As I was reincarnated, I collapsed by a river bed, and ended up lying on my face. I don't know why I fell down, and now my nose hurt.
Sand stuck to as I got up. I brushed most of it off with my fingers. As I recovered, I rembered the promise that god made. At that ti, I saw my face reflected in the flowing water.
"Ehhh..."
I was rather ugly.
"Wow, this guy is really ugly."
I had the face of an especially unfashionable middle-aged man.
(Getting a girlfriend will be almost impossible. This is going to be a "hard mode" life.)
I wondered what my status was like.
na: Tanaka
gender: male
race: human
level: 1
job: nothing in particular
/
/
My MP was high. I wondered if that was related to my recovery magic.
"What are my skills like?"
passive:
magic recovery: Lv.Max
magic efficiency: Lv.Max
active:
recovery magic: Lv.Max
Exactly as I had requested. If only I had a better face I'd have no complaints.
"Hoooooo..."
I sighed at the river's surface. After sighing a bit, I started walking.
I was in so woods. But where? I tried following the river, and found sothing road-like. It was actually 10 ter wide gravel road, with forest on both sides. I'd only ever seen asphalt roads, so a gravel road seed like a fantasy setting to .
"Ah, it's a carriage, a carriage is coming."
There was a Middle Ages fantasy style carriage, pulled by 2 horses. A 2-hp carriage.
"Hey, hey!"
I tried waving at it. It went past, ignoring .
"..."
It slowly receded while making a satisfying "clunk, clunk" noise. I stood there for a while. It didn't seem like it was going to stop.
Indeed, it slowly got smaller as it continued on.
Hitch-hike: failure.
"...I guess I'll go, then?"
I walked after the carriage. The few "other carriages" that I had hoped for passed quickly.
After walking for about an hour, I found a town.
It was fairly large, and was surrounded by walls. It really had the feel of a fantasy fortress city. At least from this distance, it seed larger than Disneyland.
I stopped at a checkpoint at the entrance with so soldier-looking people.
"Show your pass."
"I don't have one."
"Then it's 10 copper coins for 10 days. Or 1 silver coin for 100 days. Choose."
"........"
Apparently an entrance fee was necessary, and I didn't have any money.
"What is it?"
"Kind of a lot of things, actually..."
(What do I do here?)
"A lot of things? Huh?"
"Sorry, nevermind."
"...eh?"
I made a U-turn.
A U-turn.
At that point, a soldier went after .
"Hey, wait there! Wait, you suspicious guy!"
"Gaah!"
Shit. He was going to catch . I ran furiously, but he was catching up. The soldier who was weighed down by clattering armor was catching this Japanese guy wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
"Haa...haaa..."
And I was caught.
"Got you!"
"Ugh...I feel sick..."
And then I threw up.
The soldier dragged back towards the checkpoint anyway. I was wrapped with a hemp rope, I was led around, and then I was in jail.
And so, I entered the town in a way I hadn't hoped for.
3 days passed while I was stuck in the jail. They gave food and water, so at least I wouldn't starve to death.
There was also a latrine. Water periodically flowed through a small basin in a corner. On the floor, there was a bed of straw. It wasn't too bad for being straw.
"...I'm bored."
There was just nothing to do. Free ti was the only thing I had, and I had lots of it.
"You think so too, right?"
I had tried saying sothing many tis, but hadn't gotten a response yet.
This jail cell had 2 people, including . The other person looked like they were around 17. They had white skin, a face with deep features, blonde hair to their hips, and blue eyes. A western beauty.
And she had big boobs, too. "Glamorous" was an appropriate word to describe her. With her just wearing a thin blouse, it was too sexy. I wanted her to have my kids.
"Um, could you at least give an answer?"
"You're annoying. Shut up."
"I see..."
I got mad.
We'd been here in the sa jail cell, but she was so distant. She was actually up against the wall, as far away as she could be.
"Do you need to use the toilet? It's better not to hold it in, you know."
"Of...of course not! Stop harassing , you criminal!"
"You're in a jail too, you know."
"Don't put in the sa category as you!"
...
She was still beautiful when pooping.
