July 9, 2020
"Alicia."
"She is sleeping now."
"What about her als?"
"She only had so lemon water and a bit of fruit."
"She should be given more fruit."
Cabelenus muttered in a low voice. He should have been relieved that she was at least eating sothing, yet the thought itself was frustrating. Every ti he saw Alicia growing thinner, a rage he could not direct at anyone flared within him.
"We have been ensuring there is no shortage of fruit. However…"
Lady Morco hesitated as she carefully observed Cabelenus’s expression. He imdiately furrowed his brows at the concern etched on her face.
"What is it?"
"The young lady wished to have her late mother’s soup, so I looked into the ingredients, but…"
"But?"
Cabelenus cut in before she could finish. At this point, Alicia’s mother’s soup was the only thing that held any hope.
"I have not found all the ingredients yet. However…"
"What is it? If there is an issue with obtaining the ingredients—"
"Most of the ingredients in the soup were poisonous plants."
"What?"
A sharp breath escaped through Cabelenus’s clenched teeth. It felt as though a hamr had struck the back of his head.
"There is a possibility that, in her hunger, she unknowingly used poisonous plants. However, I find that unlikely."
"Why?"
Cabelenus’s voice held an uncharacteristic edge of urgency. He did not want to acknowledge the thought forming in his mind.
"The soup contained the root of the pataran plant, a well-known poison, and another ingredient—bex flowers—which only grow on cliffs and are notoriously difficult to find. These are not common plants one would accidentally use."
"Do you understand what you’re implying?"
"Yes, I do. That is why I am telling Your Highness and not the young lady."
Lady Morco exhaled deeply. Alicia’s body and mind were both fragile right now. If she learned that her mother had tried to poison her, she would break completely.
"Could it not have been a mistake? Many plants look alike."
"Pataran and bex are not plants that can be easily mistaken for others. In fact, many do not even know of the existence of bex flowers. To recognize the blooming season ans one must be well-versed in plants."
Lady Morco forced a bitter smile. She had seen how happy Alicia was when she spoke of her mother, which only made the truth more painful.
"Do not tell Alicia about this."
"I was thinking the sa. Right now, what the young lady needs most is psychological stability. That is why I was considering restarting her painting lessons."
"Painting lessons?"
A single na imdiately ca to Cabelenus’s mind. He exhaled sharply at the thought of the young painter who had kept appearing in his mind despite his efforts to forget.
"Since her condition is largely psychological, engaging in sothing she enjoys may be beneficial."
"But…"
"Of course, the lessons will not be strenuous. I will personally ensure she is not overexerting herself."
"…Will it help?"
Cabelenus still found the painter’s presence botherso, but Alicia’s recovery took priority. If it could help, he had no reason to refuse.
"I cannot say for certain, but we must try everything we can."
"……."
"The young lady has always wanted to continue painting."
Your Highness’s portrait, most of all. Lady Morco left those words unsaid, offering only a faint smile.
If nothing else, at least Alicia had Cabelenus now, even if she no longer had her mother.
***
"It has been a long ti."
"……."
"What’s wrong?"
"It’s just… you’ve lost a lot of weight since I last saw you."
Jas struggled to maintain a neutral tone, but his voice still trembled. He frowned as he took in Alicia’s frail figure. He did not know what had happened to her, but the mont he saw her, his chest tightened painfully.
"I was unwell for a while."
"What was wrong? Are you better now?"
"I’m fine."
She did not look fine at all, yet she said it so casually. Jas bit his lower lip hard, suppressing the urge to say sothing reckless.
"I really am fine. I’m recovering bit by bit."
She still could not eat most foods, but thanks to everyone’s care, the nausea was slowly improving.
Even if I never got to taste my mother’s soup…
She had tried to hide it, but she could not deny the disappointnt. She still could not let go of that one lingering mory.
"May I ask what kind of illness it was?"
"It wasn’t really an illness. The physician said it was psychological."
"Psychological?"
"He said I just need to relax, so I resud painting lessons. Learning from Nixon always helps feel at ease."
"……."
Alicia did not say much, but it was enough.
Jas clenched his jaw. No matter how much Cabelenus tried to control the flow of information, all of Schwarhan already knew about his impending engagent.
Damn it.
Jas gritted his teeth, guilt gnawing at him. He had not been there when she needed soone most. That fact alone made his heart ache.
"My lady."
"Yes, Nixon?"
Alicia remained calm, seemingly unaffected. But that only made Jas feel worse.
Trapped like a caged bird, unable to even speak certain nas freely, knowing full well that the man keeping her here was preparing to marry another woman—she endured it all with quiet resignation.
Just like his sister had, before her tragic end.
"Are you truly okay?"
"I truly am. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine soon."
A gentle smile spread across Alicia’s lips.
Even as her symptoms persisted, even as uncertainty lood over her, she did not feel the sa fear as before.
This ti, she was not entirely alone.
She knew how much everyone around her was trying for her sake.
And even if she did not understand this strange affliction, she was no longer as afraid.
"My lady…"
"Don’t look at like that. I really am okay."
Alicia smiled again, as if to prove a point, but to Jas, it only looked sorrowful. His late sister had worn the sa expression before her death—smiling, pretending she was fine, desperately trying to believe in the man she loved, despite the looming tragedy.
