[BL] CRAVING HIM: Addicted to His Voice Chapter 84: Fragile Forgiveness and the Weight of Desire

When we finally pulled apart, he whispered against my mouth, his voice still shaky, "Babe... that really hurt."

My chest caved in at those words. I pressed my forehead to his, stroking the back of his neck, grounding him. "I’m sorry... I’m so, so sorry," I whispered repeatedly, as if I said it enough, it would undo the damage.

He let out a shaky sigh, resting against , and though the anger hadn’t fully left, I felt the fragile thread of forgiveness weaving itself back between us.

"I love you, Zayn," I whispered, my voice trembling.

He nodded slowly, eyes softening just enough. "I know," he murmured.

I couldn’t bring myself to touch him again. My hands hovered awkwardly before I finally said, "We should... take our baths."

He gave a small, tired smile and nodded.

We showered separately, the warm water washing away the tension, though the mory of the earlier monts still lingered. When we returned to the room, I found myself apologizing again, even though I could see in his eyes that he had already forgiving , that faint, gentle smile still lingering on his lips. I couldn’t help myself, I had to apologize.

Even though he said it was fine, the weight of guilt pressed down on .

I quickly dressed, trying to regain so composure. Zayn told to go downstairs first; he wanted to make a call to his restaurant. I nodded and left the room, trying to breathe, trying to calm my racing heart. Back then, I had been scared... terrified, even. That fear returned now, lingering in my chest like a shadow.

When I reached downstairs, I only saw Chrisly, hunched over his phone. But the mont he spotted , he dropped it, concern instantly written across his face. Without a word, I rushed into his arms and broke down.

Chrisly held tight, murmuring, "Easy... what’s wrong?"

Tears stread down my face as I let out the fear, the guilt, and the panic that had been bottled up. Seeing Zayn hurt like that... it had shaken to my core.

Chrisly’s arms wrapped around tighter as I trembled against him. "Shhh... breathe, bro. It’s okay. Tell what happened."

I shook my head, hiccupping between words. "It’s Zayn... I... I hurt him... I scared him... Chrisly, I... I didn’t an to, but I..."

Chrisly leaned back slightly, concern etched on his face. "Wait... what do you an you hurt him? Was it...?"

I swallowed hard, my throat tight. "It... it was while we were... intimate. I got carried away, too rough... and he got hurt. I think I might have ruined everything."

Chrisly’s brows furrowed, his voice low but steady. "Did you apologize after?"

I nodded, my chest tightening. "Yes, I did... over and over. Even in the shower, even when he said it was fine. But I saw it in his eyes, Chris... he was still in pain. He smiled, but it wasn’t the sa smile. It... it killed ."

Chrisly’s eyes softened, and he put a hand on my shoulder. "Evric... look at . Did you an to hurt him?"

"No," I whispered, shaking my head. "I never would. I just... lost control. I don’t know if he can forgive this ti."

Chrisly shook his head gently. "Hey... listen. Zayn cares about you, right? He knows you love him. Mistakes happen, especially when emotions are raw. He might be hurt now, but that doesn’t an you ruined everything."

I let out a shaky breath, trying to believe him. "I hope... I just... I hate seeing him like that. It scared so much."

Chrisly let out a long breath, gripping my shoulder a little firr. "Evric, listen. The fact that you see his pain ans you didn’t ruin everything. If you were careless, if you didn’t care, then maybe. But you care too damn much to lose him over this."

I dragged my palms down my face, whispering, "I can’t shake the look he gave ... like I scared him. I’ve never seen him like that. I love him, Chris... and for a mont, I thought I was going to lose him right there."

Chrisly’s tone softened. "Then don’t run from it. Don’t hide behind fear. He needs to see that you’re not just sorry, but that you’re willing to change, to slow down, to listen to him next ti. Zayn’s tough, but he’s also fragile in ways he doesn’t show. Protect that, Evric."

I clenched my jaw, the ache in my chest deepening. "I swear I’ll never let it get that far again. I can’t... I can’t hurt him like that ever again."

Chrisly nodded slowly. "Good. Then when he cos down... don’t just say you’re sorry. Show him you’re still his safe place."

At that mont, the door creaked, and Zayn appeared at the top of the stairs, his shirt slightly damp from the shower, hair tousled, his eyes eting mine. For a heartbeat, I froze, afraid, nervous, but he gave a small, faint smile.

I swallowed hard. "Babe..." I whispered.

Chrisly glanced between us and then stood, clapping my shoulder before excusing himself. "I’ll give you two so space."

Zayn stopped in front of , his damp scent wrapping around , his eyes locked onto mine. "Evric... you don’t have to keep looking at like I’m broken."

He took a slow step down, letting the distance close. "I’m okay, Evric," he said softly, though I could still see the shadow of pain lingering in his eyes. "I just... needed a minute. I’m fine now."

My chest tightened. "You’re not broken. I just... I hate myself for hurting you."

"Then stop hating yourself. Just... learn from it. Love the way I need you to, not just the way you feel in the mont."

Relief surged through , and I stepped forward, my hands slightly trembling. "I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll never... I’ll never let it get that far again. I promise."

My hand hovering at his jaw but not daring to touch until he gave a tiny nod. The contact nearly undid .

"I’ll love you better, Zayn," I whispered, voice breaking. "I swear."

He nodded, the tension in his shoulders softening just slightly. "I know," he murmured. "I just... I needed you to understand how it felt. That’s all."

I cupped his face gently, pressing my forehead to his. "I understand, Zayn. I feel it too... I’ll be more careful. I love you."

His lips quirked in the faintest, tired smile, and he leaned his forehead against mine. "Then prove it. Don’t just say it."

I pressed my lips softly to his, nothing rough this ti, just a lingering kiss that carried my apology more than words ever could. He kissed back, slow, cautious... but there was forgiveness in it, fragile but real.

"Co on," he murmured, pulling back with a faint smile. "Let’s eat. I’m starving."

We walked to the dining room together, and I pulled out his chair before sitting across from him. When the food was served, I noticed the way he moved carefully, lifting the spoon to his mouth like every swallow took effort.

"Zayn..." I whispered, watching him wince just slightly as he swallowed.

He set the spoon down, eting my gaze. "Don’t, Evric. It’s nothing."

"It’s not nothing.