I raised the issues I was thinking about as questions, and Fa Zheng responded after so contemplation.
"All things et their end, from life to non-life, none are exempt. So, one might say that everything has a day of returning to the Great True Spirit, rging with the truly omniscient, omnipotent existence," Fa Zheng said. "Since all paths lead to the sa destination, the difference lies not in the conclusion but in the journey."
"Long ago, I knew of so cultivators trying to self-realize their True Spirit, and from their perspective, returning to the Great True Spirit after death versus attaining supre wisdom while still oneself are two profoundly different concepts."
"But isn't this also a form of 'I-obsession'? With this motive as the starting point, self-realization of the True Spirit seems impossible," I said. "Moreover, after self-realization, one inevitably falls into the outco of death, without exception... at least that's what I've read in the records."
"The cultivators who pursue the realm of True Spirit as their highest goal are the most mysterious and incomprehensible group among all demon hunters. How they view their own cultivation, I can't say I understand completely," Fa Zheng said. "Perhaps even they sotis don't quite know themselves. The hardest to understand in this world isn't others, but oneself, is also what they like to say the most."
"Among them, there occasionally appear those who have lost their way, including a bizarre branch that worships death as its main the. Though reluctantly acknowledged, its culture still has many remnants in today's Luo Mountain. Most of the ti, these people are essentially suicidal fanatics self-destructing, harmless if left alone, but it's heard that during several historical periods, a seed of destruction that brings death to all humans and even leads to world annihilation once erged."
However, that's unrelated to the current situation—Fa Zheng ntioned this before returning to the topic: "In any case, I don't believe proving the True Spirit is sothing you can achieve rely by liberating the soul structure... but you'd better regard such an approach as having the sa negative consequences as self-realizing the True Spirit."
Abandoning the soul structure, rging into All Things, transforming into a truly omniscient, omnipotent existence, logically aligns with returning to the Great True Spirit through suicide. It doesn't an attaining supre wisdom while living, but being part of the infinite streams rging into the world's source after dying. In other words, it's not true self-realization of the True Spirit.
I wasn't pursuing self-realization of the True Spirit anyway, so I adhered to Fa Zheng's advice.
After a brief chat, I separated from Fa Zheng and Jian Feixian. Fa Zheng seed to need a little more ti to reboot the Teleportation Door back to the real world. In the anti, I wanted to have a long conversation with Mazao. Mazao seed eager to talk with too, and Zhu Shi gave us the space to be alone.
The Teleportation Door was near the town ruins, and we spoke behind one of the ruins. Despite the situation, I didn't quite know how to begin the conversation. The current Mazao seed to have regained all her past mories, and I was a bit worried whether she'd beco unfamiliar, creating so emotional distance from .
I might not be in a position to view Mazao this way because my Spirit has also undergone significant changes. Considering the differences inside and out, I probably changed even more than Mazao.
"Zhuang Cheng, let's sit there."
Mazao pointed to a nearby spot, where two stones were just the right size and shape to serve as makeshift stools.
I sat down on one stone, but Mazao didn't sit on the other stone. Instead, she, as usual, nestled into my arms, and hugged my arm, letting hold her tightly.
She held my arm too. I thought she wanted to say sothing, yet she remained silent. She maintained this position, like wanting to carefully feel each other's body heat, breathing quietly. Since she wished to do this, I accompanied her, relaxed my whole body, and hugged her deeply into my embrace.
A lot of ti passed that way, with no one interrupting us, nor did doomsday anomalies intrusively attack. Perhaps because Mazao could better control her 扫帚 star power now, I idly thought of many things, and only then did my state gradually detach from the tense combat mode. After relaxing, feelings of post-fear slowly erged—just not long before, I almost lost everything, nearly losing Mazao in my arms.
I bent down, placed my nose on Mazao's hair, and inhaled her scent. anwhile, Mazao turned her head, gently rubbed her soft cheek against mine.
Mazao hadn't changed a bit; she was still my Mazao. This realization truthfully floated to the surface.
My mind gradually beca tranquil.
