Agreeing to Create Bad Games, What the Hell Is ‘Titanfall’? Chapter 404: Newton's Coffin Lid Can't Hold Down Anymore!

Incredible.

Absolutely unprecedented incredible! Unprecedented throughout history incredible! Heaven-defying incredible!

Its incredible nature lies in making you emit unbelievable exclamations, exclaiming in astonishnt that this is actually a ga carrying The Lord of the Rings IP released at this year's Cologne Gascom!

At this very mont!

Almost all dia outlets that once gave this ga "worth anticipating" evaluations have all gone dumbfounded!

They've even started doubting their own decade-long professional experience and judgnt!

The Lord of the Rings IP, five hundred million dollar budget!

You might say its quality doesn't match the developnt cost at all, like Night Owl Island with frequent bugs?

Not exactly!

Because from industrial quality perspective, whether it's the in-ga lighting and shadow presentation or the dark, cramped, layered mountains, the visual expression and realism are both extrely high!

"In other words!"

SLGars deputy editor-in-chief Laiye grabbed his already sparse hair in disbelief, his eyes filled with question marks:

"Whether it's that inexplicable automatic snapping and modeling gaps, or Gollum openly 'assassinating' without triggering alarms design, they're all intentionally done by CloudPower!"

"This damn thing is actually their ga's feature! Feature?!"

"What the hell-- ?"

"Are they..."

"...a bunch of fucking damn schizophrenic patients? Otherwise how could they create such a bizarre protagonist?"

Similarly, at this mont, Hummingbird Gas editor Hank was also emitting sharp screams:

"I sensed sothing was off from the mont they chose Gollum as the protagonist,"

"Although Gollum as a character running through The Lord of Rings has high recognition,"

"But hasn't this guy always existed as the most despicable, darkest, most disgusting character in The Lord of the Rings?!"

"I actually fucking thought they would differentiate Gollum and Sméagol's two personalities like Fight Club, having them confront each other, showing Gollum's remaining conscience struggling with dark despicableness,"

"But! Result!"

"Hooo—ly shit! What kind of dogshit did I just experience?"

"How can Konik understand that players want to experience the inner struggle and conflict of split personality,"

"Instead of fucking! Imrsive! Roleplaying! As! An! Annoying! aningless! Paranoid! Weird!"

"Psy! Cho! Path!"

"This is simply—"

"Cri! Fucking cri! I report that damn Konik for subjecting to electronic private punishnt!"

Bonfire Gas editor-in-chief Ergoujun roared continuously in the livestream chat:

"Early 2000s platform jumping design, if Sekiro knew it was being compared to this thing, it would give Konik's mom a death blow!"

"Idiot! Ultimate big idiot!"

"That design of forever crawling on the ground only looking up at the sky perfectly resembles Konik's state when being Vivendi's dog!"

"That dogshit edge snapping judgnt is like Konik's Schrödinger's mom constantly existing in life-death superposition state!"

"Those completely unmarked, seemingly right before your eyes yet impossible to find climbing points make feel like Konik personally packed his mom's ashes into a milk powder can and forced players to sift his mom's ashes out from the milk powder!"

"If Arican five-star general MacArthur were still alive, he would definitely comnt—"

"Give him The Lord of the Rings, he'll return you a schizophrenic Gollum,"

"Give him five hundred million budget, he'll return you a flying piece of shit,"

In the livestream chat, Pew who didn't attend Cologne Gascom this ti was doing his bit playing MacArthur, holding a pipe saying:

"I thought my lie about bringing soldiers ho before Christmas was already ridiculous enough,"

"I never expected the president of today's world's largest comprehensive ga company would be even more impressive,"

"Compared to this, Golden Wind's SamGu has to step back,"

"Because Konik is the real psychopath, rather than saying Gollum is about the conflict between Sméagol and Gollum's two personalities, it's more like giving players a multiple choice question—"

"There are two chairs before you, one has a piece of shit, the other has a big dick, you must sit on one chair and eat what's on the other chair,"

"He's the genius of torture, inventor of electronic punishnt, the real six-star general!"

...

Exploded!

Good news: The Lord of the Rings: Gollum's reputation exploded!

Bad news: The Lord of the Rings: Gollum's reputation exploded!

This Konik "personally directed" globally famous IP derivative 3S-level work, relying on its overwhelming marketing, along with monotonous platform jumping design, completely unpolished detail optimization, bizarre protagonist design, idiotic confused AI logic, plus those intentionally designed jump judgnts and ten-hour official rated gaplay duration!

