’t in this world will have a hard ti accepting it." Kellen noticed that it was his turn to comfort Rhys. Putting his cup down, he reached out and placed his hand on his thigh, giving it a squeeze. The Captain’s eyes widened.

"I was actually planning to do the press conference on my own because I knew that you were busy, and that the public wasn’t going to view this positively. I don’t want to burden you or anyone else this ti. I got myself into this ss, I can get myself out." The smile fell from his face.

"I don’t want to see you facing them alone. You have my support. I am here to support you." Kellen really appreciated his vigor when it ca to this, even if it sounded a bit desperate.

"I know that, but I want to do this my way. I’m also planning to wear the Field Guide uniform again. This isn’t a Guild issue, this is a Field Guide issue as well as a Guide issue. It just so happened to take place in the Guild." Kellen sighed, and looked towards the Captain. His expression was bad, and he looked very concerned. "People have a lot of misconceptions about Espers and Guides, with the worst being the actual Espers and Guides themselves. This is my truth, but it isn’t everyone’s. So, I would like to do it my way." He tensed, staring at Kellen’s face, searching it for sothing, before he closed his eyes and sighed.

"It’s only your second press conference. They’re going to eat you alive." He told Kellen seriously, and Kellen shrugged.

"I’ve been in stressful situations before where harsh words have been thrown at . I feel like I can handle a few reporters trying to blast for beating up so people on cara. I’ve done worse off cara." Kellen joked, and the Captain’s gaze sharpened.

"Have you actually left people to die before, Kellen?" He asked and Kellen shook his head negatively without a second thought.

"That was an example. I’ve lost others before, but never intentionally, and I always tried to save them until I couldn’t." The Captain breathed out. Kellen at first thought that the Captain actually thought that Kellen would have left soone to die in the gates, and got offended. The Captain’s soft chuckle stopped him though.

I’m glad that you haven’t, but don’t tell them that. Keep it vague, don’t let them know the truth. You have more power if they are afraid of you, then if they aren’t." When Kellen gave him a slightly worried look at his advice, he grinned. "It’s an Esper thing. I believe that they’ll co into this press conference treating you like one since your behaviour was what they would call ’out of line’ for a Guide." The Captain laughed at the way Kellen scrunched up his face in annoyance at his words.

"I know that’s not true, but for the people who live and work in this city, you are an anomaly. A Guide who could snap a grown man’s arm in half? They would never think a Guide was capable of that, even in their wildest dreams. Even though it is a known fact that Guides are stronger than civilians." He sighed, his hand squeezing Kellen’s thigh hard enough that Kellen worried he was going to have a bruise in the shape of the Captain’s hand there. "We are going to have security there, but please be careful. There could be so sympathizers who get in and they might try to hurt you." His eyes held such concern for Kellen, and Kellen softened.

"I’ll be fine. You’ll be nearby, and I’m sure others will as well. Plus, I assu more reporters don’t have super strong powers, right?" The Captain stared at him, processing Kellen’s words before he smiled, shaking his head. He reached over and took a sip of his calming tea. Kellen waited as the Captain took a minute to himself, before he put the cup back on the coffee table and then leaned towards Kellen. Surprised, the Captain was able to cup Kellen’s face in his hands without much protest.

"Of course I’ll be nearby. How could I ever let My Kellen do anything dangerous without ? I have a eting with the Captains, but they’ll understand if I arrive late. No doubt they’ve already seen the video as well. Have you spoken to your parents yet?" He asked kindly and Kellen felt his face drain of all colour. Oh fuck.

"I haven’t. Uh, oh shit." Fumbling, Kellen reached for his phone and found that he had no calls, no texts, nothing. That didn’t make him feel better. Kellen swore up a storm, much to the Captain’s glee. "I’m in so much trouble. Even if I call now it won’t make it better. I’d better leave this till tomorrow. I’ll take the verbal beating then." The Captain’s eyes were soft and warm as he looked over Kellen’s panicking form.

"Your parents really love you, huh?" Kellen nodded.

"Of course. Don’t yours?" He shook his head, his hand stroking Kellen’s cheek where he still had it. His other hand had fallen back to Kellen’s thigh.

"No. I’m an orphan." Kellen froze. What? "They died when an Esper surged about 20 years ago." He continued. "I try not to tell everyone about it, but for so reason I thought you would have already known that, Kellen." Kellen imdiately felt like shit.

"I am so so-" He covered Kellen’s mouth with his hand.

"Don’t apologise. You didn’t know. Again, I try not to show off to others my personal life, and no one is going to talk about my dead parents behind my back in the dia since I’m an S Class Esper. They especially stopped publishing stories about my dark past once I beca a Guild Captain. But even then, it was in bad taste. They were civilians who happened to give birth to a monster." He chuckled, while Kellen’s heart thudded in his chest.

"You aren’t a monster, Captain." He smiled at Kellen’s words, but it was clear he didn’t believe them.

"Thank you for saying so Kellen, but no one agrees with you. Don’t worry, I’m not upset about it. Being one just ans I try my hardest not to scare those around ." He smiled at the Guide who looked horrified. "It would devastate if you ever truly feared ." Kellen didn’t know what to say.

Sure, there were tis where the Captain was scary, but he was a powerful man who held himself with a tight leash. He basically never surged, never pushed himself too far, and never used overwhelming force. He was powerful, but didn’t flaunt that power. Enough so that people forgot he was an S Class, like Kellen did. That took serious dedication and self discipline, and as soone who had to have that from a young age since his parents had died as he found out his powers, it made Kellen’s heart ache.

"Did you...find out you were an Esper on the day that the Esper surged?" Kellen asked, already knowing the answer to the question. The Captain nodded, and Kellen sighed, before reaching out and hugging him tightly. The Captain hesitated for only a mont before he hugged Kellen back just as tightly. "You are not a monster. You will never be one." Kellen told him fiercely and he chuckled.

"I can think of only one situation where I could truly beco a monster, Kellen. I pray it never cos to be."