Soon, Mazao opened the topic.
"—I've rembered many things."
With these words as the introduction, she began to recount her past.
Her retelling largely matched the conclusions I had previously drawn from interlinking various clues. Mazao initially road the Post-mortem World as a Doomsday survivor, losing all mories due to the Frenzy, and was discovered by the Evangelical Institute. The Institute, needing fresh blood, absorbed her, and later, Huang Quan, recognizing her unique talent, took her as his disciple.
While at the Evangelical Institute, Mazao t many companions, No. 7 was among them. However, most companions died due to Mazao's 扫帚 star power, and even deeply connected No. 7 experienced severe conflict with Mazao, leaving with curses.
No. 7's words deeply hurt Mazao, transforming her into soone who dared not make friends anymore.
Perhaps seeing Mazao's solitude, No. 7 seed to regret his actions at the ti and always wanted to reconcile with Mazao. Yet Mazao couldn't let go of her inner barrier, and No. 7's words couldn't reopen her heart. Later, Mazao realized the darkness of the Evangelical Institute and departed from it, losing further opportunities to converse with No. 7.
Until recently, No. 7 finally reunited with Mazao, but Mazao no longer recognized the person before her.
"The Frenzy of doomsday made lose too many mories, but perhaps in a sense, it protected . If I could clearly rember every person killed by my destiny, I certainly couldn't bear it and would choose to end myself," Mazao said.
"But now you've rembered everything," I cautiously asked. "Do you still want to end yourself?"
I did not consider those events as Mazao's sins. If one were to bla soone, it would be the Naraku Gospel, ruthlessly imposing the burden of "saving the world"—a destiny too heavy for anyone—on a young girl's shoulders. Yet I knew this rationale wouldn't console Mazao. Kind-hearted people often bla themselves for many things that aren't really their fault, while another portion of people exploit such phenona to shift their rightful bla onto others. So, I must protect Mazao at least in this regard.
If her answer were "yes" now, I would stop her, no matter what I say.
"I might have gained more courage now. And the source of my courage is holding right now," Mazao said. "I still feel unforgivable… but I want to do sothing within my capacity."
"That's good," I said.
"Zhuang Cheng, you previously told Fa Zheng you've stopped obsessing over Doomsday..." Mazao turned her head to look at .
She should know better than anyone the weight this decision carries in my heart.
"Have you given up venturing?" she asked.
I shook my head.
I haven't given up on continuing adventures, just not fixated on narrowly defined adventures anymore. Moreover, I actually still love adventures in the magic world now. The fantastic supernatural power, varied uncanny events, enemies with extraordinary ideals, continue to excite and inspire ; it's my best imagination of the adventure concept.
However, if it were from the past, I'd surely not just think this is the best, but also consider it the "only," yet now I'm no longer "solely this."
Whether holding onto this as the only way or regarding it as black history to be discarded, naively thinking growing up should be snide about it, are both ways of being ntally obstructed. If confined in such superficial and childish mindsets, truly mastering Manifestation is impossible. Now, I can view my own heart levelly, accepting all aspects of myself.
As for Doomsday, to be honest, I still have interest now, wanting to see what image I present in Doomsday and what forms of existence unfold in it. The fascination the past had for it, the present can still deeply resonate with.
However, since Doomsday would bury everything, especially the future of everyone important in my heart, I'll stand firmly against Doomsday.
"I want to save the world; this is the adventure I've chosen now," I said.
Hearing this, Mazao looked at with brightened eyes.
"As for what to do afterward, I haven't figured it out yet; maybe I'll decide then. But one thing I've decided is that by that ti, I must have you by my side," I said. "—Mazao, let's save the world together."
Upon saying this, my soul seed to beco incredibly light and bright.
Perhaps, since long ago, I've wanted to say this to Mazao.
Still, I was reluctant to face this possibility. Like closing off my ears tightly, admitting only one object in my vision. How many detours have I taken just to say this sentence?
"Mm—mm!" Mazao nodded firmly.
After enjoying tender monts for a while, we returned to the place where the Teleportation Door is.
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