Ash’s pov ;
Elijah’s eyes darted between Benji and , a look of disappointnt etched on his face. And it was clear what he was thinking, probably why did he give a chance.
And the murmurs from the crowd didn’t help the situation at all.
"Why is he even back?"
"Didn’t he go to jail for trying to murder his sister?
"Why would anyone risk hiring him?"
These people knew nothing about my past or the truth. Yet, they have the audacity to utter garbage about .
"Ash suddenly attacked Benji when Benji was just congratulating him." Soone explained to Elijah.
"Ash, what were you-" Elijah began with a fierce glare towards but Benji cut him off.
"Elijah!" He grabbed Elijah’s arm, his voice oozing with pain and fake concern. "Please don’t scold Ash. I don’t bla him for hitting . He must be tired and overwheld after everything he’s been through."
His words were more like a taunt but again no ones sane enough to understand them there. Hiding behinding Elijah, his smug face infuriates further. So, without thinking I lunged at him again.
"You fakeass-"
"Ahh—!"
"Ash, behave yourself!" However, Elijah was ready to intervene this ti, pulling away aggressively and shoving away from Benji.
"Let go! This bastard deserves more punches!" In blind rage, I shoved soone hard, not realising it was Elijah I was pushing. He stumbled, then fell to the floor.
Gasps filled the room. And I froze.
"What did he do?"
"Did he just push Elijah?"
"Wow, Mr. Stone has fired him a long ti again. This is how he pays his kindness."
"They should kick him out of the drama already. Who would like to watch such an arrogant and snobbish actor."
Their disdainful and negative comnts weren’t reaching because I was busy looking down at Elijah. He was on the ground gazing at , he shook his head and clicked his tongue in disappointnt.
My heart pounded in my chest so loud I could hear it in my ears. My palms were sweaty and cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I was too deep in guilt before the reality sinked in.
What...did I just do?
I felt suffocating, the judgental gaze from the crowd and Elijah’s discontented eyes made feel small. It made feel like a kicked dog that couldn’t help but bite back. I wished the ground could break and swallow whole. So, I don’t have to face anyone.
Daniel helped Elijah pull up, but my mind was a blur. The pain in my head was increasing, my heart racing too fast. I barely registered Elijah grabbing my wrist and dragging along forcefully.
The next thing I knew, I was slumped in a chair in Elijah’s office and Daniel was speaking sothing but his voice felt distant and muffled. "Mr Stone is handling the situation, don’t worry. Benji is on the way to the hospital. Mr Stone is talking to the director now."
I nodded chanically, my leg bouncing uncontrollably. The click of the door broke through my haze, and Elijah’s voice filled the room, sharp and cutting. "Thank you, Daniel. You can take your leave now."
Daniel’s footsteps retreated, leaving a heavy silence.
I kept staring at the floor, unable to et Elijah’s eyes when he approached . His polished leather shoes entered my view, and I flinched at the vigour in his voice. "What were you thinking, Ash?" he demanded harshly. "Do you realise you almost lost this role? I have to beg the director for another chance. I have never begged before but today you made do it too. Are you satisfied now?"
I didn’t speak but the shaking of my leg increased, my knee bouncing nervously. So, he thinks it’s my fault too, just like everyone else. Sotis, I wonder why he bothers to stand up for at all.
I feel so fucking tired and frustrated and angry. At Elijah, at myself. I hate how he makes feel with his judgntal tone. I just want him to shut up. I want the world to just stop for a mont, so I can catch my breath. I want...I need sothing, anything, to stop all this bullshit around .
I look at Elijah, at his perfectly gelled hair and his ticulous suit. At his cold eyes and stern jawline. The enraged expression on his face was ugly, the anger twisting his handso features into sothing monstrous.
I wanted to hurt him.
The thought ca from nowhere, but it was overwhelming, like a dam bursting open. I wanted to hurt everyone who’s hurting .
"That’s why you begged to take your na off the blacklist, just so you could create a ss again?" He growled angrily.
A bitter chuckle escaped , my eyes glistening with unshed tears. As if he wasn’t the reason I got blacklisted in the first place just to end up in this ss.
"You’re laughing? Why are fuck are you laughing?!"
My face felt hot and tight, every muscle in my body trembling. My shoulders hunched, and my hands twisted in my lap, knuckles white from the apprehension. The vulnerability was etched into every line of my body, my thoughts were a chaotic ss.
