Leila’s POV:
I knew Drake hated the thought of even considering an abortion. The disappointnt, the anger—it was all there beneath the surface, just waiting to explode. I didn’t bla him for it, but I wasn’t ready for this child. I didn’t feel capable, and every ti I imagined myself as a mother, I felt nothing but dread. I knew Drake would never forgive if I went through with it. Hell, he wouldn’t even let do it if he had the slightest chance to stop .
The weight of his feelings was crushing, suffocating . But I also knew that I needed to make my own decision, sothing that I felt was right for , even if it seed impossible. I needed advice from soone who had been through sothing similar—soone who wasn’t blinded by their love for or the idea of family. That’s why I chose to go to Nelly.
Nelly had always been a source of calm, a voice of reason amidst all the chaos that surrounded us. She had her own experience with children, especially since she and Lucas had adopted Lily’s baby after she left him at the hospital. If anyone could offer a level-headed perspective, it was Nelly. I didn’t know if she would understand, but I hoped she would listen without judgnt.
When I found her, she was with Lily, playing with the baby. They looked peaceful, and for a mont, I hesitated. Was this really the right ti? But the urgency in my heart pushed forward.
"Hey, Nelly," I greeted her, forcing a smile. My eyes flickered toward Lily briefly, but I kept my tone polite. "Can we talk? Alone?"
Nelly looked at , sensing the seriousness in my voice. She glanced at the baby, clearly torn. Lily noticed and spoke up quickly, as if reading her mind.
"I’ll watch him," Lily offered with a smile, picking up the baby in her arms. "Go on, Nelly. I’ve got this."
Nelly hesitated, but after a mont, she nodded, trusting Lily with the baby. I could see the anxiety in her eyes, though. She didn’t fully trust Lily, and I didn’t either. That’s why I suggested we stay close, just in case.
"We can talk on the terrace," I said, gesturing toward the door. "That way you’ll still be nearby."
Nelly seed relieved by the suggestion, and we stepped outside, the cool breeze brushing against our skin as we walked to the terrace. The house felt oddly quiet in contrast to the whirlwind of emotions storming inside . Nelly watched carefully, sensing that sothing was very wrong.
After a few monts of silence, she spoke. "Leila, I’m glad you ca to talk to . You’ve been acting so strange lately, and whenever I asked if sothing was wrong, you always said you were fine. But I knew you weren’t."
Her words were gentle, but they hit deep. I took a shaky breath and turned to face her, the weight of what I was about to say pressing down on . I didn’t know how she would react, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore.
"I’m pregnant," I blurted out, my voice quieter than I intended.
For a brief mont, Nelly’s face lit up with happiness. Her eyes sparkled, and I could see her ready to congratulate . But then she stopped abruptly, her expression shifting when she saw the look on my face.
"What’s wrong?" she asked, her brow furrowing in concern. "A baby is sothing to be happy about, Leila. But you... you’re not jumping for joy like I thought you would."
I looked away, trying to gather the strength to explain how I felt, but the words caught in my throat. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be excited like Nelly was, but I couldn’t shake the fear that had consud from the mont I realized I was pregnant. How could I explain that I wasn’t ready, that the thought of being a mother terrified ?
"I... I don’t know if I can do this," I admitted, my voice trembling. "I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mother."
Nelly’s face softened as she reached out to touch my arm. "It’s okay to be scared, Leila. Having a baby is a big deal, and it’s natural to have doubts. But why do you think you can’t do this?"
I closed my eyes, the mories of my own childhood flooding my mind. The neglect, the pain, the abandonnt. "Because I don’t know how to be a mother. I never had one, at least not one who loved . I don’t know what that kind of love looks like. What if I ss up? What if I hurt this child the way my mother hurt ?"
Nelly listened quietly, her eyes full of understanding. "Leila, you’re not your mother. Just because you had a difficult childhood doesn’t an you’ll be a bad mother. You have Drake, and you have people who care about you. You don’t have to do this alone."
"But what if I’m not good enough?" I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. "What if I’m too broken to give this child the love they deserve?"
Nelly’s grip on my arm tightened gently, grounding . "Leila, none of us are perfect. We all have our fears and insecurities, but that doesn’t an we can’t be good parents. Love isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up, even when things get hard. I’ve seen how much you’ve grown, how strong you are. I know you can be a great mother."
I shook my head, the fear still gnawing at . "Drake thinks I’m strong, but he doesn’t understand. He’s so excited about the baby, but I... I’m not. I don’t feel the sa way he does, and I’m afraid that I’ll resent the child if I go through with this. What if I end up like Lily?"
The words slipped out before I could stop them, and Nelly’s face darkened slightly at the ntion of Lily. She stayed quiet for a mont, thinking carefully about what to say.
"Leila," she began, "you’re not Lily either. Lily made her choices, and while I don’t agree with what she did, that doesn’t an you’ll do the sa. The fact that you’re even here, talking to about your fears, shows that you care. You’re already thinking about what’s best for your child, and that’s the most important part of being a mother."
I wanted to believe her, I really did. But the doubt was still there, gnawing at the edges of my heart. I had no idea what kind of mother I would be, and the fear of failure was too overwhelming.
"I don’t know what to do," I admitted, wiping at my tears. "I’ve even thought about... ending it. I don’t know if I can handle this."
Nelly’s eyes widened in shock, but she quickly composed herself. "Leila, don’t make any decisions out of fear. I know this is scary, and it’s overwhelming, but don’t let your fear drive you to do sothing you’ll regret. Take so ti, talk to Drake, and really think about it. You’re stronger than you realize."
