Chapter 269 - Shadows of the Ancient Sovereign
Nathan Evenhart:
I jolted awake, my heart racing and my breath ragged. The darkness I had fallen into had robbed of any sense of ti, plunging into a deep limbo. My body, drained to its limits, simply ceased functioning, leaving in a state of minimal existence. There were no dreams, no rest—just an absolute emptiness, as if I had been completely disconnected from reality. When I finally regained consciousness, my mories were confused, fragnted, and an overwhelming sense of despair took hold.
It felt as though I had been alone in that darkness for decades. The concept of ti seed to vanish, as if it crawled in that limbo, moving more slowly. Being alone, engulfed by darkness with only a sliver of consciousness, was suffocating.
Instinctively, I looked at my hands, checking them quickly, searching for sothing familiar. My chest thudded erratically, as if I needed imdiate confirmation of who I was. mories of my past life flooded my mind, and for a brief mont, I feared that life had been nothing more than a dream. But when I saw my hands—Nathan Evenhart’s hands—the relief flooded my body. I was in my room, healed, and beside , Cylla slept, in her form of a small phoenix.
I am ... I thought, still trying to calm my heart. As I rembered, in that vast darkness, I had dread of the serpent-dragon.
However, the weight of what I had done in Nikolaus Wolves' fortress settled in. The mories of my past life, as Icarus, mixed with those of Nathan, creating a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.
Sorry, Sisika...
I had allowed my old self to take control. The images of Icarus’s wars, the screams, the pleas for rcy, ca back to haunt . As Nathan, I found myself repeating acts I swore I would never commit again.
In this new life, I had decided not to do that anymore. I only killed truly evil people, beings who did not deserve to live. But in that fortress, I had taken the lives of soldiers… n who were just following their superiors’ orders.
In my old world, I ended wars. I did that so no one would suffer as I had. And now, there, in that bed, I felt like the most vile person who ever existed. I let the darkness inside take control. The worst part was knowing it was still there, deep and relentless, waiting for the right mont to be unleashed again.
On the wall in front of , the shadow of a throne appeared, surrounded by fire and destruction. It was a vision that had haunted in another life, a symbol of absolute power and the loneliness it brings. I closed my eyes, trying to push the image away, struggling to maintain control.
I need to be myself.
When I opened my eyes, Goddess Athena was there. At the foot of my bed, watching with that enigmatic gaze. Her gentle smile contrasted with the seriousness in the depths of her eyes. She looked at the shadow of the throne on the wall, then back at , and shook her head slightly, as if judging .
Athena approached, her fingers trailing across the bedspread until they reached my body. She leaned closer to , her warm breath tickling my ear.
“Icarus, you know we could...” she whispered in a sweet, seductive voice. “We both, ruling together, as I suggested before... before you killed . My dear General...” She smiled, her words laden with promises and dangerous mories.
I took a deep breath, struggling not to be swayed by the temptation of the darkness she brought. I can't go back to being who I was. Not anymore.
“Your mory is full of flaws, Icarus...” she whispered, her voice dripping with venom. “Sotis you believe you invaded the underworld on your own, other tis you convince yourself that it was I who sent you there. You know full well I didn’t do that to Helen... that was an illusion, a falsehood created by your mind. The Sovereign that existed inside you locked away your greatest secret, layering it with trauma and illusory lies.”
Her cold fingers slowly slid across my forehead, the tip of her nail gently scratching my skin, almost affectionate, but with a cruel weight behind the touch.
“You know... deep down, you always knew.” Her voice was a lodic whisper, echoing as if reaching the deepest cracks in my mind.
“Rember... Rember what’s buried inside you. Stop hiding behind those lies...”
She pressed her finger to the center of my forehead, and a sharp pain spread through my mind.
“Rember the truth... about that day... the day of my death.”
Those words from Athena triggered sothing terrible within , sothing I had buried deeply in my past life. I felt a shiver, a cold running down my spine, as hidden, dark, and terrifying mories began to erge. My chest tightened, and I soon started to hyperventilate. The re glimpse of that secret, locked away even from my own consciousness, left nauseous, as if the air around had beco poisoned. The world started spinning, and I felt my body give way, my mind teetering on the edge of an abyss I didn’t want to rember.
No. I can’t... I thought, struggling against the rising terror. Sothing I had eliminated with the powers of a Sovereign God was scratching the surface, about to erge. A secret I had erased from my own mind, but now it was forcing its way back. The dizziness increased, and nausea overtook as Athena laughed at , pointing, as if she knew exactly what I was trying to forget. Because she did. She always knew.