It doesn’t feel like my life anymore. I’m just living on commands, a puppet on strings. Everything felt useless and empty.
"I’m sorry," I whispered weekly. "I didn’t an to make you beg the director because of . I just...lost my temper for a mont."
He wasn’t even listening to my explanation. "That still doesn’t give you the right to hit Benji. He’s also an employee under my company. It’s my responsibility to make sure they’re protected."
Seeing him defending Benji, sothing inside snapped. "I don’t give a fuck about your responsibility!" I cried out, my voice breaking. "If that dirty, good-for-nothing actor provokes again, I’ll hit him again."
My chest heaved with the effort of breathing, tears threatening to roll down my face. I was tired, broken, and it seed like there was no way out.
His eyes widened, then narrowed. "Then, you’ll face the consequences."
I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms. "Consequences? My whole life has been nothing but consequences!" I shouted. "You think I care about your rules and responsibilities? After I have lost everything?!"
He lost his temper and abruptly sat down beside , gripping my arms like steel bands. "What did Benji do that was so bad you had to stoop so low to hit him? You need to keep your temper at bay. You’re not a reputable actor anymore where your every mistake will be slided–"
"He taunted by saying I slept with you to get this role!!"
He froze, his expression morphing from anger to stunned disbelief. The weight of his gaze felt heavy on my face, and I could feel the heat rising, my vision blurring with unshed tears. I shoved him back, my chest heaving with each ragged breath. "Did you even ask why I punched him? No, you just jump to conclusions like always. Why do you always believe everyone else but not ? Do you know how much it hurts, Elijah?"
My voice rose and he stared at in disbelief. "Do you know how hard it is to fight everything and everyone alone? When there’s no one to turn to?"
I grabbed his collar, my fingers clenching right and shaking with sobs. Elijah’s blank stare only fueled my desperation. "Why do you hate so much? Why don’t you tell ?!"
The room seed to spin as I struggled to breathe, my chest tight with suppressed pain. "Do you know how alone and...lonely I felt in our marriage? Always b-begging for just one look from you. One look, yet you could never give that. Do you know how it feels to be invisible to the one person who should see you the most? To feel like you’re nothing, like you don’t matter at all?"
My voice cracked with every word and cried, ca out of . It was embarrassing to cry in front of him. But I feel like I’d die if I kept these emotions bottled anymore.
"Every day, I woke up hoping today would be different, that you’d see , that you’d care. But you never did. And now, after everything, you still don’t. What do I have to do for you to see , Elijah? What do I have to do for you to care?"
Tears stread down my face, my body convulsing with the force of my grief. But he remained silent, his face a mask of shock and confusion, his body slightly shrinking from my emotional onslaught.
While crying, I rested my head on his shoulder, not wanting to show him how pathetic I looked while crying like a baby. "You took everything from , Elijah. N-Not leaving a...single thing."
His body stiffened under my touch but I don’t think that he gives a damn about . I took a shaky breath, my tears soaking through his shirt. "You w-wanted to hurt , to ruin my life, but did you have to be so cruel? Why don’t you feel any...sympathy for ?"
He didn’t answer as expected. I continued, "Benji was right. I did sell my body to you since I’m nothing more than a dirty manwhore." My sobs grew louder making it hard to breathe.
I felt Elijah’s hands rest on my back, and he softly said my na, but I couldn’t stop. "Do you know how it felt when the only person I got attached to after my father died cheated on ? You already know about my diseases now, right?"
I looked up at him and I knew my face was a ss. He stared down at with an expression I couldn’t read, but his eyes were soft now. I gulped down air, trying to steady myself. "I never got attached to my sister and mother. They never liked and always abused until I started fighting back in defence. So what’s wrong with that?"
My sobs subsided for a mont, my breath hitching as I tried to speak. "B-But then my father left too...leaving all alone. You pushed away too, but it was worse. The only friend I have left, you won’t let et him as well. You’re the worst of everyone."
I buried my face in his shoulder. "I hate you. I hate you."
Elijah’s grip tightened slightly, his own breath coming in uneven gasps as he held . I pulled back slightly, looking up at him through my tear-filled eyes. "Why did y-you do it? Why did you...make my life a...living hell?"
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