I don't know what the guards were thinking, putting a man and a woman together in the sa cell. I was happy, but seeing her and not being able to do anything about it was painful. I was getting blue balls from being in the sa room with her for so long.
"Can't we at least have a normal conversation?"
"You're the only one who wants to talk, so you can talk to yourself."
"Conversation might make being in jail a bit more bearable, you know."
"Shut up. And stop glancing at , it's gross."
(She's looking at like I'm definitely a dangerous criminal.)
Thinking about it, there was no way she would treat soone who looked like that she t in a jail cell normally. If I was a woman in her situation I probably would have reacted the sa way. I felt bad about that, so I decided to be quiet.
But I wondered what her status was like.
na: Annerose Leapman
gender: female
race: human
level: 36
job: Holy Knight
/
/
(Wow, level 36? In a typical RPG, that would be around the middle of the adventure.)
(But no, in the newer online gas the levels go much higher. Maybe she's just getting started.)
(Also, "Holy Knight" is so cool. I wish I was sothing like that.)
"......"
(That reminds : how long am I going to be here?)
If things were going to be like this, I should have asked for attack magic instead of recovery magic. If I had that I wouldn't be in jail.
Under these circumstances I couldn't do anything.
(What good is amazing recovery magic going to do here? I wish I got more cheat skills than that.)
(...what exactly are cheat skills, anyway?)
While I was sitting in the corner of the room getting annoyed, I suddenly heard soone's voice. It ca from outside the cell, and it seed like 2 n were talking.
"Hurry up and get them. The preparations for the execution are already done."
"Ah, er, understood sir!"
It was a dangerous-sounding conversation.
(Surely they're not talking about ...right?)
The echoing footsteps of the jailer were making feel nervous. And then, the sound stopped in front of my cell. The jailer took a key out of a bag, and unlocked the jail door. It opened with a dry rusty sound.
"Ti to go, rcedes."
"tch"
(Whew, it wasn't . It was my cellmate.)
Looking at her, she was chewing on her lower lip in distress. Apparently she understood sothing about the situation.
"Hurry up."
The jailer ca into the cell. It looked like he'd carry her off forcefully if necessary.
"Shut up, I absolutely won't forgive you for this!"
"Co on, hurry up."
The jailer grabber her arm and pulled her up.
Apparently this would be the day of her death. Despite her being a cute girl less than 20 years old.
"......"
As I was starting to worry about her, a conclusion ca quickly.
(I've lived with this person for 3 days and 3 nights, so I should see if I can do sothing. And if I don't do sothing now, I have no idea when I'll be able to get out.)
At that mont, the jail door was conveniently wide open.
"Umm, Mr. Jailer?"
"You shut up!"
"Waaahh!"
Pretending to be scared, I retreated towards the shallow pit on the side of the cell. Over there was so shit my cellmate had left an hour ago that hadn't been washed away yet. I grabbed so with one hand, hiding it behind .
"Co on!"
"Don't touch !"
"Silence, you traitor!"
The jailer was completely focused on her.
"Um, Mr. Jailer..."
"I told you to shut up!"
And then, I hit him in the face with the shit in my right hand.
"Aughh! My eyes! This sll!"
His nose was twisted from the small, and so of it got in his eyes. He bent over in agony. That would probably cause a bacterial infection. E. coli can be vicious.
Three cheers for the sll of that girl's poop.
While he was panicking, I pulled out the sword on his hip and stabbed him in the stomach through the leather armor he was wearing.
"Gyaaaah!"
The jailkeeper scread loudly.
"Good."
(Now we just need to escape. But it won't be easy.)
As I was thinking that, I suddenly felt weird. It was like I was filled with power, or maybe just had a lot of caffeine. Apparently I had leveled up from killing the jailer.
na: Tanaka
gender: male
race: human
level: 3
job: nothing in particular
/
/
(Wow, I went up 2 levels.)
I was glad my HP had increased. As expected, only having 9 HP would have been bad.
"...hey, you bastard! What have you done?"
She yelled at .
(Hey, it's especially important to stay calm at tis like this, miss.)
"Will you at least cooperate when we're escaping?"
After a mont of hesitation, she gave a small nod.
"I understand."
"OK then."
"But in exchange, give that sword."
(In exchange for what? Working together? I see how it is.)