I fell to the side, unable to move, immobilized by fear. The darkness around began to close in, the shadows of my mind, the cracks that hid the secret I should never rember, closing in. I couldn’t breathe, speak, or scream. I was trapped, reliving the deepest pains of my life as Icarus. The mories ca back with overwhelming force: the poison choking in those terrible nights, the mont I lost Helen, sent to war because of , the despair of holding her in my arms as she died. And behind all of that, sothing even worse was coming, the secret I feared the most accompanied by a giant throne.
I closed my eyes, desperately trying to focus, pushing away the shadows stirring in my soul. But they were relentless.
“Monster! Monster!” the voices scread in the darkness. “Tyrant!”
The voices echoed closer, invading my ears as images of countless faces appeared in my mind. Each one displaying deep despair. I felt those mories pulling down, as if they wanted to drown in that sea of darkness.
The sound of the screams intensified, blending with the deafening clash of swords against shields. The cacophony engulfed , and I sank into that torrent of mories, desperate to make them silent. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop that terrifying clamor.
“My child...” A sweet, firm voice echoed, cutting through the living nightmare consuming . Suddenly, everything disappeared: the shadows, the Goddess Athena, the weight of guilt. I looked around, and I only saw her – my mother.
She rushed into the room, sitting beside on the bed, pulling into a hug. A hug that dissipated all the darkness that had inhabited my heart.
“Nate, my son...” Her voice was full of love and concern as she held tightly. That embrace was the sa one that brought to the light when I was reborn in this world, the sa warmth that surrounded when she held for the first ti. My mother was my sun, the light that always illuminated the darkness inside .
“Mom...” My voice ca out weak, and my eyes welled up with emotion and relief as I was held in her arms. All the fear, all the pain, seed to fade with that touch.
“I was so worried. You were unconscious for days.” Her voice trembled slightly as she kissed my forehead. “My son, why did you do that? Why did you use that spell?”
Each word carried the weight of her concern and desperation, and I felt my heart tighten.
"Sorry." The words ca out low, almost a whisper. "In that mont... I let myself be consud by the shadows."
I felt her embrace tighten, a gesture that, though firm, brought the warmth of comfort. Being there, in her arms, was reassuring for both of us.
She kissed my head again, her affection filling the room with a calm only she knew how to create.
"A part of died when I imagined you leaving... and I would have gone with you if that had happened." Her voice was a mixture of pain and relief as she held close. "Don’t leave , Nathan. Please, don’t abandon ."
I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her words sink into my chest.
"Can you keep hugging ?" I asked, almost a whisper. I didn’t want to return to those shadows.
"Nate, I could stay like this forever." She laughed softly, lightly tapping my cheek, and in that simple gesture, I surrendered completely to her affection. I took Cylla, who was still deeply asleep, and placed her in my lap, cradling her alongside us.
For long minutes, maybe hours, my mother didn’t let go of . Being in her arms was like sinking into a serene lake, where the temperature was perfect and the soft waters slid around , calming my soul.
But at so point, she broke the silence.
"My child..." she murmured, as she ran her fingers through my hair. "What happened there... it needs to stay there. Don’t let the weight of those mories destroy you." Her voice was gentle, but it carried a depth that touched deeply. "I fought so hard so you wouldn't have to live through a war, and I feel like I failed you, Nathan. Forgive ."
I opened my mouth to respond, but she placed a delicate finger over my lips, silencing .
"I hope one day you understand when your aunt talks about the importance of politics to avoid conflict. Wars... they only bring death. There are no winners, only survivors marked forever. Children without parents, wives without husbands. And even the 'winning' side cos back destroyed, physically and emotionally. War is devastating, not only while it's happening, but especially in what it leaves behind. Because we will always be haunted by the lives we take. There will always be ghosts accusing us of the sins we’ve committed. Don’t listen to those ghosts."
She lifted my chin, making look into her eyes, which shone with a mixture of love and sadness.
"I can’t take away the weight of the shadows that chase you, but I will always be here, if you need ." A soft kiss on my forehead, and with that, any trace of darkness that might still have inhabited my heart was dissipated.
"Thank you, mom. You always know what to say to comfort ..."
She smiled, that warm smile I had always known.
"Of course, Nate. After all, I’m your mom."
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