"If I weren’t fine, I wouldn’t have filled up the sketchbook you gave ."
"You’ve already filled it?"
"I had a lot of ti on my hands, that’s all."
Alicia chuckled awkwardly. She had barely eaten, and her body was weak, but drawing had never been a problem. In fact, focusing on it helped ease the nausea, if only for a little while. She had no choice but to pick up the pen whenever she had the chance.
"…It’s His Highness."
The sketchbook contained landscapes, Lady Morco, and portraits of the maids, but the majority of the pages were filled with drawings of Cabelenus.
"I told you before, I wanted to paint His Highness’s portrait. So I kept practicing."
Alicia fidgeted with her fingers. She thought her skills had improved, and she was satisfied when sketching others. Yet, for so reason, she was never content when drawing Cabelenus. If she captured his front view, she wanted to sketch his profile. If she painted his blank expression, she felt compelled to depict him smiling. Unlike rely observing him in passing, sketching forced her to focus on his every detail—his face, expressions, even his movents. And the more she studied him, the more she wanted to capture.
"What do you think? Is it okay?"
"Yes, you’ve done a wonderful job."
Jas smiled, but he could not tear his gaze away from the sketchbook. Drawings carried emotions within them. Even without asking, it was clear how Alicia felt about Cabelenus, and that terrified him.
"I think, at this point, you should go beyond sketches and start painting properly."
"Really?"
"If you’re willing, why not try painting on canvas instead of stopping at sketches?"
"I’m not sure if I’m good enough for that yet. Will it be okay?"
"One improves by completing a work. Just consider it practice for coloring, and paint freely."
Alicia hesitated for a mont before nodding.
"Alright, I’ll try. But you’ll have to help a lot, Nixon. Understood?"
"Of course. Lady Morco, could I trouble you to prepare the necessary materials?"
Lady Morco nodded silently in response. Watching her move away, Jas quickly turned back to Alicia, lowering his voice.
"My lady."
"What? Do you have sothing to say to ?"
"No matter what happens, I will always be on your side."
"…What?"
Alicia’s eyes widened at the unexpected vow. But Jas did not stop. There was not much ti before Cabelenus’s watchers would notice their conversation.
"If you ever decide to give up on everything, I can help you."
"What are you talking about? Why would I give up—"
"I know I have no right to say this. But I do not want you to end up like my sister."
"Ah…"
Alicia’s lips parted slightly. She understood now—Jas was misunderstanding her relationship with Cabelenus.
"I think I know why you’re saying this, Nixon. But my relationship with His Highness is not what you think it is."
"Do you know what I imagined, then?"
"I may not know the details, but I’m not ignorant of what the flower symbolizes."
"……"
"I know you an well. That’s why I’m not offended. I understand that you’re saying this for my sake."
Jas’s lips trembled. Why does she keep smiling? Even after hearing sothing that should have upset her, Alicia remained composed.
"But I am not His Highness’s mistress."
Her voice was unwavering, her gaze firm.
"My lady."
"I trust His Highness. That’s why I stay by his side, and I will continue to do so."
"…You will be unhappy."
"No, I won’t. I am happy where I am now."
Before, she might have wavered. But not anymore.
Alicia was certain.
"Are you saying you’re fine living as his shadow?"
"I am not a shadow."
She shook her head resolutely.
Cabelenus had promised to take her as his wife.
There was no reason to doubt him.
"His Highness will marry the Princess of Christi Kingdom."
"You must be mistaken. His Highness—"
"Do you truly not know?"
Jas’s face darkened visibly.
"Not know what?"
Alicia blinked in confusion. Jas’s expression twisted further.
"It’s obvious…"
"My lady, I’ve brought the materials you requested."
"……."
"……."
"Is sothing wrong? Did sothing happen?"
Lady Morco, carrying the art supplies, tilted her head curiously.
Alicia quickly took a deep breath and shook her head.
"No, nothing’s wrong."
"If you’re feeling unwell—"
"Of course not. Actually, could you set up the canvas? I’d like to start painting right away."
Lady Morco was perceptive, but her concern remained focused on Alicia’s health. She seed to suspect nothing else.
Her well-practiced smile, the one Lady Morco had taught her, was now effective enough to fool even her.
Alicia found that reassuring and reached for her pen as if nothing had happened.
But no matter how hard she tried to focus, she could not shake the unease caused by what Jas had left unsaid.
The Princess of Christi Kingdom… Could it be the youngest princess?
Alicia’s eyelashes trembled, fluttering like petals caught in the wind.
She had never been there herself, but she had heard of Christi Kingdom before. Her half-sisters often spoke of the youngest princess, scoffing that her reputation was rely exaggerated. They claid that if Neuschwein had been stronger than Christi, the title of the continent’s greatest beauty would have belonged to them instead.
As her thoughts reached that point, Alicia found she could no longer draw.
She did not doubt Cabelenus.
The man she had co to know was not soone who would deceive her just to win her over.
Jas must have misunderstood sothing.
And yet, no matter how much she reassured herself, she could not suppress the twisting sensation in her stomach.
Cabelenus belongs to .
No matter the reason, the re idea of soone else claiming what was hers was unbearable.
It was jealousy—blatant and undeniable.
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