"I am sure I saw that bag on that day. You did not attend the banquet until you got that bag. You were waiting for your mom? Why?
"Also, why were you angry with your father?" Vernon could almost guess most of the details, but there were still so missing points, and he needed her answer to finish the puzzle.
Helena opened her mouth, but no words ca out of her lips.
It is not that she doesn’t want to answer him. But she just didn’t know how to answer him. She couldn’t form a proper sentence to explain the matter to him.
"Is it because of the issue on that day?" Vernon asked, almost understanding her expressions.
Helena nodded.
"Did your father blackmail you?" He asked again to confirm his doubts.
Helena nodded once again.
"Using your mother’s ashes?" Vernon felt sothing struck in his throat when he asked this question.
Helena nodded again.
Vernon stopped breathing.
Even though he had already guessed such a thing, he couldn’t believe it or accept it when he saw Helena confirming it.
Helena’s father blackmailed her using her mom’s ashes.
How could she not be angry with him?
He finally understood why he did not hear anything from Helena’s inner voice regarding this matter during their wedding or later.
It was because Helena was subconsciously avoiding thinking about this issue.
It is not sothing happy that she would recall at every chance she got. Instead, if possible, she wanted to forget about it as soon as possible.
When she did not dare to think about that matter, how could he hear about it?
He took a few deep breaths to calm his emotions.
Once calm, he looked at her and asked, "So, you didn’t want to marry at that ti but were forced by your father?"
So, his plan at that ti almost succeeded but failed because of her father doing such a thing?
Helena raised her head and looked at Vernon. This ti, she did not nod imdiately.
She looked at his face for a long ti, very seriously, before she finally opened her lips to speak, "Vernon, what exactly do you think of ?"
"Huh?"
"Do I look like soone who wants to marry a person who doesn’t want to marry ?" Helena asked again.
Vernon did not reply.
"Do I look like soone who enjoys her dignity being trampled on by soone?"
Vernon did not reply.
"Do I look like soone who likes to clean up the sses created by soone?"
Vernon did not reply.
"Do I look like soone who has no self-respect?"
Vernon did not reply.
"What exactly do I look like to you?" Helena asked him.
Vernon shook his head.
"What do you an by shaking your head? Give an answer." This ti, Helena did not let him be.
"You don’t look like that. I never saw you as such a person, Helena," Vernon replied sincerely. That was the reason why when so many people had talked badly about her in front of him, he never trusted them but always stood by her side without hesitation. "Not before. Not now. Not in the future. Never."
"Then how did you think that I will marry you after what had pulled at our wedding?" Helena asked him.
Her eyes were filled with tears, which she had not shed since their wedding. She did not talk about this issue until now.
"I wanted to know that as well," Vernon did not change the topic as well and answered what was in his heart all this while. "I understood that you knew I planned that. But I did not understand why you still married after what I did."
"Why did you think?" Helena asked.
"I never understood Helena. I never understood anything. I wanted to be smart. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know what my wife was thinking all the ti. I wanted to be the man who could take care of any issue all by himself. I wanted to be soone like my brother.
"But, Helena, I realized recently that I am nowhere near what I wanted to be.
"Yes, I know I am not smart enough. I have known that for a long ti. I know I have many defects. But I wanted to be a good husband. I always thought that no matter where I win or not, I will win at being a good husband. Only recently did I realize that I can’t. No matter what I do, I will fail at being a husband in the end.
"As a failed husband, how can I understand what you were thinking when you married ?"
Helena blinked her eyes.
She did not understand a word he said. But she felt that there was sothing deep in his words.
She did not reply. She did not say a word.
"Helena, I am a bad husband. That was why I wanted to avoid being your husband in the first place. But I failed at one more thing again. I failed. But I never understood why. I thought that if you got angry because of a woman, you would cancel the wedding.
"But once again, I failed to understand you. Just like every other ti, I did not understand you. I tried to understand you, but I failed again and again.
"Now, honestly, I don’t have the energy anymore. I don’t want to understand anyone. I just want to live my life alone. I am scared. So what if I understand you, and so what if I don’t understand you? It is not like I can actually change things just because I can understand you, right?
"So, please. I beg of you. Stop asking to understand you anymore. I don’t want to understand anything or anyone. I don’t want to understand you or soone else. I don’t even want to understand myself anymore. I don’t care about anything."
Vernon had a huge outburst. He felt defeated. He felt his energy drained.
Reviews
All reviews (0)