My gaze landed upon an email concerning my lacking attendance.
It was from before I even got transported on Thursday morning, aning it had gone unanswered for the better half of a week by now.
Feeling like I had abruptly been taken hostage, my body and mind froze, only managing to let out a silent sigh... No, I think I genuinely would have rather been taken hostage at this mont.
'What do I do? Should I ssage them...?'
I deliberated for a while, feeling like if I didn't co up with so sort of solution right now, I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else for a long ti.
Many conflicting thoughts raced through my mind at this mont.
'If I email them then they're gonna email back, initiating a conversation flow, and that's a real pain in the ass to deal with... I don't even know how to begin to explain why my attendance is bad in the first place.'
As I brainstord a way out of the troubleso situation, I went through every possibility.
'But it's not like I can just ignore it, either, or they'll start harassing even more, maybe even contact my family―and that's sothing I have to avoid at all costs.'
The stress continued to build in my mind, and I could physically feel my blood pressure rising.
'If I don't want to go, can't I just not go? Why is such a minor thing so damn complicated? It's not like they're losing out on my money if I don't go, anyway...'
The active deterioration of my ntal state because of sothing that shouldn't have even been a problem was a fact I was lucid about, but that didn't an I was in the right fra of mind to do anything about it.
'Goddamn... Do I really have to get so worked up over sothing like this?'
Eventually, it beca so bad I was getting desperate.
'If only--'
[Enki?]
All of a sudden, a clear voice pierced through my cluttered headspace.
With all else silenced, only the Librarian's words resounded.
"What?"
[I think it's best to put that matter aside for now.]
I shook my head.
"No. It's better to get it out of the way now. That way I won't have to think about it again."
[Um, however, do you not have other matters to deal with? Although I may not understand that which troubles you, if there stands an enemy before you who paralyses you when you confront them, the path to victory is most often not a straightforward charge ahead――Am I incorrect?]
Snorting like a bull, my brows furrowed and I roughly scratched the back of my head.
"I get what you're saying but it's not like tha--"
[Let us ease your mind and finish the minor matters first. Thereafter, we can deal with the larger issues steadily and calmly, with composure! Where was the coolness you demonstrated when plotting to eliminate the Hero?]
"..."
Sitting on my bed in silence for a while, I echoed what she said internally, replaying it a number of tis.
'That was different...'
From feeling overwheld, even though those stress-inducing issues still occupied a portion of the space in my mind, its severity and magnitude had all drastically lessened.
For once, I felt like I could think about it with clarity, and I realised.
All this supernatural stuff was probably better for my ntal than for any other reason.
Because none of it made any sense, because it's so fantastical, it dragged out of reality itself. After killing the Hero and clearing the Contract, I returned. Not just to the real world, but to reality itself.
The world of my situation before the Library, before this Protagonist-murdering absurdity. Even if only subconsciously, it must have brought back to that previous state, subrging in a sea of anxiety that was more like quicksand as a result.
"Haaaah..."
I heaved such a heavy sigh and rubbed my eyes.
'Killing soone before getting so stressed over sothing so small like this... What the hell is even going on, my god...'
Honestly, it was pitiful. Still, it was thanks to the Librarian pulling out of that unrelenting quagmire that I could escape, even if only temporarily, and reflect on it from an objective viewpoint.
Although it was humiliating to even have that happen in the first place.
"...Thanks."
I heard no response from her, but I didn't doubt the Librarian had received my gratitude. It was just a feeling, but I was confident.
'Anyway...'
It might not be the correct decision, but I didn't care anymore. Swiping that troubling email away, postponing it for now, I turned my attention to so lighter matters.
First on the list was...
[Ina (4 unread ssages)]
'Christ. What's all this, then?'
Opening up the text ssaging app, I braced myself.
[Ina: Hey we're wondering when u gonna be back ho, do u have any idea :o?]
[Ina: Since Christmas is not far away now and we need to know soon]
[Ina: Ik ur prolly busy with whatever but if ur coming can u also bring back so wine? :) (I like white) Tysmmm~~~~]
[Ina: Btw if you ignore this ti I'll let Ella know ur bullying :l luv]
"Christmas...?"
Subconsciously, I muttered the word I didn't expect to see. To be honest, because of all the Library stuff I'd completely forgotten, but she was right in that it's almost that ti of year.
In fact, being November, it was only one month away.
But, about the request she made... or rather, the demand. My sister, Inanna Valentine―She turned 25 this year, yet she wanted , her 19-year-old brother, to buy her wine?
"Ha. Get real."
It made laugh.
'Are you kidding ? No way. That shit's expensive, you know? Unless you want sothing cheap?'
Also, she had a job and I didn't... Well, not one that would pay real money. So what the hell was she coming to for?
In the first place, if I'm not coming ho for Christmas, then there's no need for to buy anything, right?
For , Christmas Break officially started a week before Christmas Day, on the weekend starting the 14th of December, and it lasted for five weeks until mid-late January. It was that long of a period only because I didn't have any exams.
Originally, I indeed intended to spend the entirety of that period at ho.
But now...
'This first Contract took two... or well, three-and-a-half days to complete. If I have 5 whole weeks, how many Protagonists can I kill?'
Five weeks was a long ti. Now that I actually had sothing I could be productive with, I'd be a complete moron if I chose to laze around instead.
'Especially if it ans I have the chance to beco a Challenger...'
At that transient thought, a vision of sothing I long-desired flashed in my mind. There was only one thing for to say.
'Mmm... Actually, make it two.'
[: Not coming ho for Christmas]
[: Take your wine and drown]
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