Between the suggestions of Little Bowl and Zhu Shi, I ultimately adopted Zhu Shi’s advice, and directly expressed my feelings to Mazao.
And looking at Mazao’s startled expression, my heart was indeed sowhat uneasy and wavering.
Our relationship had more than one abnormal aspect. It wasn’t just the age difference, the imbalance of power between us also made this confession seem like a strong party demanding sothing from a weaker one. Moreover, my intentions towards Mazao were not always kind. Rather, for a long period of ti, I harbored so very malicious plans against her.
Even though I had previously told her of my pursuit of her Broom Star Physique and she showed an unexpectedly delighted emotion, it didn’t an that the matter had no negative impact on the current situation. On the contrary, now that I am suddenly confessing my fondness for her and expecting her feedback, would she think that if she gave a negative response, she would face my neglect, or even possibly be abandoned by in the future?
She so desired soone who could accept her completely. So when that person shows her an emotion she did not wish for, would she give an insincere answer under pressure?
I don’t know. In fact, I wasn’t fully prepared myself, nor did I know what kind of preparations would be considered reasonable. But like the battle I was about to face, many things need to be grasped in the process of practice. Constantly thinking that I am not ready or that the perfect mont has not co will only lead to more delays until it fades away.
On the other hand, while I put pressure on myself that "I must do this," I still didn’t want to pressure Mazao.
Maybe it had been like this from a long ti ago. Seeing my friends happy around , I would relax; and seeing Mazao reveal a happy smile when enjoying good food, I would also feel joy. Thinking about it, my affection for her is not just based on her Broom Star Physique. However, that is probably not enough.
Perhaps a part of hoped that she would reject my confession. Because "clean" is almost the opposite of what I feel, and it is very possible that I would prioritize "my desire" over "her happiness." If her reply could help let go, I could then revert to being soone who only thinks about how to use her. How much easier that would be.
Mazao showed an expression of hesitation, and seeing that, I added, "I just want to express my real thoughts, and it’s not that I need you to give feedback right now. It’s sudden, you might also find it hard to sort out your emotions. If you feel difficult to respond, it’s okay to put this topic aside for now."
She shook her head and then asked, "Zhuang Cheng, do you really like ?"
"I won’t lie to you," I said.
"So, does that an... you want to do... that kind of thing with ?" she hesitated to ask.
"I can’t say I am completely without those thoughts, but I didn’t confess to you for that reason. That’s also the truth," I said.
"Why? Zhu Shi is much better compared to ," she said with low self-esteem. "Compared to Zhu Shi, I’m like a child; holding my body couldn’t be comfortable.
"I also don’t know much about modern society, I’m not interesting to talk to, and I have a rather gloomy personality. When there are other people around, I often don’t know what to say, so I just pretend I don’t exist.
"In less than a year, Zhu Shi will probably be able to use the Power of Impermanence, and she’ll be able to help you a lot in fights. Every ti you fight, I can only hide far away, even though you are going to fight desperately for my sake, I can’t help at all.
"Zhu Shi and her grandfather know many people at Luoshan Headquarters, and they can help you anchor yourself in the abnormal world later on. Besides you and Zhu Shi, I’m not familiar with anyone, and being with you can’t et more people..."
Her tone beca more and more uncertain. Strange, why did she keep comparing herself with Zhu Shi so frequently? Could it be that she wanted to be with Zhu Shi? I’m not without fantasies about Zhu Shi, but overall, I see Zhu Shi more as a friend.
And as she spoke to the end, she showed a depressed expression: "And if I... beca that kind of relationship with you, people would think of you as a pervert."
"It’s okay, I am a pervert," I said.
"Huh?" she was stunned.
"Little Bowl and Zhu Shi said this about before, I was a bit concerned at first, but now I’ve co to terms with it. If liking a girl like you makes a pervert, then that’s what I am," I said, "Mazao, I heard from Little Bowl that you saw a lot of terrible people and things in the Doomsday Era, so you hate these things deeply. Maybe you think I’m no different from those people, but I still want to ask you, are you willing to accept ?"
"I feel disgusted by those people, but regarding you..."
Mazao looked at with complex eyes for a while, then said, "Zhuang Cheng... can you hug ?"
I had hugged Mazao before and had been hugged by her from behind. Since she asked for it herself, I had no shyness or hesitation, and slowly embraced her body. And after a slight pause, she also hugged back.
"...If only it could always be like this," she uttered a sigh that seed to co from the depths of her heart.
Obviously, she had given her answer.
I felt my heart and joyful emotions explode and entangle into a complete ss. Then, slowly, bit by bit, I regained peace in the embrace.
After a long while, we separated. She seed to have pondered a lot, and looking into my eyes, she said, "Zhuang Cheng... could you give a bit more ti?"
"Ti?" I asked.
She said, "I still don’t want others to look at you with strange eyes. Although I don’t mind being looked at in a weird way..."
"I don’t mind either," I said.
"But if others look at you like that, I find it unbearable. So, can you give a bit more ti? At least, um..."
She touched her body and after thinking for a bit, she said, "At least wait until I’ve grown into a body that feels comfortable to hold like Zhu Shi’s before we beco true lovers. Is that alright?... Or do you prefer as I am now?
"My Power of Return may not accelerate my growth, but once I grow, I can switch back and forth between my pre-growth form and post-growth form. If you are not satisfied by then, if you feel the younger was more charming, I can always change back."
Although admitting that I’m a pervert, I’m not exclusively attracted to the current Mazao. As I’ve said before, I’ve also fantasized about Zhu Shi, so I believe my orientation is still within the range of a normal, healthy male. Naturally, I have no objections to Mazao’s current proposal.
"I suppose that’s fine," I said, "So, what does that make our relationship now?"
People who have not married but promise each other lifeti commitnt are considered to be engaged. What about the commitnt before a formal relationship?
"I don’t know either," Mazao replied, "But, I am already yours."
With that, she seed to find these words embarrassing, hugged again, and buried her reddening cheeks into my chest.
-
Following Zhu Shi’s advice was indeed correct. Circumlocutory tactics might suit ordinary situations, but not for . A straightforward approach is what I should take on.
I confessed my feelings to Mazao, and she accepted them. As a pre-battle gift, there’s nothing better.
Im about to set off now. Seeing turn to leave, Mazao couldn’t hide her concern. But she should know that she can’t persuade . Even if this ti, my departure ans facing more losses than wins, especially in her eyes as this battle is fought for her, and she can’t join the fight, it would inevitably tornt her more.
Closing her eyes, Mazao took a deep breath and then exhaled. When she opened them again, her expression was resolute.
"――Zhuang Cheng, you must win," she said.
For , the best encouragent is that she can say such a blessing to .
I felt a trendous force injected into my heart, and the shadow of Ming Zhuo instantly dissipated. Although I still couldn’t figure out how to defeat Ming Zhuo, I felt no possibility of defeat.
Those who don’t know well think that I challenge Ming Zhuo because I have so chance of winning; those who know well believe that I stood no chance from the beginning. Even I myself can’t imagine a way to victory.
If I really win, it will surely surprise many people.
So I’ll try to win this ti.
I bid farewell to Mazao and arrived at the hotel lobby on the first floor. Lu Chan was waiting for there. Our gazes t, and, in tacit understanding, he turned and led out the door.
Under his experienced guidance, we quickly left the hotel and moved towards the outermost areas of Luoshan Headquarters. The scenery around us gradually beca deserted, and after so ti, Lu Chan brought to the front of a massive building.
He looked at the building with a nostalgic gaze, then turned to , "This is where Ming Zhuo resides, he’s probably in the deepest part of this building right now."
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