I nodded, but my heart was still heavy. Nelly’s words were comforting, but they didn’t erase the fear inside . I had no idea what the right choice was, and I was terrified of making the wrong one. How could I bring a child into the world when I didn’t even know if I could love it the way a mother should?
As Nelly and I sat there in silence, the weight of my decision pressed down on even harder.
I wasn’t sure if I could do this.
And I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to.
**Leila’s POV:**
"Leila, I’ve seen you with kids, and you’re great," Nelly said, her voice gentle but filled with conviction. "I know you’ll be a wonderful mother. You can even ask the kids at the orphanage. Those kids love you, and you can see it in their little eyes every ti they see you."
Her words hit like a wave, pulling from my spiral of fear. The kids at the orphanage... I’d always gone there to help out, play with them, and bring so joy to their lives, especially since I knew what it felt like to be alone. Those children had always brought a strange sense of peace. Their laughter, their innocence—it was like a temporary escape from the darkness that had shaped my own childhood.
I loved spending ti with them. There was a freedom in being around children, a simplicity in their affection. They didn’t judge or expect anything from except to be there with them. The truth was, I hadn’t even realized how much they adored . But now that Nelly was pointing it out, mories of their bright, hopeful faces rushed to my mind, and a lump ford in my throat.
"Those kids... they’re different," I whispered, my voice trembling. "They’re not mine. It’s easier with them because I can leave whenever it gets too much. I’m not responsible for them, not like I would be with my own child."
Nelly nodded, understanding the weight of what I was saying, but she didn’t back down. "I get it. But Leila, you have sothing special in you that those kids see. They trust you because they know you care, even if you don’t realize it yourself. And you wouldn’t be doing all of this if you didn’t have the heart for it. You don’t walk away from those kids when it gets hard, do you?"
I shook my head slowly, rembering how many tis I’d stayed late, comforting a child who was having nightmares or just needed soone to hold them. No, I hadn’t walked away from them. Sohow, I’d always found the strength to stay.
"You’ve got it in you, Leila," Nelly said softly. "You just have to believe it."
I sat there, her words washing over , but still, the doubt lingered. Nelly’s faith in was comforting, but it didn’t erase the fear I had about being a mother. A mother to my own child. There was sothing so final, so terrifying about it.
"I want to believe that," I said after a long pause, my voice barely above a whisper. "But what if I ss up? What if I hurt this baby without aning to? What if..."
Nelly cut off gently. "You’re thinking too far ahead. No one has all the answers when they beco a parent. You’ll figure it out, just like the rest of us. And you won’t be alone, Leila. You’ve got Drake, you’ve got Lucas, and you’ve got . We’ll help you through it."
I bit my lip, my hands shaking slightly as I rubbed them together. "I just... I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready."
Nelly took a deep breath, looking at with those calm, reassuring eyes that always seed to know more than she let on. "I don’t think anyone ever feels completely ready. But that doesn’t an you can’t be an amazing mother. The fact that you’re this worried, this scared, it shows how much you care. That’s more than enough to make you a good mom."
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding, but the fear hadn’t fully lifted. I knew Nelly was right, but how could I trust myself to not repeat the mistakes my mother had made? How could I be sure that I wouldn’t beco like her?
As if sensing my inner turmoil, Nelly reached over and squeezed my hand. "Take your ti with this, Leila. Don’t make any decisions while you’re still afraid. Talk to Drake. You know he’d do anything for you. Let him help you through this."
I nodded, though a part of still resisted. I didn’t want to rely on anyone else for this decision—it was too personal, too heavy. And deep down, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted this baby. Was that wrong? Was I horrible for feeling that way?
Nelly stood up, smoothing her hands on her shirt before giving a kind, understanding smile. "I’ll be here if you ever need to talk again. But don’t keep this to yourself, okay? You’re not alone, Leila."
With that, she headed back inside, leaving alone on the terrace with my thoughts swirling around like a storm.
I stared out into the distance, watching as the trees swayed in the wind. The guilt weighed heavily on , mixing with the fear until I could barely breathe. How could I possibly be a mother when I felt so broken? When I still carried the wounds of my past?
I thought about the baby growing inside , a tiny life that I hadn’t asked for, hadn’t expected. A life that would depend on for everything. The thought was overwhelming, crushing. And as much as I wanted to believe Nelly, a part of still wondered if this was all a mistake.
Was I even capable of giving this child the love and care they deserved? Or would I just pass on the pain, like my mother had done to ?
I closed my eyes, the emotions crashing over in waves. I had no idea what the right choice was, and I wasn’t sure I ever would.
But one thing was clear—I couldn’t keep this from Drake any longer. Whatever decision I made, it would affect him too. And I knew he would fight for this baby with everything he had.
I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to fight with him.
The thought of terminating the pregnancy lingered in the back of my mind like a dark shadow. It would be an escape, a way out of the fear and uncertainty. But could I live with that decision? Could I look Drake in the eye knowing I had taken away the life he was already so excited to welco?
I didn’t know. And that terrified more than anything.
I stood up from the chair, my hands trembling as I wrapped my arms around myself. The fear was suffocating, but I couldn’t make this decision right now. Not when everything felt so uncertain.
But one thing was for sure—I had to talk to Drake. He needed to know what was going through my mind, no matter how difficult the conversation would be.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what was to co. I didn’t know how he would react, and part of was afraid that this would tear us apart. But I couldn’t keep this secret any longer.
As I walked back toward the house, a single thought lingered in the back of my mind, chilling to the core.
What if I wasn’t ready to be a mother?
What if... I chose not to be?
Would I really consider ending this pregnancy? Could I bring myself to do it, knowing what it might cost ?
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