"Because I understand you, Qilin." Weichi tried hard to keep his voice steady, "The past you wasn't as extre as you beca later. Gentle and kind, capable of understanding others' difficulties, proactively helping the timid and weak, and despising those who used violence to oppress others... that was your true self.
"But after being captured and imprisoned by the family and narrowly escaping death, you changed, turning into soone completely different. You showed a cold and ruthless side to the world, your words grew colder and harsher, pursuing violence recklessly, as if chased by a ferocious beast day and night, striving for greater strength,
"That's because you've been overshadowed by psychological trauma, with your inner wounds repeatedly tornting you, preventing release. You forced yourself onto the path of power pursuit, subjecting yourself to countless rigorous and painful practices, in the course of hurting yourself, you also hurt everything around you..."
Listening to his words, Qilin sighed and then said, "First, let's set the tone for our conversation."
Weichi paused slightly and asked, "... How so?"
"In the past, we've debated this issue more than once, yet never aligned. You constantly believed I never truly opened my heart, always speaking ornantal words. Of course, that leads to 'a word too many in speech that doesn't go one's way,'" Qilin stated, "But now is great, very good. I'm now in a state where I can't feign myself. Whatever I say now, you can mostly acknowledge, right?
"Of course, perhaps even then, you might find reasons not to acknowledge. For instance, 'Because I'm Impermanence, there's always a way to beco an exception,' etc., just in case, I'll elaborate: stating, 'People about to die are benevolent in their words,' although I've been dead for ages, this current dialogue is presumably my last words left in this world, and also the last conversation between us as husband and wife.
"There's no reason for to put on a dull performance in the end, so I hope you can trust my sincerity afterward and fully acknowledge my words, can you?"
"... I can." Weichi nodded reluctantly.
"Good, then I'll speak directly, Weichi. I must first admit to you, a significant reason why I've beco who I am now is because of the experience of being captured and imprisoned by the main family." Qilin said, "For a long ti, rely thinking about that utterly despairing experience made tremble uncontrollably, with countless nights waking from nightmares.
"Weakness is the original sin, without power, one deserves to lose everything, freedom, life, even the last shred of dignity... so I've pursued power at any cost, just to beco strong.
"You often said to afterward? Blaming oneself for lacking strength, hence unable to protect first... without strength, even those loved can't be safeguarded, that's the lant of the weak."
Weichi said, "Then..."
"I haven't finished." Qilin continued, "—But, Weichi, even without those experiences, was it impossible for to inherently love power?"
Weichi seed caught off guard, stunned in place.
"I inherently had demon hunting talent, with sweat can reap results, becoming strong is joyous, overcoming originally insurmountable barriers generates a sense of achievent," Qilin remarked, "Before the frightening events, I hadn't officially practiced, so perhaps I seed a fragile and innocent little white flower, but stepping into the path of a demon hunter, it's entirely possible to develop an interest in power.
"Ask who doesn't love strength, who doesn't love becoming strong? Among those who despise violence, while so sincerely detest it, most simply lack control over violence. Once positions change, thoughts change accordingly, perhaps I was like this in my youthful days."
"This…"
Weichi showed a difficult-to-accept expression but held back from voicing denial. Because he previously agreed to fully accept Qilin's final "testant."
Seeing this, Qilin smiled slightly and continued, "The master also misunderstood ; I'm not as devoted to martial arts as him. As long as I can acquire power, I don't care whether I walk the path of martial arts or sothing else. If I possess the sa array talent as you, then studying array wouldn't be out of the question.
"I'm not saying the frightening experience ultimately was an inconsequential episode. Every ti I erged victorious from battle, I contrasted it with my past weak helpless state, feeling satisfied from the depths of my heart. So I not only chase strength but also relish the challenge of formidable enemies. Calling a battle fanatic, I can't fully deny either."
"Therefore, deep down, you still have trauma, don't you?" Weichi said, "Precisely because there's trauma..."
