The words of a young maid shook my life vigorously, having lived my life in inferiority and self-pity all my life.
My misfortune and suffering can be a luxury. How narrow was my life?
That night, I lit a candle on the table with a complicated mind. It was a quiet night with no wind.
Paradise on the Moon.
My first unfinished novel. I was deeply in love when I was writing this story.
To be exact, I had a terrible crush.
One of the reasons for the selection of my novel, which the Academy revealed in its letter, was its dense portrayal of emotion. What was written at the very beginning of the letter was the evaluation that my novel led the emotions of the characters excellently.
The secret to how this portrayal of emotions was so well-deserved is, of course, that I transcribed my actual feelings. The harsh and ardent feelings of love that I had written down as if I was possessed. It was indeed a fever that was both devastating and subli.
As I read
after a few months, the thought that ca to my mind was that the handwriting was soone elses and felt unfamiliar as if it was not mine.
However, the novel clearly reminded of how I ca to write these scenes and sentences in the end and how my feelings for Alan had changed.
For example, the shock of learning that it was Alan Leopold who saved from the snow and writing a scene in which Troy saves the heroine out of the cold snow. That overwhelming feeling that cannot be described was revived intact through the words in front of .
After the scene, even extre joy was read in the part where the two described each other as the most brilliant lovers in the world.
LI dont an to insult your family, but have you been taught to speak like that to the person who saved you?
It was a bonus that I rembered what Alan had said a few days ago. As soon as I heard that, my face turned red and I raised my voice.
But its true that I cant be purely grateful if I think he was able to find falling in the snow because he followed behind .
If it werent for him, I wouldnt be able to breathe and think this way, but saving my life doesnt an its okay to go through such a bizarre situation.
Of course, Im not saying Im not grateful for saving ..
In addition, the novel reminded of this mory. A carriage sent by the prince was waiting for in front of the house.
That day I was returning from a eting with Mr. Brickhouse now the husband of Viola, but not at the ti the carriage took to the palace. The expression took is a bit disrespectful, but theres no other word thats more appropriate.
(T/N: here, according to the customs of that ti, its respectful to say, escorted/led. But using the word took is a bit disrespectful)
In the Princes greenhouse I knew he had mistaken as Alans lover, and when I denied it, he said he would go straight to Alan.
The despair I tasted that day was so terrible that I didnt want to rember it again. The abyss of fear that struck the mont I thought I would be the object of Alans hatred and contempt.
There have been countless years of desperate longing and thirst, hoping that he would look back at one day. Even if I cant wish for the sa affection I had for the person Ive loved so earnestly, I dont want to be hated by him.
I wish I could go back to a ti when he didnt even know I existed, and I prayed with tears that I would rather go back to the days when I was by his side like transparent dust.
For the rest of my life, I didnt want to know how miserable and painful it felt and what the tears I shed were like.
The anxiety that grew in after that day desperately lted into the deep love and longing of the two characters in the novel. After a period when they were wary of each others existence, they beca each others world as if by fate, and Troy imprisoned the female protagonist who was afraid of emotions that grew out of control.
I never imagined that the last scene would beco a reality.
ha.
I laughed bitterly because if I cried now, I would really fall apart..
I was forgetting quite smoothly about how terrible and tearful my story was written only a few months ago, but I ended up unintentionally recalling it.
The Academy called it a beautiful novel to be true, but they were rely comfortable bystanders. Did they even see the tears left on the manuscript?
If only I could turn back ti, and go back to the days when I first knew him, I would sell my soul in order not to love Alan. I was young, innocent, and had nothing, and I loved him with all that I had. Without even imagining that the price would be so ugly.
Every ti the mories of holding him in my heart co to , a storm surges in my heart. Even if its a fragnt, to say that this feeling isnt love would be a joke.
Id be lying if I said I didnt love Alan anymore. Sadly, this is my impression of re-reading
.
And I have co to the conclusion that I am not going to continue this story. Even if Alan Leopold has dyed my heart with his color over the years, ti will eventually lift my hand if I want to push him away completely.
With that in mind, I blew out the flickering candle. The pitch-black darkness was as cozy as ever. I felt like I could say everything I wanted to say if I faced him again. For the first ti.
* * *
Sir Alan!
Are you coming in now?