Within just half an hour of Cologne Gascom opening, it climbed to the absolute top of blacklists on various dia outlets' ga red-black charts!

Initial Experience Score 1/10! SNG Editor-in-Chief Simon Directly States '1 Point is Just the Scoring Limit, Not Gollum's Limit'

Furious Roasting! Twitch Famous Ga Strear Pew's Sharp Review of Gollum!

Dong Shi Imitates? What Kind of Work Did Konik Who Intended to Imitate Sam's Personal Ga Direction Actually Bring?

I Thought Night Owl Island Was Already Invincible! Whose General is This Gollum?

Astonishing! Highly Anticipated 'The Lord of the Rings: Gollum' Scores Generally Don't Exceed 2/10!

(...)

Complete uproar!

Actually!

If The Lord of the Rings: Gollum hadn't obtained such famous IP authorization, didn't have overwhelming marketing, didn't have near-unanimous "worth anticipating" evaluations from all dia.

No matter how bad it was, it wouldn't suffer such massive siege.

All the marketing ntioned above, it achieved them all, and achieved them excessively!

Achieved them like a thousand miles a day! Achieved them like a mighty wind!

From Ireland to Cathay, known to all, familiar to everyone!

From stock price to market value wildly rising, creating new highs!

This feeling is like a globally famous group company announcing they'll develop an unprecedented product, then under universal anticipation served up an entire pile of shit (physical)!

Bewildernt and disbelief will be their only emotions at this mont!

A sensational collapse, starting from this mont, is suddenly spreading throughout the entire gaming circle!

Reputation collapse and overwhelming curses are already the most insignificant negative consequences in this terrifying accident!

The truly terrifying consequence is CloudPower's recently record-breaking market value growth is visibly wildly evaporating......

While the outside world is still in complete chaos and confusion!

Blocky sun hangs in the sky, irregular rectangular strips of clouds float by.

Lakeside water sparkles brilliantly, grass underfoot grows lush and dense.

Peaceful years.

Only the rhythmic sound of knocking wood echoes in Dream's world.

Dream actually doesn't know what he should do now either.

Upon entering the ga, he spawned in a hilly terrain area, with mountains, water, and woods around.

In the backpack slots' upper left are ten pixel-art red hearts representing health.

Upper right has a string of ten pixel-art small hams, that's his hunger level.

That's it.

Just these.

Although Dream is still sowhat unaccustod to this motion-sensing pod pixel-art style, he opened the ga's built-in workshop, loaded a bunch of high-definition and lighting texture packs, elevating the visuals to a stunning level.

The interface UI remains like this.

So, based on his gaming experience and intuition, Dream decided to first experintally dig so wood:

"Not sure if I can dig like this, Stardew Valley at least had Mayor Lewis's hints and beginner's toolkit at the beginning, this ga actually gives nothing at all..."

While speaking!

Suddenly, a light crisp sound!

Dream watched as the tree trunk before him got a section dug out by himself, a section of wood automatically absorbed into his backpack

There's no what cos next.

The tree stump remains standing straight on the ground, with a gap in the middle, while the canopy above floats suspended in the air.

Dream froze for a full two seconds, emitting the characteristic sound of Golden Wind players.

Dream experintally reached out sweeping through the oak tree's gap.

No problem, not a bug, that trunk section has indeed been dug out by him.

And his Tree-ge indeed just floats suspended in the air, standing firm.

'???'

"This? Huh?"

"Why doesn't it fall? No physics? Universal gravity doesn't exist anymore?"

"No? Hahahahahaha I'm fucking covered in question marks!"

"Stop laughing! Co help ! Newton's coffin lid can't hold down anymore!"

Don't ask, ask and it's ga feature?

Actually, this damn thing really is a feature, it just... can... let blocks float...

Holy shit! I just thought of sothing amazing! Since blocks can float, doesn't that an we can build floating cities?

This setting.... feels quite Golden Wind-ish...

"Too ridiculous."

Viewers were shocked too!

After all, even the most basic gas usually implent model physics.

Big trees being chopped will fall down, floating physical models will drop to the ground

This is common sense!

My World defies such common sense by letting blocks independently float in the air!

Dream was also sowhat torn between laughter and tears.

"So what's this wood used for, how should I..."

"Oh—!!!"

As Dream placed the log into the heads-up display UI interface's small grid!

Four planks converted from the log then appear.

And when Dream, with a trial-and-error mindset, filled the four grids with the four planks!

A perfectly square workbench was thus magically combined and created!