"No, Weichi. That's not trauma, or rather, no longer trauma," Qilin replied, "It's rely a life experience. Whether the most ordinary mortal or the mighty Impermanence, one's character is shaped by their experiences. In my heart, that experience now rely constitutes an important part of my character.
"The evidence is, I don't pursue power out of fear and avoidance but because I enjoy it. Do I really need to explain why I enjoy it?
"Of course, I also must admit, without that experience, I might never have discovered my fondness for strength, so stating it changed isn't entirely wrong.
"Moreover, for a long ti, I indeed pursued insane growth out of fear and avoidance of that experience and couldn't help but disdain those lacking courage and power because their image overlapped with my past weak helpless self.
"Yet, I later erged from the shadow myself."
"Erged?" Weichi said, unwillingly accepting, "But, I still haven't..."
Qilin looked at Weichi with gentle eyes, then spoke cruel words, "Weichi... I'm not so tragic heroine whose story waits on your actions to move forward."
Weichi seed struck by lightning.
To push the conversation forward, Little Bowl took his turn to ask, "Then... Ms. Qilin, you previously ntioned not hating the Old Fist God... why is that?"
"Since I've embarked on seeking strength to challenge formidable foes, sooner or later I'd et my end at so point. Regardless of how many tis I triumphed in the past, a single failure brings irreparable chaos, I was long prepared," Qilin said candidly, "The master is both my ntor and foster father and benefactor, and my greatest challenge target in mind. I originally intended to challenge him one day.
"Although dying in martial arts exchange is regretful, it's rely the result of insufficient skill. Holding any grudges is desecrating my spiritual self."
Her words resonated within .
"Instead, I should apologize to Master," Qilin sighed, "His heartfelt effort in nurturing stemd from his expectations, the na 'Qilin' was filled with his hopes, wishing I'd grow to surpass him and Shan Liangyi.
"I think, Master must be very disappointed, never expecting a disciple so incapable. Not only failing to et his expectations but dying so worthless."
"If you're worried about that, there's no need." I said, "Old Fist God told , you died at his hands not due to lacking skill but because you grew far beyond his expectations, he was overjoyed to an extent he accidentally got serious."
"Is that so? Master was serious with ?" Qilin said delightedly.
"Absolutely true," I replied.
Qilin showed a relieved smile and just then, her body, composed of white light, began to fade and beco transparent.
The ti for the deceased's conversation was drawing to an end.
Witnessing this, Weichi suddenly regained a sense of urgency, reaching out in panic, trying to grasp her once more, shouting loudly, "Qilin, don't go!"
Like trying to catch the moon in the water, his hands could not touch Qilin's body, futilely passing through it again and again.
"You truly are, as always... causing worry," Qilin smiled at Weichi, "Always like this. Though the misfortune befell , you seed sadder, as if held in the adult's dungeon were you. So I couldn't help but want to rescue you from it.
"Thinking about you in this way, unconsciously, I found myself no longer having nightmares."
"Qilin..." Weichi murmured, bewildered.
Qilin smiled ruefully, then raised her right hand, her fingers gently wiping away the tears from the corner of Weichi's eyes. After this motion, her increasingly transparent body was nearly gone.
Though supposedly incapable of touching anything in the real world, she could suddenly make contact with Weichi; witnessing this, Little Bowl stood stunned. Though not understanding how exactly Qilin achieved it, perhaps it wasn't necessary to delve into this phenonon. Regardless of any common sense, it becos less absolute when applied to Impermanence. Impermanence seed ant to be the exception to all kinds of logic, thus a minor exception here might well be tolerable.
"I'm alright now, so you should pep up too." Qilin said softly.
After saying this, her form disintegrated into countless floating white light particles, fading from our sight. The jade pendant serving as the Spirit Communication dium slowly descended to the floor, its glow thoroughly dimming.
Reviews
All reviews (0)