"Fine."
I gave her the sword.
"From here on I'll handle things sohow. You can just follow ."
"Yeah, yeah."
"There, there's shit on the sword?!"
"That's yours."
"Shut up! Just shut up and go!"
As she said, our battle formation would be the beautiful girl in front and the ugly guy in back.
Soldiers who'd heard the jailer's cry had co. She charged forward enthusiastically, cut through the soldiers blocking us and kicked them away.
And so, we escaped from the jail.
---
The jail was to the side of a castle. The two of us ran away from the castle, towards the town. Our path went back and forth, and our pursuers lost sight of us.
Then, we ran into a back alley for a little while. She stopped running and looked back, catching by surprise. My breathing was ragged at that point, and I was relieved to stop.
(Have we finally reached a point where it's safe to stop?)
No, that didn't seem to be why she stopped. She put the point of the sword to my neck.
"You can just do as I say, now."
"...eh?"
"You're a criminal. Did you think I would overlook your jailbreak?"
"No, uh, I didn't do anything particularly bad."
"So now, I'll take you into custody personally."
"Um, but you were there too."
"Don't lump in with trash like you!"
"...are you for real?"
Even if god had given recovery magic, there was no way I could revive myself after I died.
She took so rope out of a bag she'd carried off, and I ended up being tied up on the cold stone pavent.
(When did she get rope?)
She tied my wrists behind my back, and tied that rope to a window. I felt like a dog tied up in a yard.
"Now then, you can get caught again and go back to the jail."
"...seriously? Co on..."
"No thanks are necessary, this is a free service for criminals."
And so, she ran off, leaving there.
I was left by myself in the back of the alley. Eventually, I managed to stand up sohow.
(I should see if I can escape.)
I couldn't get the rope to loosen. She'd tied unnecessarily firmly, and she'd used a stick with the rope sohow.
(Apparently that girl is an expert at tying people up.)
---
"...it's over."
I wondered if I'd starve to death there, tied up like that. I'd been stuck for long enough that my pants were already wet from urine.
(Who would co save this dirty ugly guy?)
"Ow...this seriously hurts..."
(I don't want to die, not here.)
As I was thinking that, I heard soone's voice. I turned towards that sound, and saw a few delinquent-looking young n.
"Hey, I found sothing unusual."
"Ah?"
I'd been found. They quickly ford a semicircle around .
"Umm, excuse , but could you please do sothing about this rope?"
I made an extrely awkward plea. Instead of a reply, I got a kick in the face.
"Gaaah."
"What is this guy? He's gross."
"Let's do him."
"Yeah."
"He's just a begger, so there's no problem if he dies."
"No shit."
"I could use so stress relief."
"Do it, do it."
(These guys are dangerous!)
Then they beat up. But they only beat up for a short while; how nice of them.
I was in a lot of pain when they got tired of beating up and left. Sohow they had broken the stick in the ropes and loosened them while beating up. On the other hand, I was almost dead.
na: Tanaka
gender: male
race: human
level: 3
job: nothing in particular
/
/
My HP was dangerously low.
"Recovery magic, recovery..."
As I was thinking about how to use my recovery magic, my body started glowing. The pain had disappeared, and I checked my status.
na: Tanaka
gender: male
race: human
level: 3
job: nothing in particular
/
/
"It worked! Amazing!"
Any MP I had used had already been recovered, probably because of my "MP recovery" passive skill. I almost certainly would have died if not for my recovery magic.
(This world is too dangerous!)
I'd escaped from my predicant. I was safely in the town, and the pursuers had given up. My injuries had been healed, and I was in perfect health. Things were great! Except for my ragged and bloodstained clothes.
"...I look like the ultimate slum dweller right now."
I walked to the main street, and everyone nearby avoided . I also had urine on my clothes and stank. It was fairly obvious what the people nearby thought of .
(I need so clothes.)
I looked around for so way to get better clothes.
"Clothes, clothes..."
(Ah, shit. I have no money either. I wish I had so money.)
...
(I'll have to earn so money sohow. This is a fantasy European Middle Ages-style world, so maybe there's an adventurer's guild.)
And so, I decided to find an adventurer's guild.
Reviews
All reviews (0)