I stared at the figure standing at my door, my heart still contending in my chest. The woman before wasn’t a stranger, not exactly. But the tis had put distance between us, made her face strange, even though I knew her better than anyone else.
It was Rhoda. My mother.
Her hair, previously dark and full, was now untidy and graying. Her face, lined with age and the risk of a life spent chasing sothing that never sounded to fill the emptiness, looked weathered and drained.
I froze.
Anger ran through , and I gripped the doorfra tighter as if I might fall if I didn’t.
" What do you want? " The words ca out flat, detached,
She blinked, easily unrehearsed for my lack of warmth. Rhoda’s eyes — blank and untrustworthy — darted to the side, her fingers shuddering as if reaching for sothing only she could see.
Her clothes hung off her slender fra in a way that made want to turn away
I wanted to slam the door in her face, to let her disappear again like she always did when everything got hard, but I knew I couldn’t.
" I heard about Damon, " she said, her voice wavering, soft, and nearly repentant. " I wanted to see you. To see if you’d co back, you know, for him. "
I wanted to roll my eyes but said nothing.
" Damon? " I repeated, nearly laughing. " You’ve got ta be kidding . After all this ti, now you want to talk about him? "
Rhoda shifted from foot to foot and seed to be uncomfortable with what I had said.
" I know I’ve been. I haven’t been good to you, " she muttered, her voice faltering. " I know I’ve ssed up. But this. This is important. Damon’s sick. He needs you, Zarah. "
I flinched at the thought of his illness, the weight of the word sick striking harder than I expected.
The idea of him being vulnerable — being sick — felt wrong. Like the world was turning upside down.
But Rhoda’s face was serious, her eyes fixed on , and sothing inside stirred.
" Zarah, please, " Rhoda continued, her voice pulsing slightly. " I know I’m the last person you want to see right now, but. You don’t understand. He’s not going to make it unless you’re there. He needs you. Elliot’s father. He needs you. "
Elliot’s father. The words hit like a brick. The idea that Damon might be dying — or worse, that he wanted there for it was sothing I couldn’t wrap my head around.
Of all the people — telling that Damon needed , everything was falling apart.
I couldn’t let him know about this. Not like this. Not before I had ti to think. Not before I had ti to feel the weight of what Rhoda was asking.
" Keep your voice down, " I said, my voice low, slightly a whisper. " I don’t want Elliot to hear about this. " The last thing I wanted was for him to pick up on the conversation, to sense sothing was wrong.
Rhoda blinked, realizing the heaviness of my words. She took a deep breath, easily trying to keep her feelings in check.
" I’m sorry, " she muttered. " I shouldn’t have brought it up like this. But. It’s important, Zarah. You need to understand. Damon’s not the man he was. He’s not the sa. And he won’t be there much longer if things keep going like this. "
But my mother — Rhoda — standing there, so frail, so hopeless, sounded like a mory of everything I had tried to forget. Of the way she had always put herself first, of the way she had abandoned in ways far worse than Damon ever could. She was here now but for all the wrong reasons.
" I don’t know what you want from , Mother, " I said, my voice tight. " I’ve moved on. I’ve built a life then with Elliot. I’m not going back to that. "
" I’m not asking you to go back, " Rhoda said, her voice breaking slightly. " I’m just asking you to consider it. For him. For Elliot . "
I felt a flicker of sothing — guilt? Pity? I wasn’t sure. But I couldn’t let myself feel anything for her. Not after everything.
" Why now? " I asked, my voice slightly above a whisper. " Why co to now, of all tis? "
She looked down, her face crumpling with the weight of what she was asking . " Because I don’t know." She suddenly stopped."I’m so sorry."
Did she know how those words made Mr feel?
Disappearing from my life just to tell about Damon like it was my fault he was sick.
Did she think that I was a dummy and had no control over my life and emotions?
Suddenly appeared into my life to say ’I’m sorry ’ like it was a miracle she was here like it was all I needed and ever asked for.
The worst part of all this nonsense was that she didn’t even ask about my son, her grandson.
Appearing into my life like it was the best decision she ever made and she would disappear and appear if she so wished.
Hell.
I wanted to yell at her.
Why was she so concerned about Damon? I think that there must be sothing she wasn’t saying, sothing she was hiding but one thing was certain, I wouldn’t let her decide and dictate to what to do with my life. She won’t destroy the peace I had built for and Elliot.
The air felt thick.
But one thing was clear — I wasn’t ready to let Damon back Not yet. Not while Elliot was still so young. Not while I was still trying to figure out how to cover him from all of this.
" I’ll think about it, " I said, my voice steady despite the storm inside .
I didn’t close the door, not yet. But I wanted to, more than anything. I wanted to shut her out again, to slam the door in her face and pretend like nothing had changed.
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