October 5, 2020
Alicia let out a sharp breath.
The mont she heard that Mikael had been spending ti with Cabelenus, it felt as though her world was crumbling. Her lungs tightened with panic, and she had run without thinking.
No matter how quiet Cabelenus remained, she could never be sure when his mind might change.
"No."
How far had she run? Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice. Alicia nearly burst into view but froze at what ca next.
"I am not your father."
A hushed voice. Her heart plumted.
She gripped a nearby tree, biting her lip hard.
"Really?"
"Yes."
Cabelenus turned away from Mikael’s gaze.
Alicia swallowed dryly. The distance between them was considerable, but she could still see the desperate hope lingering in Mikael’s eyes.
"Then… do you even know who my father is?"
"I don’t."
"I figured! Honestly, you’re way too an to be my dad. My real dad must be way cooler and kinder than you!"
Mikael bead, showing all his teeth.
But Alicia’s heart ached.
It felt like it was being torn into a thousand, ten thousand pieces.
"You’d better hope so. If he turns out to be a useless fool…"
Cabelenus trailed off and turned his head abruptly.
Alicia quickly ducked behind the tree.
"What is it?"
"…Nothing."
Even as he dismissed it, Cabelenus’s gaze remained fixed on the sa spot.
Alicia clenched her hands into fists and shut her eyes.
She had thought this was impossible.
Yet, from a distance, the two of them together looked right.
They looked like they belonged together.
And that… made it even harder to breathe.
***
"Share with Chris."
"This much?"
Mikael’s eyes widened at the heavy lunchbox in his arms.
Alicia ruffled his hair with a smile.
"You need to eat well if you want to grow into a great man."
"Hmm… that’s true."
Mikael nodded, then stole a glance out the window.
The sun was already high in the sky.
Cabelenus was probably outside, too.
"Mikael."
"Yeah, Mom?"
"Do you really miss your father?"
"No! Of course not! I don’t need a dad! As long as I have you, I’m fine!"
Mikael shook his head violently.
Alicia simply smiled gently at him.
"It’s okay to miss him."
"But he’s a bad person."
"…Why do you think that?"
"Because he left you alone. That’s the worst thing anyone could do. That’s why I don’t need a dad."
Alicia’s eyes fell on the pendant around Mikael’s neck.
"But he left you sothing, didn’t he?"
She reached out and grasped the pendant lightly.
Mikael had worn it like a talisman ever since he first learned to walk. Ti had left its marks on the necklace.
"…Do you miss him, Mom?"
"I did. Always."
Enough to make charms for Cabelenus year after year, even knowing they would never reach him.
Alicia swallowed the truth and simply smiled.
"Then he really is a bad person. He kept you waiting all the ti."
"……."
"Mom. I’m really okay."
Mikael struggled to wrap his short arms around Alicia in a hug.
She held him close, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"…Mikael, should we go on a trip?"
"A trip?"
"Rember? You said you wanted to see the ocean from that book you read. Let’s go."
"Really?"
"Of course."
"Wow! Mom, you’re the best! Let’s go! I really want to!"
Mikael wriggled excitedly in her arms.
Alicia smiled bitterly.
Cabelenus was far more lenient with Mikael than she had expected.
Maybe he wasn’t used to it yet, but given ti, he could beco a good father.
But Cabelenus was the master of Schwarhan.
And Schwarhan was not a place Mikael could return to.
The creatures lurking there—monsters with those sa golden eyes gleaming in the snow—ensured that.
Still… just for a mont… Just for a little while…
Alicia hugged her child tightly and shut her eyes.
If there really was so bond between father and son, even a little, she wanted Mikael to feel it.
***
"Your mom made this?"
"Yep! Looks good, doesn’t it? I’m giving this to you because I’m feeling really generous today!"
Mikael boasted as he held out a sandwich.
But Cabelenus didn’t take it.
"…Did your mother say anything else?"
"Huh? Like what?"
"That’s…"
Cabelenus hesitated.
He knew their eyes had t.
There was no way he could have missed Alicia’s presence.
So why is she pretending otherwise?
His brows furrowed deeply.
If Alicia had caught him spending ti with Mikael, she would have done sothing about it.
"Whatever, just take it already! My arm’s about to fall off!"
"……."
"Hey."
Mikael’s lips pushed into a pout.
If Alicia had interfered, Mikael wouldn’t be acting so carefree.
"Are you going to eat it or not?"
"Fine."
Before Mikael could pull his hand away, Cabelenus grabbed the sandwich.
It wasn’t anything extravagant—just neatly stacked ingredients, cut cleanly in half.
But it did look good.
"Tastes good, right?"
"Yeah."
"That’s all?"
"What else do you want to say?"
Cabelenus grabbed another sandwich and took a bite.
"There are better ways to describe food than just ‘good’!"
"It’s just a sandwich."
"Then don’t eat it! You don’t deserve to eat my mom’s food!"
Mikael snapped.
"You’ve got more than enough to share."
"Even if I do, there are other people I could give it to! It was supposed to be for Chris, but I gave it to you instead…"
Mikael grumbled, stuffing a sandwich into his own mouth.
The salty ham, creamy cheese, and tangy tomato—it was perfect.
But he had to settle for a plain, boring response?
Unacceptable.
"Chris. That was your friend, right?"
"Don’t even think about talking to him! He gets scared just hearing about you!"
"Coward."
Cabelenus clicked his tongue as he picked up another piece.
"He’s just a kid."
Mikael huffed and chewed furiously, determined not to lose out on the sandwiches.
If he wasn’t careful, that man would eat all of them.
These portions are a bit large for kids…
Cabelenus glanced at the remaining sandwiches, the corner of his lips quirking up slightly.
