Ash’s pov ;
The servants ca to inform that dinner was ready, but I felt a wave of frustration wash over as I couldn’t bring myself to eat without Elijah by my side.
"Sir, dinner is served," one of the servants said politely, bowing slightly.
"I’m not eating until Elijah is back," I snapped, my voice sharper than I intended. The servants exchanged uneasy glances but said nothing, retreating quietly to give space.
We got back from our vacation and Elijah went to his business as usual. But I didn’t, I dropped out of the drama since the bullying there was too much and my ntal health was going downhill.
So after Elijah leaves for work, I’m practically alone at ho.
And the loneliness was overwhelming.
It was worse than anything I had ever experienced. I had thought that I had known what loneliness was, but I was wrong.
This loneliness was different. This loneliness was deeper, darker, and more consuming. It was a loneliness that went beyond the physical absence of another person; it was a loneliness that dug deep into the soul, that left an aching void that could never be filled.
I was truly alone, without anyone to talk to or confide in. And it was a loneliness that ate away at , leaving empty and broken inside.
Ever since we returned from that vacation, Elijah has been busy with work and hasn’t paid any attention to . He only cos ho late at night and leaves early in the morning, so we rarely see each other.
But he would call sotis and ask about my day. But it’s not enough.
I was slowly becoming desperate and frustrated. I wanted him to be with . I wanted him to pay attention to .
I wanted to be the centre of his world, the way he was for on that vacation. I wanted him to hold in his arms and to tell that he loved , to tell that I was his.
But he wasn’t. He was always busy with work and rarely had ti for . And it was making more and more frustrated and despairing.
I know it’s selfish, but I can’t help it. I need him. I need him like I’ve never needed anyone before. My attachnt to him is getting out of control, and I wonder if its because of my condition.
My chest feels heavy when he’s not here, and my whole body craves his touch.
I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m becoming obsessed with him, with his attention, with his touch, with his love. Its turning even more bad from past when he doesn’t used to love . But now that I’m aware of his feelings and he has shown it through his actions, the obsession is getting stronger.
I can’t live without him. I need him. I need him so badly that it hurts.
My thoughts are becoming darker and darker, and I can’t seem to control them. All I can think about is him, about being with him, about being loved by him.
I know its not healthy, but I can’t help it. It’s like an addiction, a compulsion, sothing I can’t control. My sanity is slipping, and I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the darkness.
I can’t think of anything else.
I can’t concentrate on anything.
The only thing that’s keeping sane is the fact that he cos ho every night.
So, when I heard the door open and his footsteps approaching, I felt the relief and happiness I only felt with him.
The emptiness was gone, replaced by the warmth and excitent of seeing him again. I hurriedly stood up and walked towards the door.
The mont his eyes t mine, my heart started beating wildly. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy, and the smile on his face was making weak in the knees.
"Hey, there," He gave a big smile and opened his arms wide.
Without thinking twice, I quickly ran into his embrace, burying my face in his chest and inhaling his familiar scent. His arms instantly wrapped around , holding close.
The emptiness was gone suddenly, replaced by the warmth and security of his arms. The darkness was gone, replaced by the light and happiness of his presence.
I felt complete again, like a missing piece of had finally been found. My sanity was back, the darkness pushed back.
"Hmm...soone seed to miss . I wonder who that is?" he laughed smugly while rubbing my back.
"No one missed you, idiot," I pouted and rolled my eyes, hitting his shoulder making him winced dramatically. I circled my hands around his neck tightly and tiptoed. "Pick ."
"Alright, alright," He chuckled and leaned down, picking up by my thighs. I instantly wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my face in his neck, breathing in his scent. It was comforting, familiar, and so very addicting.
I could stay like this forever, wrapped in his arms. It was the only place I felt truly safe, truly happy. It was the only place I wanted to be.
The warmth, the sll, the feeling of his body against mine—it was all I needed.
I never wanted to let go. Sotis, I wonder if I’m going crazy, if my obsession with him is getting out of hand.
But in monts like this, I can’t help myself. He is all I want and all I need.
And even if I am going crazy, even if I am becoming more and more obsessed with him, I don’t care. As long as he is with , nothing else matters.
"Oh, I missed you so much," he whispered, his breath hot against my ear.
"I know," I replied causally.
"You little brat," he chuckled, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of his arms around , his body pressed against mine. "You’re supposed to say you missed too."
Instead of answering I opened my mouth and bit his neck hard making him wince. His hands around tightened and he laughed, rubbing my lower back soothingly.
"You really have beco naughtier. Did you miss that much, huh?
"Shut up, idiot," I whined, biting him again before pulling my head back to glare at him. "If you co late again, I’ll kill you."
He just stared at with a shocked expression, probably because I had threatened to kill him. Then he burst into a fit of laughter.
"What are you laughing at?" I asked, frowning at him.
"You’re so cute." He continued to laugh and leaned his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes. "How can you be so cute yet so adorable?
"Cute? ? I’m not cute! I’m angry! I’m not cute! I’m furious!" I shouted, pouting hard.
"Yes, yes, whatever you say," He smiled at lovingly and rubbed our noses together, making giggle. "You are so cute. You make want to eat you up. Which reminds did you have dinner?"
"I haven’t yet," I answered, still glaring at him. "Because a certain idiot took too long to co ho."
"Sorry," He smiled apologetically and kissed my lips lightly. "You should have eaten without ."
I remained silent and hugged him, placing my head on his shoulder. I don’t want to let him know that I couldn’t eat without him anymore. It’s pathetic and embarrassing.
His smile vanished as his eyes softened as he patted my butt. "Hey, what’s wrong?"
"Nothing," I mumbled, tightening my grip on his shoulders.
He sighed and carried to the couch. I clung to him like a koala, not wanting to let go. He sat down and pulled into his lap, holding close.
"Tell , Ash," he said gently, his voice a low murmur.
"I...missed you," I admitted because I couldn’t tell him about my dark thoughts. Also, the way he was talking to so softly right now and holding so tenderly, I can’t resist him. "I don’t like being alone."
"Hey, look at , sweetie. I want you to say it while looking at with your gorgeous face," he let out tenderly and ever so softly he tapped on my shoulder to get my attention. I reluctantly pulled away from his shoulder and looked at him. He was smiling at with a loving look.
"I missed you too, sweetheart," he whispered. His words sent a rush of warmth through my body, and I felt myself relax. My heart fluttered and I sinked further in his lap. He gazed down at with a hearty expression while I looked at him with the distressed face. He extended his hand to rest it on my cheek. "More than you think. I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute, every second. Your face, your eyes, your smile. It’s all I can think about. You’re stuck in my head, baby. You’re all I want, all I need."
The butterflies in my stomach went crazy, and the warmth inside spread to every part of my body. I finally felt at ease, my anxiety fading away. The darkness I was feeling returned but this ti it was satisfied.
I feel better.
"So don’t worry, okay?" He whispered while kissing my nose and rubbing his thumb on my cheeks. "I’ll always be here for you, always. Even when you’re angry with , even when you hate , even when you push away. I’ll never leave you. You’re mine and I’ll do anything to make you happy. I love you, baby."
Those words, the ones I’d wanted to hear for so long, were finally said. He loved . I closed my eyes and snuggled into his chest, the words playing over and over in my mind.
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