Young people gathered in the garden politely welcod the young businessman who returned to the office after suffering from the disgusting human groupings all morning. Scholarship students from the kingdom were having field trips and helped the family (Leopold) business.
But Alan couldnt afford to accept their cheerful greetings. Giving only a simple nod, he entered the building with a rather hasty, nonetheless, unobtrusive pace.
As expected, what awaited him in the Principality was indeed a mountain of work. Investing in railway businesses that would be a conduit to a new era, expanding trade items with the Hwa Empire, and planning Leopolds philanthropy to establish his na in the Principality. It was literally an endless procession of work.
Alan literally put his life and soul into the new business of Lunoa, which he first took charge of under his own na, so he tried to be perfect in every mont. It was for that reason that all agenda items were reviewed and directed directly by himself. None of his staff could completely replace him.
As his father said, Alan had a natural entrepreneurial temperant, even though he did not have a single drop of Leopolds blood. So far, it was tolerable. The problem was to stamp his face (show his face) on various gatherings and social clubs that were constantly looking for him.
He hated people and relationships with people. He was willing to hang out with boring humans to cent his reputation as quickly as possible, but felt as if he had reached his limit every ti.
The reason was that no matter how early the business was, sleeping at night in a new place called ho was extrely rare. It was really annoying that he couldnt even go and rest even though he finally had everything. To the extent that it even raises a sense of impatience.
It was fortunate that he could go ho after a long ti. Last night he t everyones expectations flawlessly, so no one dares to criticize him for not hanging out with the old businessn of the Principality for two days in a row.
If only I could handle the docunts that need to be checked urgently and go back to the mansion before dinner.
If thats the case, they might be able to eat together today. A woman who always makes him laugh in a new way, who blindly asks if he loves her.
However, as soon as he opened the office door, touching his tired eyes after walking through the long hallway, his expression changed like a sharp blade that could no longer be sharpened.
Baby!
William.
Alan called out the na of the butler who stood beside him instead of the woman who was waiting for him with a lovely face.
Yes, master.
I dont rember anyone being allowed in the office.
she ca to the office early in the morning.
Alan reluctantly gave the woman a cold look as the butler bowed awkwardly.
Surely Monica seems to have killed ti here for quite so ti. It was not difficult to infer the fact even with her rather dry skin, lips, and the state of the teacup in front of her.
But thats her situation.
I was told not to co. (Monica)
Are you still angry? I took out all my luggage. (Monica)
Ha. (Alan)
Monica had an uncharacteristically sullen face at Alans chilling derision.
You may ask William. (Monica)
The whole story was like this. Monica, who first returned to Lunoa with the familys servants, stayed in Alans mansion and waited for him to co.
What Alan bought was an old castle with dozens of rooms located on the outskirts of the capital. It would not be unreasonable to interpret that he was finally ready to greet soone.
So she had no idea that Alan, who had finally entered the Principality, would be so angry.
The two were once each others only friends, even if they were always cynical. Naturally, Monica knew his wounds and secrets, and there was no need to be hurt again by the coldness that ca from him.
Moreover, she firmly believed that she was the only one who could understand and embrace Alans flaws, and truly love him in any form.
Nevertheless, she had never seen Alan this angry and cruel in her life that day, so she almost burst into tears at that ti.
Get out of here right now.
It was a scene that she would rember for a very long ti, perhaps forever, but she managed to hold back tears, not knowing the aning of his first business to Alan Leopold.
She should have just hugged and comforted him with a lot of thorns on him. Until everything is settled down.
That is the role of a woman who will beco a spouse.
But Monica never dread of it. Her beloved Alans hasty hiding of a woman in the basent of the mansion to avoid being caught by her.
Baby, please dont make a scary face. You know Ive been waiting for you to co to the Principality.
Seeing her jewel-like blue eyes slowly getting teary, Alan turned his head with a tired sigh. Of course, he could moderately sooth her. That may be the most efficient and wise move.
However, the young businessman was inclined to make sure of anything.
Whatever, go back today.
Monica imdiately stood up at the sound of his voice that had subsided. Barely moving her pitiful lips that had been trembling.
Ive seen your face, so thats fine. Youve been busy since the morning. Right? When the business settles down, we
Monica.
.
To be clear, it has nothing to do with business.
If Monica Elwood t his muse in the annex, sothing would happen, and he had no patience to endure the uproar.
Dont co to my house.
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