It was just a sandwich.
But for so reason, his heart was racing.
It felt… aningful.
"…Hey, kid."
"It’s Mikael."
"Does your na really matter that much?"
"Of course! That’s what nas are for!"
"…Fine. Mikael."
Cabelenus let out a short sigh.
The boy was too small to be a real challenge, but now wasn’t the ti to provoke him.
"Earlier, you said you wanted to know about your father."
"Well, I'm still curious."
With crumbs on his cheek, Mikael nodded.
"Yeah?"
"I want to kick my dad the mont I see him. That’s one of the reasons I’m training with you. But wait—why are you asking?"
"If he wasn’t your biological father—"
"I still wouldn’t want it to be you."
"……."
"You’re an."
Mikael stuck out his tongue.
"What did you think I was going to say?"
Cabelenus turned his head slightly.
"I’ve already t plenty of people who wanted to be my dad."
"…That many?"
Cabelenus’s voice dipped noticeably, but Mikael simply grabbed the last sandwich without hesitation.
"Of course. Do you know how pretty my mom is?"
"……."
"Anyway, don’t get any ideas. I don’t want you to be my dad."
He had almost thought it wouldn’t be so bad.
But that was a thought he would never say out loud.
Mikael huffed and continued chewing his sandwich.
"I already asked if you were my real father."
"I told you I’m not. That should be the end of it."
"End of it?"
"You can’t choose your real father, but you can choose a stepfather."
"……."
What goes on inside that tiny head of his?
Cabelenus stared at the boy, half-exasperated.
"Honestly, I’d rather have Uncle Jas as my dad than you."
"Jas? That painter?"
"Oh? You know my uncle?"
"Probably."
"Either you do or you don’t. What’s with the ‘probably’?"
"……."
"Ugh, there you go again, refusing to answer! This is why I don’t like you."
Mikael scrunched up his nose.
"So this uncle of yours answers all your questions, huh?"
"Uncle Jas is an angel."
"An angel?"
"He’s busy, so he doesn’t visit often, but every ti he cos, he brings tons of presents."
He should be visiting again soon.
Mikael propped his chin on his hands, smiling in anticipation.
Just thinking about what Jas might bring this ti already made him happy.
"Anyone can do that."
"But you didn’t bring anything."
"……."
"Co on, admit it. The adults said you were rich, but that’s not true, is it?"
Mikael gave him a pitiful look, and Cabelenus’s eyes twitched.
He hadn’t planned to co here. His priority had been finding Alicia—there had been no ti to bring anything.
He had traveled light, with only the bare minimum.
If he had wanted to bring gifts, he could have brought more than Mikael could ever dream of.
"What do you want? I’ll give you anything."
"Anything?"
"As long as it’s not dangerous."
"Liar."
"Why would I lie about that?"
"Then buy a house. Bigger than Chris’s."
Mikael raised his arms dramatically, thinking of Maren’s sneers about how their ho was too small.
He didn’t actually believe Cabelenus would do it—he just wanted to shut him up.
But the answer he got was shockingly calm.
"How many do you want?"
"Don’t joke around."
"I’m not joking."
"Yeah, right. It’s not like you have a castle or anything."
"I do. It’s a bit old, but it’s still in decent shape."
Cabelenus leaned on his chin, thinking of Schwarhan Castle.
It wasn’t as large as the imperial palace, but it was the second-largest fortress in the empire.
"Why do you keep lying?"
"I’m not."
"Then do you have one of those huge dogs too?"
"Yes."
The imdiate answer made Mikael even more suspicious.
He hesitated, then scowled.
"Are you so kind of emperor or sothing?"
"Not an emperor. A duke."
"What’s a duke? Is it high-ranking?"
"Right below the emperor."
"…Yeah, right. You’re lying again."
Mikael slumped in disappointnt.
He had actually started to believe the rumors that Cabelenus was rich.
But, as expected, adults were full of nonsense.
"Whatever. I’m not spending ti with you for money anyway."
"……."
"So, what are we doing today? More stick-swinging?"
Mikael stood up and dusted the leaves off his pants.
"No. You’re going to run back and forth here until I return."
"Until you co back? What are you doing?"
"Hunting."
"Are you catching rabbits?"
Mikael’s eyes sparkled.
"No. Wild boar."
"Wild boar?"
"One tore up the fields last night. It needs to be dealt with."
"You’re going alone? What about the others?"
"It’s just a boar. Why would I need help?"
Cabelenus rolled his shoulders.
"But Millen’s husband got attacked by a boar once. He was bedridden for months."
"And?"
"Mom says doing sothing when you can is bravery, but doing sothing when you can’t is just reckless."
"That’s a good lesson. Keep it in mind, and don’t do anything stupid."
"No, I was talking about you!"
Mikael had wanted to avoid saying he was worried, but Cabelenus was impossible.
Pouting, he stood on his toes.
"If you get hurt over a boar, you don’t deserve to be called the ‘Master of Schwarhan.’"
"Whether I’m the master or not, it’s still dangerous!"
"You’re worrying for nothing."
"Who says I’m worried about you—!"
Mikael stopped mid-shout and dropped his gaze.
As annoying as Cabelenus was, he didn’t want to see him get hurt.
After fidgeting with the pendant around his neck for a long mont, Mikael finally made up his mind and looked up.
"If you’re really going, take this with you."
"What are you doing?"
"It’s a charm my mom made. I’m lending it to you."
"……."
"I’m not giving it to you. Just borrowing it. For a little while. A very short while."
Mikael huffed as if doing Cabelenus a great favor.
If you get hurt, who’s going to train ?
He held out the pendant.
Cabelenus took it, frowning slightly.
The pendant was a small locket—one that twisted slightly to open.
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